


The Cost of Love

by Suiteharte



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 37
Words: 56,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suiteharte/pseuds/Suiteharte
Summary: Loving someone is a risk. After several years of marriage and two children, Haruhi unexpectedly loses Tamaki. Grief is the price she pays for her lost love. In order to fall for someone new, she has to make room in her heart, risking additional heartache.This story is post-manga.  At some point, there will be mentions of characters and events that were in the manga only.





	1. Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The sun was shining and the world was bright with the colors of spring. The grounds smelled of freshly cut grass and fragrant flowers. The air buzzed with the business of pollination. It was early May and exactly the kind of day her husband lived for. 

Haruhi stood still amongst the gravestones, her face drained of color and emotion, staring blankly through bloodshot eyes that refused to release tears. She supported her nineteen-month old daughter against her body with one side, and held the hand of her nearly four-year-old son on the other. The boy sniffled soft sobs and wiped away the endless tears for the father he already missed so dearly. An ornate casket covered in white roses encased her beloved Tamaki as he was lowered into the ground.

It was hard for Haruhi not to think about the last time she spoke with him. He was preparing to board his plane - a return flight from Japan. He had been excited at the prospect of meeting someone new in the business-class section of the plane. He had always made new friends easily, new connections during his travels. She and Tamaki had discussed the children and avoided work topics. There was always enough time for business talk when he was back home in France. Even though Haruhi had chosen to practice law for the Suoh Corporation, they both preferred to leave their personal and private lives separate. Private conversations were meant to be personal, reserving work discussion to business hours. Before they ended their last conversation, they each declared “I love you.”

The pleasant memory elicited from Haruhi the merest of smiles, but the next memory broke her heart all over again.

A phone call from Yuzuru on her office landline.

“Haruhi, have you seen the news?” She could hear the hitch in his voice. Something was wrong.

“No, I’ve been a little too busy to turn the TV on today. What’s happened?” A sudden knot terror formed in the pit of her stomach. She hastened to the television mounted on the wall of her home office and quickly changed the channel to the local news station.

_Flight 98 has disappeared over the Hida Mountains early this morning._

Everything else in the news report was a blur. She disconnected the call from her father-in-law and called Tamaki’s cell. It went straight to voicemail. Of course it did, but she didn’t know what else to do. She kept vigil of the news for any updates. No follow-up or additional information were reported through the remainder of the afternoon or the evening. She finally resigned to bed after the 1 a.m. broadcast failed to update the situation, but she couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned, unable to quell her anxiety to get the rest she desperately needed. Every hour or so, she called Tamaki’s phone. Still no answer.

The following morning, she turned the news on again. There were no new reports, only those repeating information about the missing plane and the ongoing search, but she remained glued to the screen for hours. During an afternoon news report, she received the news she had been dreading most.

_Flight 98 has been discovered. Every effort is being made to recover the vessel and its occupants, but there are no survivors._

Haruhi’s world shattered. Tamaki, who had been so full of life and love and embodied everything that was good in the world, was gone. He was her first and only love. He was her husband, lover, colleague, confidante, and father of her children. He had just turned 29 last month. They had so many plans for the future. The tears came suddenly then, and she thought they would never stop.

Tamaki’s body had been recovered from the wreckage. She hadn’t been allowed to see him, though. In her grief and stupor, his will had quietly been brought to her attention by another Suoh Corp lawyer. The will indicated all the arrangements for his funeral. He wanted an open casket, and to be surrounded by white roses. He wanted to be buried in France, next to his mother who had succumbed to her illness two years prior. He stated that he had spent too much time apart from her while she was alive, and he wanted to be near to her in death. There were some minor bequests, to charities and friends, but nothing that caused any kind of commotion or discord. Though he had been named his father’s heir, Tamaki’s will did not name a successor. The couple had discussed this at length after the birth of their son, and neither wanted to put that kind of pressure on the child. Tamaki thought he had so much more time to make a different decision and change the will. She let the household staff handle the preparations for the funeral, preferring to stay in her room and let flow the tears that wouldn’t stop.

 A week after the confirmation, Haruhi stood before her husband’s grave, a widow and single mother of two at the age of 28. Tamaki had looked beautiful in his casket today, almost as much as he did when he was alive. A light breeze tousled her hair. She looked around, suddenly irate. Why did today have to be such a gorgeous day? It should be gloomy to match her mood.

After the service, a nanny took the children, Kazuki and Risa, for their lunch. They still didn’t understand, not completely. Risa would never know or remember her own father, even though she carried his beloved teddy bear everywhere she went. Kazuki was different, though. Haruhi had been about the same age when her mother had passed. She knew a part of her son knew his father wasn’t coming home, but there was little she could do for him in her own devastation.

As the guests filtered out of the cemetery, they offered condolences and then left a barely-responsive Haruhi alone. As she stared at the upturned ground, she fell to her knees and the cascade began once more. She thought she was out of tears, but the well ran deeper still. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she was greeted by Mori, a sympathetic expression adorning his features. He easily raised her to her feet and embraced her without saying a word. She was crying into his hug, but suddenly felt more arms around her. 

Haruhi pulled away from Mori to find the other members of her former Host Club surrounding her. When did they arrive? Had they been there the whole time? They were all busy men, most with families of their own. Had they dropped everything to come to France to attend Tamaki’s funeral?

“Of course we came, Haru,” a tearful Hunny squeaked. “Tama was our friend and so are you.”

Haruhi’s tears flowed faster as she turned and hugged Hunny, only to be embraced once again by Mori and the twins. Kyoya reached his hand out to hold onto Haruhi’s shoulder. They all let her cry.

She didn’t know how long they remained in that position, but she wanted them to comfort her forever. It couldn’t last though. She heard Kazuki’s voice, “Mama! Mama!” Haruhi broke away from her friends as her son ran into her arms.

“Shouldn’t you be eating?” Haruhi asked her son, drying her tears and controlling the crack in her voice.

“I did. But I was done and Risa was crying so I ran away from nanny.” He still had food smudged on his face, one that looked all too much like his father’s - especially his violet-blue eyes.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up,” she said as she ran her fingers through his brown hair and led him away from the group. Away from his father’s grave. She looked back at her friends and wondered how long they would stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my very first story! Please read and review. It is greatly appreciated. 
> 
> I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my two beta readers. I'm not sure if they have AO3 accounts for me to call them out personally, but they know who they are.


	2. Wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The private cemetery was situated on the old Grantaine estate, so it was only a short trek to the wake being held in a pavilion erected for the occasion. Haruhi guided her son to a restroom to clean up, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. Upon exiting the bathroom, however, Haruhi was immediately accosted by a tiny girl in a grey chiffon dress. She had large brown eyes and curly blonde ringlets.

 

“Fumiko!” exclaimed her son, “Mom didn’t tell me you were coming!” Fumiko simply smiled and grabbed Kazuki’s hand, dragging him in off to play. Haruhi watched them run off together. When she turned her attention to the wake, the Host Club was waiting. They all must have followed closely when she left the cemetery. She lowered her gaze, silent, not that she knew what to say anyway. She didn’t trust herself not to start crying again. After all, these men knew her the best in all the world now.

 

Hunny was the first to speak up. “Fumiko was excited the whole trip to see Kazuki again. I see she’s already found him and pulled him away.”

 

“Yes, your little girl wasted no time at all. Did Reiko make the trip?”

 

After that, the conversation ran more smoothly. Hunny’s wife, Reiko, joined them, as did Kaoru’s pregnant wife Hayame.

 

Mori apologized for his wife’s absence, but she just couldn’t bear to leave their infant son for more than an overnight trip. Haruhi understood. She had been the same way after Kazuki was born. She’d even had a bassinet set up in her home office so he would be close as she worked.

 

Kyoya introduced his fiance, Suzume, to the club. Everyone understood the match had been arranged by their fathers, but Kyoya wouldn’t be going through with it if the girl didn’t have any redeeming qualities.

 

Hikaru was conspicuously alone. Now a notorious ladies’ man, he normally had a different model on his arm at every event when they all met. However, he didn’t think this was appropriate place for a date.

 

Though the conversation was often interrupted by visitors wishing condolences, the group settled into a comfortable ease in a far corner of the pavilion. Haruhi knew she should mingle more and thank people for coming – there were a lot of important business associates and clients in attendance – but she found she didn’t want to leave the safety of her circle of friends. Besides, Tamaki’s father, grandmother, and maternal grandparents were doing a fine job, and holding it together far better than she felt. Her own father was there as well, but he’d been warned not to make a scene by fussing over Haruhi. Instead, he attended to Risa, playing with her, and then rocking her (and Beary) until she fell asleep.

 

The afternoon faded to evening,and all the guests left. The Host Club were the last to depart. Hunny had some trouble separating Fumiko from Kazuki. They had been playing house,and she had nearly convinced him to eat her amazing mud pie. Though nearly a year apart, the two were quite attached. Hunny and Tamaki had made efforts to visit one another with the children every few months, since they were the only Host Club members who had kids. Haruhi made a mental note she would have to be the one to arrange these visits now. Plus, Mori now had a son,and Kaoru was going to have his own soon. The thought of travelling between France and Japan unnerved Haruhi, so she pushed it out of her mind for now.

 

That night, only family remained on the estate. She had offered lodging to the Host Club, but they had already made arrangements. Of course they had. They were all adults now. She wasn’t thinking straight. Once she returned to her home, all she wanted to do was sleep. She went straight to bed, but couldn’t calm her nerves. She navigated the dark, sleeping house to make some tea in the kitchen. The warmth of the tea relaxed her a bit. She went to each of the kids’ rooms to tuck them in and kiss them on their foreheads. These two darlings were the best things she and Tamaki had done.

 

_Without them_ , she thought, _I don’t think I could do this._ She returned to her own room and fell into a restless sleep. Tomorrow would be a new life.

 

**Author's Note:**

I've seen Tamaki's teddy bear referred to as Kuma-bear, but the manga I own refers to the bear as Beary. 


	3. Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

The Host Club members each left when it suited them. They certainly kept Haruhi distracted and she was sorry to see them go.

The day after the service, Kaoru was the first to leave. He was still in design phase for his Fashion Week shows, and needed to finish soon in order to get his pieces into production.

Kyoya left later that same day. He was still in training at the University of Tokyo Hospital for his newly acquired management position. It wasn't an Ootori business, but it was an important experience.

Mori stayed three days, and cited work as his reason for leaving – Hunny informed Haruhi that was a lie. Mori could easily work anywhere, and typically did so from home, only commuting to Tokyo as needed. In truth, Mori missed his wife Hisa and two-month-old son Hiroki. Haruhi thought it was sweet, and didn't hold it against him.

Hikaru left the day after Mori. The famous photographer had been booked to shoot in some exotic locale or another.

Hunny was the last, the extended stay fueled more by the ever-insistent Fumiko than anything else. But after a week, Hunny and Reiko felt they'd worn out their welcome and left Haruhi to her own devices, taking Ranka home as well on their private plane.

Alone. Haruhi was alone.

The next couple of weeks, she found she didn't have the energy to get out of bed. The king-size mattress and luxurious bedding claimed her as their own in a way they never had before. On the occasion she thought to remove herself from the comfort of her pillows for any reason other than to relieve herself, a sense of panic overwhelmed her and she dove further into the embrace of her sheets.

Servants brought her food, most of which remained untouched. In an attempt to prod her into eating more than a little bit of rice, the chef made food from a different culture each day. The strange new dishes did not whet her appetite, however.

The nanny brought the children to see her every day, which lifted her spirit some. Her son was already a serious child before his father's death, much like Haruhi. She knew if it hadn't been for Risa, he would have withdrawn completely, just like Haruhi had when she lost her mother. Risa, on the other hand, was a talkative, dramatic, dynamic bundle of energy and laughter. She frolicked around the room with her blonde hair and brown eyes, wanting her big brother to play with her. Haruhi was thankful the children had each other.

She no longer had the energy to cry, either. Her emotions welled up inside her, but no release came. Her new life had become one of apathy and emptiness.

After a month, Haruhi managed to escape the clutches of her bed. Her appetite increased, but was nothing compared to what it had once been.

She progressively improved to the point where she could function on a basic level, which included work. Though other members of the legal staff had tried to compensate during her absence, a lot of work had piled up. Some of her responsibilities as a Suoh were beyond what her underlings were prepared for. Working took her mind off the sorrow. During meetings and conference calls, she quickly learned the best answer to questions about how she was doing was, "Fine." Anything else evoked a sense of pity she couldn't stand, and left a pall over the remainder of the meeting or call.

Before she knew it, two months had passed. Yuzuru Suoh stood in her office doorway, but Haruhi, engrossed in her work, didn't notice as she worked. He cleared his throat, catching her attention, and asked her to take a walk. She knew where he wanted to go, so she made sure to grab some tissues. Wherever this conversation was going to take her, she wanted to be prepared.

The pair chatted about the children as they went, musing about how important Kazuki thought he was because he was now being tutored in reading and writing (Haruhi and Tamaki had taught him his alphabet themselves), as well as the piano. Risa found the lessons boring, so she just jabbered on in her own little world, distracting and irritating her big brother. They arrived at the graves for Anne-Sophie and Tamaki, the two most important people in Yuzuru's life. As intensely as Haruhi had taken Tamaki's death, she couldn't help but feel worse for Yuzuru, who had lost the love of his life and his only child in less than three years' time. They stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Haruhi, I need you," Yuzuru started.

"Excuse me?" She turned her head toward him, but he didn't meet her gaze. His eyes were focused on Tamaki's grave. His grey suit matched the grey in Yuzuru's hair. She couldn't help thinking he looked so much older than he did before.

"In Tokyo. With Tamaki gone, I need someone to pick up his responsibilities."

"You could hire someone."

"I've tried. I did, but we've actually gone through three promising candidates these last two months. No one is willing to put in the level of effort expected. No one else has the drive to make Suoh Corp succeed. Most importantly, you know where he wanted this company to go. Tamaki made a good start, but I need you to finish." His voice was flat and distant.

Haruhi remained silent, processing. She faced Tamaki's grave once again. A light breeze blew strands of her hair into her face and caused the white cotton sundress she was wearing to subtly billow around her form. So many thoughts raced through her mind in quick succession.

_How could he ask this of me? My life is here, in France. Tamaki is here. How could I leave him? Will I even be able to get on an airplane? Will I have to travel like he did? I don't think I can do this_.

"I'm just a lawyer, though. I don't know how to do his job."

"You're a Suoh, Haruhi, and a quick study."

"I need more details. Will the position involve travel? Where will we live? There's so much more I need to know before I can begin to consider this. Then, I need time to think."

"Of course. We can discuss the details at a later time. But I wanted to ask you in person."

Yuzuru left Haruhi so he could interrupt Kazuki's lessons and spoil him and Risa. Haruhi leaned her forehead against her husband's tall, ornate gravestone. Now, after months of numbness, tears filled her eyes. Overwhelmed by fear and grief, Haruhi sobbed harder and longer than she had since before Tamaki's funeral.

She didn't want to leave him behind, but her sense of duty compelled her. This was something she was going to have to do. She couldn't be the reason Suoh Corp stagnated and failed. She couldn't let Tamaki's dream of a better world, ushered in by his family's company, die along with him.

Haruhi made all the necessary arrangements, and moved herself and her children to the second Suoh mansion, also known as Kawari, (for privacy purposes) less than one month after she spoke with Yuzuru.

* * *

Author's Note:

Suoh Mansion #2 will be mentioned as Kawari from this point forward.

Thank you to all those who have taken time out of their lives to read my story. 


	4. The Next Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

Life at Suoh mansion #2, otherwise known as Kawari, was similar to life in France, even though most of the staff was different. The rooms were large and extravagant, the grounds extensive and well-manicured.

Her son had begged for his piano tutor to come with them, and the woman had agreed to come along. Haruhi paid for the woman to live in an apartment nearby, in addition to her generous salary. The transition for the children was less jarring than Haruhi had imagined. Both were fluent in French, Japanese, and English, which helped to ease them into their new situation.

Once their belongings were unpacked and settled, Haruhi created a shrine for Tamaki in an unused office near her bedroom. She instructed the gardener to grow white roses in the greenhouse year-round so she could put a fresh rose on his shrine every morning before she began her morning routine. The work took hold of her time. She spent most of her time at Suoh Corp headquarters or in her home office. She didn't even see her children as much as she once did, even when she worked from home. She lost track of time and only saw them as they slept.

Her friends had expected her to visit more now that she lived in such close proximity, but they rarely saw her either. When they dropped by, she was busy. The rare times she did meet with them for lunch or tea, their appointment had to be arranged weeks in advance. Once there, if she hadn't cancelled, she was distracted, absent-minded, and sometimes just rude. She'd always been blunt, but this was something different.

Who was this person she had become? Her head was in a fog of misery which she had to hide from the world so she could accomplish Tamaki's dream. How had Tamaki managed to do everything he did and still be an incredible husband, father, and human being? The harder she worked, the less she slept and ate, which left her feeling increasingly irritable and run-down.

In September, Kaoru and his wife welcomed a baby boy, Toichi, which should have been a joyous occasion to be celebrated, but it only made Haruhi angry. She attended the party thrown to celebrate the child's birth along with the rest of the Host Club and their significant others, but she kept to herself. Looking around at all these happy faces frustrated her to no end. Everyone else's lives were moving along while hers had stopped when Tamaki left her to handle life on her own. Unable to take any more of the merry-making, and not wanting to bring everyone else down, Haruhi left the room to find a quiet place to cry. As she left the room, she looked back. No one even knew she was leaving.

Haruhi walked outside and stood on a balcony decorated with orange roses. She stared out at the greenery of an extensive hedge maze.  _Leave it to Kaoru to torture his visitors with a hedge maze. There's probably not even a way out._ Haruhi sighed as she put her hands on the railing. Unbidden, the tears came. She didn't know how long she'd been on that balcony, but she felt someone else's presence. She lifted her head to try to staunch the flow of tears, and turned her head slowly, proudly.

Before her stood Suzume, Kyoya's fiance. Suzume, a striking beauty of average height with dark hair and onyx eyes, was the the daughter of a pharmaceutical mogul. She, herself, was a trained psychologist and researcher.  _That's right. Kyoya is to be married next month_.

Everyone was happy except her. She wanted to be excited for them, to smile that they had found love and joy, but she couldn't summon it. She had lost her joy in an airplane crash in May. More tears welled up in her eyes and she snapped her head back toward the twisting labyrinth of boxwood evergreens. 

Suzume spoke softly as she moved forward to stand next to Haruhi and look out at the maze. "You need help, Mrs. Suoh. Everyone is so worried about you. If you need someone to talk to, I can be that person. Or, I can give you the number of someone else, someone you wouldn't necessarily have to see socially."

Haruhi was speechless. She hadn't considered she needed any kind of therapy. She didn't think it would do any good. She fully expected to feel this way, with all her anger and frustration and sorrow, for the rest of her life.

Suzume hugged her, out of the blue. She was so warm. "Here's my card and the cards for some of my colleagues. It doesn't matter who, but anyone. Please. Not just for your friends or your family or your kids, but for yourself. For Tamaki, too."

She gently placed half a dozen business cards of varied colors and paper stock into Haruhi's palm with a soft smile, and then walked back inside. Haruhi stared at her hand, wondering if she could take the next step and ask for help.

She'd rarely been in a position where she didn't have the answers, or at least where to start. Suzume had given her a stepping stone.


	5. Reaching Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bad dream acts as a catalyst for Haruhi to seek help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

_She was at an amusement park, running. This place was vaguely familiar. Why was she running? She looked behind her. Some nondescript girls whose faces she had forgotten long ago were chasing her. This had happened before._

 

_Someone was holding her hand, willing her to move faster. It was only a little further. In front of her, holding her hand, was a high school aged Tamaki. They stopped at the fountain, and were suddenly surrounded by birds and water. The look on his face was pure magic._

 

_She pulled him into a kiss,_ _and when their lips met, the world shifted. When their lips separated and their eyes opened, Tamaki was in a tuxedo. She was wearing a gorgeous white dress. She had a veil in her hair and a bouquet of red and white roses in her hands._

 

_This was their wedding day,_ _and Tamaki had tears in his eyes. He lifted her and carried her down an aisle of blurred faces, laughing. When he sat her down, they were in an expensively decorated hotel room. She remembered this room fondly. This was their suite at the resort in Spain where they had honeymooned._

 

_How could she forget any detail in this room,_ _considering they barely left it the entire time they had been there? She turned to Tamaki, smiling, and he was undressed. She looked down and saw she was likewise attired. She blushed,_ _and he kissed her deeply. A rush of butterflies fluttered in her stomach._

 

_This wasn’t just their honeymoon, but their first time together like this. Then they were in the bed, lying in each other’s arms. He held her close and spoke softly, “I love you, my precious Haruhi. I’ll love you forever. But my forever isn’t as long as yours.”_

 

_She looked up at his face; it was battered and bruised, his eyes lifeless. She screamed._

  
  


Haruhi woke with a start in tears and in cold sweat. Was that scream out loud,or just in her dream? She never knew how she could tell. She did know she couldn’t do this anymore. She picked up her phone and a business card.

  
  


**This is Haruhi Suoh. I’m ready to talk.**

  
  


Haruhi pressed the Send button,and only then realized it was 2 a.m. Assuming she wouldn’t receive a response, she tried going back to sleep, but to no avail. Every time she drifted off, she dreamed the end of her last dream and woke again. This dream, either in its entirety or in pieces, had been recurring at least twice a week since his funeral. Tired of struggling with sleep,and drenched in a sheen of cold sweat, Haruhi got out of bed to take a warm shower. Once clean,and donning a new nightgown, Haruhi decided to try sleep one more time. She checked her phone for the time and saw she had a message.

  
  


**I’ll be there soon. -Received 2:45 am**

  
  


It was now 3:15a.m., meaning the visitor would arrive any minute. As she held her phone, her phone buzzed with the receipt of another message.

  
  


**Can you call the front gate to let me in?**

  
  


Haruhi did as she was asked, then made her way downstairs to the foyer, a soft red robe pulled around her body. She opened the door a few minutes later when she heard a light knock, admitting her late-night visitor. Even without makeup and expertly styled hair, Suzume was a stunning young woman.

 

“Thank you for calling me, Mrs. Suoh.”

 

“Please, call me Haruhi. Thank you for coming. I wasn’t expecting such an immediate response, or for you to drop everything to come over.”

 

“Well, I was asleep, but Kyoya heard my phone. He checked the message and woke me, otherwise it wouldn’t have been until morning. You’re lucky he cares so much about you. He would have ignored a message from anyone else at that hour.”

 

The way she had said it made Haruhi uncomfortable. “Do you want some tea?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

Suzume followed Haruhi into the kitchen and watched in silence as Haruhi prepared the tea. When the tea was done, they sat at a small table the cooks and servants often used.

 

“Why was Kyoya there so late?”

 

Suzume blushed. “It isn’t what you think. My father arranged for me to stay at the Ootori mansion a few times a week, in a separate bedroom, of course, to get to know Kyoya, his family, and the house since we’ll be living there after we’re married. I had fallen asleep on the couch in his office while he was working.”

 

“Kyoya doesn’t live with his parents.”

 

“He’s been working there. Haruhi, please. I realize this is awkward, but can we talk about you? You wouldn’t have asked for help if you didn’t think you needed it.”

Haruhi took a deep breath and told Suzume about her recurring dream. Suzume wanted to know more about Tamaki so she could better understand how to help her. Though she had met him a few times during his visits to Tokyo, she didn’t know many details about him or his personal life. And since his death, Kyoya refused to talk about him. The part about Kyoya didn’t surprise Haruhi. He’d always kept his intentions close to the chest and his emotions even closer.

 

She started from the beginning, explaining how she’d met Tamaki and the rest of the Host Club during her first year at Ouran Academy, incurring a debt that would shape her entire life. Detailing some of the club’s antics, she reflected there were always feelings between herself and Tamaki, but both had been too dense to acknowledge those feelings. Tamaki put together a family scenario wherein he was the father, Kyoya was the mother of the group (previously unknown to Suzume, who had to stop Haruhi for a few minutes while she got her laughter under control), and she was the daughter with the twins as her brothers. On her own part, she was just oblivious to any romantic feelings anyone had toward her, or her to them, just as she never noticed Hikaru’s feelings until after he announced them.

 

“Tamaki was the most annoying person I had ever met,” Haruhi explained wistfully, “but once I got to know him better, he was still the most annoying person – infuriating, really – but he was also kind, considerate, and passionate to help others, even if he had to suffer ridicule or harm in some form in order to achieve his goal of making that other person happy. That was the point of the Host Club, after all. He often made situations more complicated than they needed to be, but the journey with him was fun, though I didn’t admit it at the time.”

 

“When did you first realize there was something more there? Something beyond friendship?”

 

“It was Hikaru. After I turned him down, he asked me if I was in love with Tamaki. I hadn’t considered it before, but his question forced me to see that Tamaki may have had feelings for me,and I needed to figure out how to deal with everything. I was confused about my own feelings for some time,and worried if he felt the same way. I was tense around him,and he had some family issues that forced him to push me away. I didn’t care for that at all.

 

“But when his mother, who he hadn’t seen in over three years because his grandmother forbade it, came to Tokyo for a visit and he refused to see her unless his grandmother approved, that was enough. I realized I loved him too much to let him miss out on that opportunity. Everyone pulled out all the stops to get him to the airport to see her before her plane left. By everyone, I don’t just mean the Host Club. A large portion of Ouran Academy student body lent a hand. They all understood how incredible he was because he had helped all of them in one way or another. They wanted to help him in return.

 

“He did get to her in time, but only spent about five minutes with his mother. There was a kind of serenity on his face I’d never seen before as he watched that airplane. That was the first time I admitted it aloud, to him, that I loved him. He was shocked and stumbled over his words, but he felt the same. Then we shared our first real (intentional) kiss.”

 

“I wish I could have known him better,” Suzume said, looking like she was about to cry. “We should stop for now, though,” she said, glancing down at her watch, “It’s 5 a.m. and I need to get back to prepare for my day.”

 

“That’s it? No ‘take two aspirin and call me in the morning?’”

 

“This doesn’t work like that. There’s no quick fix for a heart as broken as yours. It’ll take a lot of time, tea, and talking things through before you’re truly on the mend. But I’ll be here whenever you need. Even at 3 am, though I hope it doesn’t become a habit. Until our next talk, please take care of yourself.”

 

Haruhi showed her out, then went back to her room. She turned her alarm off and crawled into bed. She sent an email to her assistant saying she was taking the day off. For the first time in months, Haruhi fell into a sound, dreamless sleep,and woke fully-rested later that morning. She spent her day with Kazuki and Risa, who were thrilled their mother seemed to be feeling better.

  
  
  


 


	6. The Wedding of Kyoya Ootori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not Ouran High School Host Club.

Haruhi and Suzume met nearly every day for the following month. On the days they didn't meet, they texted or emailed back and forth. The day before Suzume's wedding to Kyoya, she visited Haruhi at Kawari. The past month, Haruhi discovered she was more focused after her meetings with Suzume. Having someone to talk to had done her a world of good, though she knew she wasn't completely past this. She was certain she would never be the same as she was before, but she hoped she could be a better version of her new self at some point. Suzume was instrumental in this.

"It occurs to me," Haruhi stated, as she sipped her tea, "perhaps I should be paying you for these sessions and your time. I mean, this is some of what you do professionally."

"Don't be ridiculous. If I wanted payment, I would have sent you a bill already. Besides, there are two reasons you aren't paying me. First, this has been a favor to Kyoya. He can be intimidating when he wants to be, and I'd rather not put myself into a position where he feels he has to manipulate me to do what he wants. I'd also rather not be on his bad side. Second, I now consider you my friend. These sessions are just two women chatting, developing a friendship, and bonding. It really is for the best. We were going to be in each other's lives already, but now we can meet as friends rather than acquaintances connected only by Kyoya."

Haruhi smiled awkwardly. She was grateful for a new friend, but she also felt a little uncomfortable. This new friend knew so much about her personal, intimate life, but Haruhi knew very little about hers. Suzume was a bright young woman, but she kept much to herself. Perhaps that's something Kyoya valued. Haruhi couldn't help trying to pry, if only to better understand Suzume.

"You know so much about me, but you don't talk much about yourself."

Suzume hesitated, but it was too late. "There isn't much to know. My father inherited a small pharmaceutical company from his parents shortly after I was born. He spent so much time growing the company, he neglected his family. I grew up an only child, though I wasn't as spoiled as others. My mother came from a modest background, and made sure to keep me grounded.

"I was sent to the best schools, finishing at Lobelia Girls' Academy and continuing on to Tokyo University for my post-secondary education. During my senior year of university, my father received a request to court me from a fellow student. Suddenly, he was aware that I was a grown woman of marriageable age. He rejected the request and sought a more appropriate match.

"Kyoya's father was a colleague, and when my father found out he had an unmarried son close to my age, he did everything in his power to secure the engagement. Kyoya wouldn't agree, of course, until after he'd met me and analyzed my life. He finally agreed once I had graduated and obtained a position at one of the Ootori Group's health facilities. Our fathers hammered out the details.

"After we're married, the Ootori Group will take over my father's company, but my father will be left to manage it until he retires. I have no interest in pharmaceuticals, but the Ootori Group employs capable people who can manage after my father retires."

"Lobelia Girls' Academy, huh? Were you a part of the Zuka Club?" Haruhi inquired hesitantly. Suzume didn't seem like one of those crazy fangirls.

"Definitely not," Suzume chuckled. "Those ladies were absolutely ridiculous. I was a bit of an outcast because I didn't fawn over the illustrious White Lily League, but I didn't care."

"Remember that dream I first told you about, with the women chasing me? Those were members of the Zuka Club. They had been trying to convince me to transfer to Lobelia for months after a visit to Ouran. Benio even tried to pull me into one of their plays just so she could kiss me. It didn't work because the Host Club and my dad showed up. But they were at the amusement park during my first date with Tamaki. They refused to believe I was on a date with a boy, let alone the idiot leader of the Host Club. So they chased us, and Tamaki's magic trick distracted them long enough for us to get in the car."

The women laughed together.  _It's nice to laugh again_ , Haruhi thought.

"Like I said, ridiculous. Benio Amakusa was a little before my time, but I have heard stories about her. The Zuka Club members were just as bad while I attended the school, though. I attended my five year reunion last year. Never again."

"Five year reunion? That would make you…"

"I'm 24. A full five years younger than Kyoya."

"I didn't realize how young you were. Not that you're a child or anything. I was married at 23. It seems like so long ago, but also like yesterday. It was the summer after I graduated from Oxford. I was going to start my law courses at Tokyo University during the fall semester. I remember worrying it was going to throw off my entire year, starting in the fall rather than the spring. Sometimes being a Suoh helps, though. I never had to do any of the greasing of wheels, but my father-in-law made sure there were no complications."

They finished their tea and Suzume had to leave. There was a lot to do with the wedding tomorrow.

"While I'm on my honeymoon, I'll be incommunicado. I'm sorry. You can message me if you need, but I doubt I will answer until we return to Japan in two weeks. But you could try getting your father to stay here with you."

"Don't apologize. I may message you, though, like a human diary. I could never talk to my dad about the things we discuss, but he might like to stay here to keep me company."

Kyoya and Suzume's wedding was apparently a big deal. In addition to the hosts and their spouses or dates, the event was attended by the entire upper crust of Japanese society, including high-ranking government officials. Haruhi felt a little awkward, being there without a date, but the other hosts kept her company and kept her spirits as high as they could.

The traditional Buddhist ceremony, which was important to Suzume's father, was held at the Tsukuji Hongan-ji temple in Tokyo. Suzume wore a simple white silk gown with cap sleeves and a modest scoop neckline and a lace veil. Kyoya was dressed simply in a black suit. Neither wore shoes.

Despite all the talk therapy Suzume had given her, the wedding and following reception still made Haruhi anxious. She was happy for her old friend, Kyoya, and her new friend, Suzume. But her happiness for the couple mixed with a bitterness that Tamaki wasn't here to enjoy it, or here at all. Sometimes, her grief overtook her. It was about to do just that when Kyoya tapped her on the shoulder.

"May I have this dance?"

"I couldn't refuse the groom on his wedding day, so you may, but shouldn't you be dancing with your bride?"

"We have a lifetime to dance. Besides," he looked over his shoulder to the dance floor, "Hikaru has taken the liberty of dancing with her." Kyoya turned his attention back to Haruhi with a smirk. "His date failed to distinguish between himself and Kaoru, so he ignored her and then played up the taboo twin act. She didn't appreciate his antics and stormed out." 

Haruhi took Kyoya's hand, and he led her to the dance floor. She offered her sincere congratulations and they kept the conversation light. He was hosting her. Their dance ended and she continued to watch him. Not to her surprise, he seemed to be hosting everyone there. Of course he was. This was, after all, a business transaction, an elaborate merger of a successful pharmaceutical company whose owner had no heir and would soon reach retirement age, and a healthcare conglomerate. What did surprise her was that he was hosting Suzume as well. When he looked at her, there was no warmth. When he smiled at her, it was polite, never reaching his eyes. Their dances were graceful and beautiful, but there was no passion.

Haruhi wondered if his wife knew. When she watched Suzume, she witnessed something far different than Kyoya. She saw a young woman enamored with a man she didn't fully know. Haruhi, for the first time, felt pity for Suzume. Suzume would get a crash course in the Ootori family, and Haruhi hoped the new bride could withstand the cool persona Kyoya presented.

When Haruhi left the party, she was exhausted, having danced with all of the hosts (except Kyoya) at least three times. Still, she was sad, but not just for herself. She was sad for Suzume, who deserved to be loved and respected by her husband, who deserved something like what she and Tamaki had, but she had instead married Tamaki's near-polar opposite as a business arrangement.


	7. Heir Apparent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

“I just can’t live here anymore,” Ranka whispered as he hugged his daughter. “I miss my job at the bar, and this place is not my home. It’s stifling, and I’m bored.” His auburn hair tickled Haruhi’s face and he smelled like he’d bathed in perfume.

 

“Thanks a lot, Dad,” Haruhi said, pulling away from her father’s embrace, slightly annoyed. “But, really, it’s okay. I really only meant for you to stay a couple of weeks, but you seemed like you loved it here. I never wanted you to be uncomfortable. I just wanted to take care of you since you’ve always done the same for me.”

 

“I’m your father. Taking care of you was my job, and I wasn’t always even the best at it. But no repayment is needed.”

 

“I know, but I still don’t want you to have to worry about money. Go to the bar to get your job back, and I will make arrangements for a new apartment. I will hire someone to cook and clean for you a few times a week. Then, whatever you make can be spent on anything you want—like clothes, or gifts for your grandkids, or travelling.”

 

“I accept, and thank you. You really are a beautiful soul.” With that, Ranka sashayed out of the mansion, leaving all his boxes and luggage in the foyer. Haruhi just shook her head. She called her private secretary to make the arrangements for her father. Being rich had its advantages.

 

* * *

Haruhi hadn’t seen or spoken to Suzume in person since the newlyweds had returned from their honeymoon two weeks prior. She was concerned, but hoped it was just that they were getting settled into their new life as a married couple. Kyoya’s birthday was coming up next week, maybe she could use that as an excuse to make contact. _Why do I need an excuse to contact them? They’re my friends._ The more she thought about it, the more she stressed. She didn’t want to be clingy. Newlyweds needed time to themselves. Finally, she messaged Suzume.

 

**Is everything OK? You haven’t been for a visit since you returned from your honeymoon.**

 

_All is well, just adjusting. I will visit tomorrow. Are you well?_   
  


**I am. See you tomorrow. I’ll have the tea ready.**   
  


They texted a little more to make the appointment. Haruhi was excited to see her friend again. Other than her father’s drama permeating her life, not much had changed in the month since she’d last seen her.

 

Suzume arrived the following day, right on time, as always. She smiled and hugged Haruhi in greeting, but the smile wasn’t genuine and her body was tense. Maybe she’d spent too much time with Kyoya, because Haruhi felt like she was being hosted in the first few minutes of their meeting, even though she was the one serving the tea. But Haruhi allowed her keep up the facade, at least for now. Something was bothering Suzume, and she would tell her in good time. Haruhi told Suzume about her father. He made the house so much louder, and definitely served as a welcome distraction most days. Plus the children loved having him around.

 

In no time at all, the ladies were laughing. But then, abruptly, Suzume was crying. Haruhi did not understand. “Suzume, you can talk to me. This friendship goes both ways now.”

 

“It’s so much. I don’t know what I can tell you, though. Being married to Kyoya is so much different than I expected. I knew this was a business deal, but I thought he at least cared for me some.”

 

Haruhi braced herself for whatever was coming. The Shadow King kept information about himself limited, but his wife was more trusting. She was going to learn a lot more about her friend than he intended anyone to know, not that Haruhi would ever use it against him.

 

“The honeymoon was awful. He worked the whole time. I mean, he did his duty, but only three times the entire two weeks. He was always on his laptop or cell phone. When I made an issue out of how often, he explained the Ootori family crisis. You know his brother, Yuuichi, is sterile?” Haruhi shook her head. “Well, he is. He was all set to be the heir, but since he can’t have children, his father doesn’t think he would be an appropriate choice. And Akito doesn’t even live in Japan anymore. He ran away to America three years ago and his father disowned him. Kyoya said the pressure had been too much for Akito.”

 

Haruhi was taken aback. Kyoya didn’t talk about his family much in the first place, but the scandal of Akito was not something any of the Ootoris would want anyone to know. She vaguely recalled overhearing Kyoya telling someone Akito wasn’t at his wedding because he was away on business. Actually, Akito was always on away on business. She understood now.

 

“That makes Kyoya the heir,” Suzume exhaled, her voice still cracking. “He’s putting that much more effort into doing what he can. If he’s officially named heir, he’ll have to give up his current position at the University Hospital. He doesn’t love me at all. I don’t think he even cares. He said he only agreed to be marry me – his father’s choice – if he was named heir. His father then told him he would only do so after the birth of his first son. Kyoya accepted his father’s terms.” Her face was covered by her hands. Haruhi couldn’t imagine how devastated Suzume was. On her wedding day, Suzume had been so in love with Kyoya.

 

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed this all on you. You have your own problems to deal with without me piling on my issues.” Suzume cleared her throat and straightened up.

 

“No worries. I’ve piled all of my problems on you. This is what friends are for.”

 

Suzume smiled. This one was real and sweet and thankful.

 

Once her friend left, Haruhi was upset. She knew Kyoya could be heartless, but she didn’t think he would go this far. Without a second thought, Haruhi left the house and drove to the University Hospital. At the front desk, she identified herself as Haruhi Suoh and asked the receptionist if Dr. Kyoya Ootori was there today. Of course he was, so she requested for him to be paged. This was the second time today the Suoh name had made life easier. Sometimes she really hated being one of the damn rich bastards she’d always complained about.

 

Haruhi took a seat, but wasn’t there long before Kyoya appeared. He was surprised to see her, but hid it well.

 

“Haruhi. Why are you here? Are you feeling okay?”

 

“Kyoya, we need to talk in private.”

 

“Very well.” He escorted her into an empty conference room after advising the receptionist to hold his calls. The room was less sterile than she expected. The floor was carpeted and the walls were painted in warm earth tones and adorned with artwork.

 

“Now,” Kyoya began, gesturing for her to take a seat at the large table in the center of the room, “Would you like to tell me what this is about?”

 

“I met with your wife today.” Haruhi remained standing and crossed her arms.

 

He sighed as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Don’t meddle with what you don’t understand, Haruhi,” he warned, an edge to his voice.

 

“I understand more than you know and you shouldn’t take it out on her. You’ve always said you would never marry someone just because your father put her forth, but you would weigh her merits for yourself. I thought the merits you would judge your future wife by would be more intangible, that you would choose someone who would be good for Kyoya, not Dr. Ootori.”

 

His mouth was a hard line, his eyes hidden by the glare on his glasses. “I did weigh her merits. The tangible merits far outweighed the intangible ones. If our marriage didn’t create an advantage for myself and the Ootori Group, I doubt I would have married her. But now I can be the heir.”

 

“I understand your motives, Kyoya. But Suzume is my friend now. At your own suggestion, I might add. She has been a better friend to me than anyone else these past couple of months, and has helped me recover to some degree after Tamaki.” She uncrossed her arms and took a step toward Kyoya, pleading. “I care about her. Why don’t you?”

 

“Caring about people is not something I do easily. I cared about Tamaki, and look what happened.”

 

Haruhi slapped him, tears in her eyes. “Don’t you ever use Tamaki as an example not to get close to people! He wouldn’t want that at all.” The tears glistened in her eyes, but her glare was steel.

 

Kyoya, stunned by the sting in his cheek and Haruhi’s harsh words, softened. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Haruhi. She wrapped her arms around him and cried into his chest. He stroked her hair and apologized.

 

Her tears had subsided by the time she pulled away, but her face was red and puffy. She had changed so much. The young, independent girl he knew, who he thought could never be broken had been shattered by her husband’s death. He knew she was struggling, but he hadn’t realized it was like this.

 

“Suzume deserves better, Kyoya. You deserve it, too,” she sniffled. “You both deserve to be loved the way Tamaki loved me. With all your hearts. Just give her a chance, Kyoya. Try to love her, or at least like her some. Being an Ootori shouldn’t be a nightmare for the girl.”

 

Kyoya pulled her back into another hug. “I promise, Haruhi. For you and Tamaki, I will try. Now will you go so I can get back to work?”

 

A small chuckle rose from her body. “Yes, doctor.” With that, Haruhi walked out of the conference room and out of the hospital, leaving Kyoya Ootori staring after her, astounded by her sheer will.  
  


 


	8. Host Club Holiday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

Christmas Day was here. This would be Haruhi's first Christmas without Tamaki. It would be everyone's first Christmas without him. After they had married, Tamaki and Haruhi mixed traditional winter festivities and western Christmas. They invited all the hosts' families to join in the celebration. They placed gifts under an enormous, elaborately decorated Christmas tree, sat around the kotatsu—which kept being extended—and generally had a wonderful time.

This one would be different. Haruhi was still going through with the Suoh tradition, but Suzume had informed Kyoya she wasn't looking forward to it as much as years past. No one would have thought less of her if she'd cancelled or asked someone else to have it. He'd only been gone seven months, but she wanted to keep some semblance of normalcy – both for herself and the children.

Kyoya gazed at his sleeping wife. He'd married her two months ago, but only just started really seeing her for who she was a month ago. Taking Haruhi's advice, he opened himself up to her little by little. She listened attentively and smiled freely. She was sincere in wanting to help others with psychological issues, which was pretty bold considering most Japanese, especially the rich, didn't consider her career choice to be a legitimate one. He hadn't either when he first learned it, but after seeing the progress Haruhi had made just by talking to Suzume, he thought maybe there was something to it.

His father had tried convincing him to demand she quit and become a housewife, but he defended her. He couldn't take away what happiness she got from her career. It would have been a waste of her talents. He put away his laptop, turned off his lamp, removed his glasses, and burrowed under the covers to encase his warm wife. He didn't love her, not yet, but he did feel some kind of affection for her.

* * *

 

The Ootoris stood outside Kawari in the biting cold. Kazuki pulled open the heavy door. Kyoya wondered where the staff was. Kazuki apparently didn't care he had to do such a menial job as greeting guests. He told them to put their own coats on the rack in the hallway. Odd, but they did as they were told. They followed him through the hallway and into the drawing room.

They were the last of the Host Club to arrive. Hikaru had brought a new date who looked incredibly uncomfortable. Though everyone assembled spoke English, most of the time they spoke Japanese when they were together, which usually made Hikaru's dates from the western world a little awkward. Kaoru sat next to them, conversing with Hikaru and ignoring his date. Mori held Kaoru's son, Toichi, and his own, Hiroki, who was whimpering with jealousy that his daddy was holding another baby. Hunny was trying to talk to Hiroki to cheer him up.

Fumiko, chased by Risa, grabbed Kazuki's hand and they all ran together.

"I guess we've lost our little Suoh host," Suzume giggled. "Where are all the ladies?"

"They're in the kitchen with Haruhi," Hunny answered, looking up from his cousin. Kyoya took a seat while Fumiko left to greet the ladies.

"This is different. Did I miss something?" Kyoya inquired.

"Haruhi wanted to do all the preparations herself. She's been working on this for days. She had to have the staff put up the tree and set up the kotatsu, but she's done all the decorating and cooking herself. She gave the staff the day off," Hikaru responded, "The ladies have been keeping her company, but I don't know how much help they've been. I think they are only helping by drinking all the sake and giggling."

"Haruhi probably prefers it that way," Hunny interjected.

"Yeah," stated Mori.

Everything was perfect. Haruhi had made all the western foods Tamaki ordered the chefs to prepare for Christmas: roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, green beans, pumpkin and pecan pies, and many other dishes. She was impressed she'd done it by herself. Her time spent in America and England had first introduced her to these Christmastime customs and foods. She had practiced making them before, but had never made them on this scale. She was proud of this accomplishment, hoping it all tasted as good as it looked. It had also kept her mind occupied.

Hayame, Hisa, and Suzume helped her serve the food at the kotatsu. Everyone ate and drank until they couldn't do so anymore. They laughed and enjoyed each other's company. No one spoke of Tamaki, but he was there, in the back of everyone's mind. He'd started this tradition, after all. Not just the Eastern/Western Christmas, but all of it. His idea for the Host Club had brought all of these people together.

At that thought, Haruhi's eyes were filled with tears. But for the first time in a long time, they weren't tears of grief. She was so thankful she'd been able to have him in her life. She had been so blessed to be loved by him.

"Mommy! Why are you crying?" Kazuki was looking at her, then everyone else's eyes were on her as well.

She wiped her tears and lifted her glass. "To Tamaki. Always loved, always missed. Without him, where would we be?"

Everyone else raised their glass and spoke in unison, "To Tamaki." They all drank. Haruhi hugged her son close.

During the gift-giving part of the celebration, the house was filled with sounds of children squealing in delight from all the gifts they'd received from their aunts and uncles from the Host Club. The adults watched in rapture, drinking in the pure joy of children opening gifts, though the baby was not happy the older children had woken him from his nap. The adults traded gifts as well, just as enthusiastically as the children, though not as loudly.

After the gifting, Haruhi began to clear the kotatsu. She needed to put away the leftovers she could salvage, and begin cleaning the kitchen as soon as her guests left. As she took some empty dishes away to the kitchen, the twins followed her. She sat the dishes on the counter near the sink, only to be accosted on both sides by the Hitachiins before she was able to turn around. Hikaru put his arm around her shoulders while Kaoru put his arm around her waist.  _Just like old times_.

"Haruhi, our toy, play with us."

_Perfect unison, never missing a beat, after all these years._

"I'm not your toy, and I haven't been for a very long time," she stated in a serious tone, ducking out from their sandwiching embrace.

"No fair. Of course you're still our toy. What would make you think otherwise?" Hikaru asked mischievously.

"You should go play with your wife and your girlfriend. Surely they want to be your toys."

"That's no fun, Haruhi. We want to play with you. We don't see you," Kaoru offered with a fake shy pout.

"I'm not fooled by that pout, Kaoru. What do you want?"

They wrapped themselves around her as before, and led her back to the drawing room with the others. The twins laughed, but did not tell her what they wanted. When they arrived, Hikaru's date looked around the room. No one else had a problem with them hanging all over the hostess, but she did. Her face was red, but she didn't say anything. She just glared at Hikaru and Haruhi.

"We want to play a game," the twins announced, again in unison. "The 'Let's Help Haruhi' game!" The announcement had caught the attention of all the guests.

"The objective is for Haruhi not to do anything else that could be seen as work today," stated Hikaru.

"Which means the rest of us will clean and take care of Haruhi for the rest of the day."

"Haruhi loses if she does anything to help us."

Haruhi groaned. Her kitchen staff would not thank her for letting the twins and the rest of the guys clean up her mess, especially her chef. Monte had shown her exactly how everything should be used, cleaned, and put away once she showed an interest in cooking her own food on occasion. She was going to look like she'd completely ignored all of his lessons. But everyone else cheered.

The only "work" she was allowed to do was to be with the children. Kazuki and Fumiko had long ago gone to his room to play with their new toys. Risa, now two, had cried herself to sleep outside her brother's bedroom door when he refused to let her in, telling her to go hang out with the babies. Haruhi moved her to her own room, and that's where she stayed. So, she was left alone with Mori's nine-month-old son and Kaoru's two-month-old son, not that she minded.

She never thought she was much of a 'kid-person' until she found out she was pregnant. She'd actually found out around Christmas. She and Tamaki had been married less than a year, and she was still working on her law degree at Tokyo University. She was terrified, but Tamaki was thrilled. She had been concerned about her workload and career, but Tamaki assured her she would have the best care and he would never let anything get in the way of her becoming a lawyer. As the delivery date drew closer, Tamaki had tried to convince Kyoya to make a trip back to Tokyo to be the one to deliver the baby. Kyoya, rightly so, refused the request. He was still at Harvard Business School earning his MD-MBA to become a doctor and hospital manager, and still had a long way to go in the program.

The pain of delivery hurt so much, more than she'd ever thought possible. But the elation she felt after the birth, holding her son, a tiny human created from the bond of two people who adored each other, made the pain all but disappear. And Tamaki's face was a sight to behold. It was the same one he had when he watched his mother's airplane, but at the same time, something so much more. As Kazuki grew older, Tamaki doted on him when he was home. Haruhi loosened up around children as well, learning how to coo and talk with them without feeling too silly.

Then Risa was born. As happy as Tamaki had been to have a son, he was equally ecstatic to finally have a real daughter since Haruhi had changed into something completely different. He took the time to dress her in adorable clothes and take lots of pictures. When she learned how to steady herself more, they had tea parties, and the laughter of children's laughter filled their home in France. She was his very own little princess.

The memories were bittersweet. Risa wouldn't remember her father like that. To her, he would be someone spoke about on occasion, and a picture in a frame, but not someone she knew. But these babies she was watching now, they didn't have any of that pain. She prayed they never would.

Two hours after the hosts and wives (and date) entered the kitchen, they returned to the drawing room completely disheveled. They found Haruhi asleep on the floor, both babies secure next to her, also sleeping. She looked so peaceful. The twins' game was totally worth it to them for Haruhi to have even a moment of peace.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter was more fluff than anything. I wanted a chapter with some twin hijinks, but I didn't want them to be overly destructive. They are semi-responsible adults now, after all. 

Thank you to all who continue to read and leave kudos.


	9. Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The new year passed with little change. Haruhi continued to work hard for Suoh Corp, making time to see her children whenever possible. She also continued to meet with Suzume, but less and less often as time progressed. She had her moments of despair on occasion, but they were less debilitating. She started taking time to make visits to her friends. Kazuki especially appreciated being able to play with Fumiko when they visited Hunny and Reiko.

 

Kyoya and Suzume spent more time together. There were times when she could even convince him to set aside his laptop to spend time with her. Haruhi noticed he smiled more often now, though he was a little distracted. Haruhi knew from years of experience that even though he was engaged in other activities, his brain was still working in the medical/business world, itching to get back to his laptop. But he made an effort, and she saw a change in Suzume as well. She wondered if Suzume knew she had interfered. It didn’t matter. Haruhi knew both of them deserved to find some amount of happiness in marriage.

 

Kaoru was always working on some design or another when she stopped in. He often asked her opinion, and then ignored her suggestions. He completely trusted his own instincts.

 

Hikaru was harder to track down. Since he was a photographer, he was always booked and travelling to one exotic locale or another, usually returning home only to edit his images before sending them off and heading to another shoot. He had pictures of famous people in his home. Most were pictures he took himself, but others were of him with the celebrity he’d obtained after the fact. He enjoyed Haruhi’s visits. He typically dropped everything to have a conversation with her. Since he didn’t have children, she didn’t bring hers. One time she did, and Risa was extremely vocal about how boring Hika-sama’s house was.

 

Mori lived on a farm outside the city, but the children loved the animals. In turn, he loved showing Kazuki and Risa the animals, letting them feed and ride some of them. His little Hiroki was starting to walk, and he followed the older children as fast as his little legs would take him.

 

At the end of May, Haruhi received an announcement from Kyoya and Suzume. They were expecting a child. The bundle of joy was expected to arrive in January. Haruhi called and wished them congratulations, but couldn’t help feeling a twinge of unpleasantness rising as she ended the call. _Will this feeling ever go away? What can I do to make this stop?_

 

She felt like her life had stalled. She pushed the feeling down, choosing to move on. How could she confide in Suzume that a part of her wasn’t happy for her because a tiny part of her wanted someone else to be as miserable as she was?

 

* * *

Kyoya dressed himself in a dark blue designer suit and styled his hair. He wanted to look his best. They were going out tonight, and he wanted it to be special. Suzume glided into their bedroom wearing a fitted periwinkle dress with a modest scoop neckline. Her hair was pulled up and decorated with little jewels. Her ears were adorned with long silver earrings.

 

“Happy anniversary, Kyoya,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

He planted a chaste kiss on her lips, “One year down. Happy anniversary, Suzume. We need to go.”

 

She pouted at him, but still released him and started walking toward the doorway. From behind, you wouldn’t even know she was six months pregnant. She turned to look at him, beckoning him to follow. How did he get this lucky? It only took a year, but maybe he was finally in love with his wife. It was all thanks to Haruhi. He made a mental note to thank her in some way for convincing him to give Suzume more of himself.

 

The young Ootori couple left their house and were driven to an Italian restaurant. Suzume had been craving pasta dishes lately, so this would be perfect. They dined in style, enjoying every bit of the food and drinking up each other’s company. Kyoya left a generous tip, then escorted his wife back to the car. It was on to the theater where they would see a popular play. It had taken Kyoya some effort to get the tickets for tonight – requiring multiple phone calls and calling in a favor or two – but watching her watch the play, he knew the effort had been worth it. How could life get any better than this?

 

She glanced at him while he was staring at her. Suzume grinned, kissed him, and turned back to the play while snuggling closer to him. _Is this what it feels like to be happy? To be in love? I could conquer the world with this woman._

 

 


	10. Birth of Bitterness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

Suzume screamed as another contraction wracked her body. Kyoya could hear her from the hallway. He had brought her to an Ootori private clinic because it was closer than the University Hospital where he worked, and because he felt she would receive the best care possible. She was bringing the next generation of Ootori into the world, after all. Kyoya sent a group message to the Host Club.

 

**She’s in labor. I’m going to be a dad before the day is through.**

  
He didn’t even care if they thought he was excited about this. He was more excited about the prospect of having a child than anything else in his life. They’d decided not to find out if it was a boy or girl, and he wasn’t allowed in the delivery room, so he waited.

 

Kyoya was not a patient man, and his wife’s screams of pain were not helping. He wanted nothing more than to be with her. He lamented that he hadn’t taken her to the University Hospital. He would have been allowed in the delivery room there.

 

She had gone into labor in the wee hours of the morning. It had been six hours and she was still struggling to bring forth his child. He had brought his laptop to try to get some work done, but he couldn’t focus. Instead, he sat in the waiting room, wringing his hands. His knuckles were white with the tension he placed on them. From time to time, he would pace up and down the hallway. This could be another ten hours or more. First time births were difficult, and Suzume had such a tiny frame.

 

Another hour passed, and a team of doctors rushed down the hallway, past him, into his wife’s room. Something was wrong. He tried stopping someone, but they just told him to stay put. He asked at the nurse’s station, but they didn’t have any information. Kyoya stood in the middle of the hallway, staring at the door to his wife’s room. He didn’t hear her scream again.

 

* * *

 

 

Mori was the first to arrive at the clinic. He liked to be the first one to visit new parents. He easily found his friend, but he was not the Kyoya he had expected. What he expected to find was a jubilant new father. What he found was a shell of a man, pale, disheveled, and staring into space. Kyoya didn’t even register anyone who passed him or Mori standing next to him.

 

“Kyoya.” When Kyoya didn’t respond, Mori went to the nurse’s station.

 

“Dr. Ootori is a friend. What happened?”

 

An older woman with a tag that indicated she was the head nurse responded. “Oh, it is so sad. The baby was coming at an odd angle, but his wife refused a C-section. She lost too much blood and didn’t make it. She passed shortly after the baby finally came out. But the little girl had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. The doctors tried to revive her, but her brain had been deprived of oxygen for too long. She died about an hour ago.

 

No wonder Kyoya was despondent. He hardly knew how to put it into words, but just made it simple. He texted the others in the group.

  
**Complications during childbirth. Suzume and daughter didn’t make it.**

 

* * *

 

Three days after he lost his wife and child, Kyoya was forced to attend their funeral. It was to be a Buddhist ceremony, so it had to take place quickly. He hadn’t made any of the arrangements. Her parents, though distraught, made all the calls and set everything up. They didn’t make him attend the wake the day before, but Kyoya was still expected to go to the funeral. He didn’t want to face anyone though.

 

So many thoughts ran through his mind. _Was there anything he could have done to change this? What if he had taken her to the University Hospital? What if he had been allowed to be in the room and could have convinced her to do a C-section? This kind of thing isn’t supposed to happen, especially at an Ootori clinic. These private clinics were supposed to be top-notch. Of all the people to receive underwhelming care at this kind of facility, it certainly shouldn’t be a member of the family who owns it!_

 

The funeral was a blur. Kyoya didn’t pay attention to who was there or who spoke to him. He was vaguely aware that all his friends were there, but he never said a word to anyone. He had been crushed when his best friend died nearly two years ago, but this devastated him in a way he had never known. He had just started to love the woman he married, just began making a life with her, and there was no doubt he loved the baby she carried the second he found out about it.

 

After the funeral had cleared out, Kyoya remained in the temple alone. He just sat there staring, not believing this was his life. What had his life become? What was this emptiness? This pain? Haruhi sat next to him. Her eyes were red. She’d been crying.

 

_That’s right. Suzume was friends with Haruhi. She helped her._

 

It was a fleeting thought. Kyoya made no move to comfort her. It was his turn to be in mourning. She was saying something, but he wasn’t listening. He was in a world of his own thoughts, turning the same questions over and over, trying to look at all the angles. It just shouldn’t have happened! His own helplessness incensed him.

 

“...she helped me so much. You can survive this, and I can help you like she helped me.” Haruhi was telling him.

 

“This was your fault.”

 

“Kyoya?” Those were the first words he’d said all day.

 

He turned his head to look at her, his eyes clearly visible behind his glasses. There was a wild fury in his eyes that frightened her. He stood and turned to look down upon Haruhi sitting next to the empty space where he had been seated. “This is your fault. You’re the one who encouraged me to care about her. You wanted us to be close.” His voice was getting louder the more he spoke, raw emotion escaping his usually masked voice. “I needed to open up to her because we both deserved to be happy, right? I didn’t want to care. It was just supposed to be business. You even used Tamaki to persuade me. Tell me, how did I benefit from caring about her?” he bellowed.

 

“You were happy, Kyoya. I saw it myself. You can’t tell me you weren’t. You benefited because she made you happier than anyone’s ever seen you. It’s not like I knew _this_ would happen.”

 

“Happiness is overrated,” he scoffed. “I could have spent my whole life not caring about her and if this was still meant to happen, I could have moved on with my life. But now, what am I supposed to do now?”

 

“I know how angry you are, I’ve been there. But please…”

 

“ _You_ know how angry I am? Have you lost a spouse _and_ a child at the same time? A spouse who you weren’t even supposed to love and a child you never even got a chance to meet?”

 

Kyoya’s tone was starting to irk Haruhi. She knew she had to choose her own words and tone carefully. She didn’t know exactly what he was going through because her situation was different, but she had a better idea than any of his other friends. How could she vocalize her thoughts rationally to someone who was outside his right mind with grief? She stood and her gaze directly met his eyes.

“I haven’t been through the same experiences, but similar. And I know better about some of these things than our other friends. I’ve dealt with the grief and the anger and…”

 

Kyoya laughed. “You’ve dealt with your grief and anger? You’re ridiculous.” He had reclaimed the normal calm in his voice, but it dripped with disdain. “You hate when anyone else is happy. If someone else is married or successful in their career or has a new baby, you cringe. You put on a smiling face to make it less awkward, but you resent your friends’ happiness! And you still dream about Tamaki, don’t you? You still wake up crying, screaming his name.” Losing his composure again, he roared, “You still wear your damn wedding ring! You’re not married anymore, Haruhi!. He’s gone!”

 

Why was he making it so difficult for her to reach out? In her own grief, she wasn’t as level-headed as she once was, and it was hard to contain the enmity building inside. _Had Suzume repeated her confessions to Kyoya? Weren’t those supposed to be private?_ Haruhi couldn’t hold back her tears and frustration anymore. She pushed him.

 

She held her head high as he stumbled backward a bit. Her voice was cool. “Maybe a part of me does resent the happiness of others, but I want to be happy for them. At least I make some effort, no matter how difficult it is. And I do dream about Tamaki and I know he’s gone. I don’t know what you’re going through, but mine is worse. I chose Tamaki because I loved him and we were supposed to be together forever. We wanted more children and to take Suoh Corp to a whole new level. We were supposed to raise our family and grow old together, watching our children marry and have their own children, then we would turn into doting grandparents.”

 

Haruhi began losing her composure. Her face was hot with indignation and her voice cracked as she raised its tone in her attempt to hold back more tears. “But fate robbed us of the world we dreamed and stole my children’s father from them. My daughter doesn’t even remember Tamaki. You lost a wife you didn’t love and a daughter you never met. You can still go out and get a new wife and have a million baby Ootoris! If you loved her, that was a new development. It’s not the same and you know it.”

 

Haruhi knew she had overstepped, but the words were already out of her mouth.

 

The fire in his eyes hardened to ice and narrowed. “How dare you insult my relationship with Suzume. If you hadn’t convinced me to give her the chance to love me, I could have gotten past this easily. That’s not the case now.”

 

“Kyoya, I’m s…”

 

“Get out,” Kyoya growled in a low, ominous tone.

 

Haruhi looked up at him defiantly, trying to withstand the wrath of the Shadow King only to prove she still wanted to be there for him. She had crossed a line, but he’d crossed one, too, hadn’t he?

“Out!” he howled.

 

Unable to hold out any longer, Haruhi turned and ran out of the temple and didn’t look back. Meanwhile, Kyoya collapsed onto a chair, sobbing uncontrollably, alone in a sea of white floral arrangements and burning incense.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was a tough chapter to write and post. Suzume and baby's fates and Kyoya's pain (and subsequent lashing-out at Haruhi) were difficult, but necessary for the progression of the story.   
  


 


	11. A Birthday Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the twins' birthday and the entire club is invited to their party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.
> 
> Also, big time jump here. 

Haruhi still couldn't believe Kyoya's nerve. It had been nearly a year and half since she and Kyoya had their screaming match, but it still peeved her when she thought about it. But the irritation was always followed by a wave of regret. She hated whatever they were now. She'd tried calling and leaving him messages, but he never answered or returned her calls, and he had absented himself from group gatherings if he thought she would make an appearance.

With Suzume gone, she had no one to talk to, either. She considered locating another therapist, but she didn't want to take the time and trouble to build rapport with someone new. Plus, she'd have to go through the trauma of retelling the details about Tamaki. She was sure someone new would want to focus on her loss rather than her fight with Kyoya. She had even tried venting to Reiko and Hayame during a luncheon, but both women made it clear they would not take sides. None of the former hosts or their spouses would take sides between Haruhi and Kyoya.

Instead of finding someone to confide in, Haruhi resorted to burying herself in work. She knew it was a bad habit, but she didn't know how else to cope. In the short time Haruhi had known her, Suzume had become her rock. Now that rock had been washed away by a cruel twist of fate. It wasn't long before she'd isolated herself almost completely. Her eating and sleeping habits suffered, and her nightmares returned.

Life for the other former hosts, however, had been most eventful. A toy Hunny had designed hit the shelves and became the most in-demand product for children of all ages. He and Reiko added another little girl to their family in February. They called her Sachika and six-year-old Fumiko was over the moon about having a baby sister.

Mori successfully sued another company for copying one of Hunny's car designs, and also announced he and Hisa were expanding their family; the new baby was due in September.

One of Hikaru's photos ended up on the cover of a prestigious fashion magazine.

Kaoru's spring line was a smash, and his facilities could barely keep up with the production demand of a fashion trend set by the designer himself.

No one would tell Haruhi what Kyoya was up to, but she could imagine his life looked a lot like her own, though without the saving grace of having children.

Though the twins each owned their own homes and condos around the world, the Hitachiin manor was their central hub when they wanted to throw a joint 31st birthday party. Their parents rarely spent time there, and tonight would be no exception, even if it was the twins' birthday. The twins preferred it this way. This annual party wasn't a soiree full of fashion insiders and starlets, but an intimate gathering of their closest friends from their high school years.

As she prepared herself for the evening, she pondered what she would say to him. She knew he'd be there. He hadn't contacted her, so she assumed he was still angry. Haruhi hoped they could get through tonight without making the evening awkward for everyone else. She wore a simple navy cocktail dress with low black heels. Her hair and nails were tidy, her makeup light, though she'd made an extra effort to conceal the dark circles under her eyes. Haruhi looked at herself approvingly in the full length mirror in her bedroom. Then she shook her head and sighed inwardly, thinking about how she looked when she'd first met the hosts.  _I've come so far._ She grabbed her black beaded handbag on her way out the door.

Haruhi was admitted into the manor by the butler, who knew her by name. She handed off her gifts and quickly located the twins in the ballroom, hugging each of them and wishing them Happy Birthday. Mori and Hisa were already there as well. Hisa struggled to stand to hug Haruhi due to her swollen abdomen. This pregnancy was more demanding than her first. Haruhi gestured for Hisa to remain seated and instead bent down to embrace her.

She grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing server, and held conversation with Hayame, Mori, his wife, and the twins as they all sat on chaise lounges strategically arranged by the fireplace. Hunny and Reiko arrived about twenty minutes after her and easily blended into the ongoing conversation. Haruhi was starting to feel hungry, but she knew they would wait for Kyoya.

Kyoya finally graced the party with his presence about half an hour after Hunny had arrived. He looked terrible. His eyes looked sunken and dark, like he hadn't been sleeping. His stature looked more emaciated than thin, like he hadn't been eating.  _Is that how I looked after Tamaki? No wonder everyone was concerned about me._  The air in the room grew tense as Kyoya joined those seated, greeting everyone personally except for Haruhi. He wouldn't even look at her, as if she didn't exist.

A maid entered the room to announce dinner was served. The friends made their way to the formal dining room. The room was tastefully decorated. Though the twins would have had ridiculous birthday decorations around the dining room if they'd had the party at one of their own homes, even they didn't dare bedeck their mother's impeccably decorated dining room with garish trimmings.

As the group sat down at the table to eat, Kyoya made sure to sit as far away from Haruhi as possible. His intentional snubs irritated her, but also made her feel sad for him. He was still hurting and probably not confiding in anyone. It just wasn't in his nature to let people in.

The night wore on with an awkward tension, though not bad as it could've been if Kyoya had chosen not to ignore Haruhi, but instead restart their fight afresh. Haruhi built up her courage on two separate occasions after dinner to walk up and speak to him, but he'd noticed each time she began to draw near and walked away to another part of the room, to another guest, to avoid her. Defeated by his stubbornness and her own mental exhaustion, Haruhi gave up any more attempts at reconciliation, for this night at least. Only three hours after he'd arrived, Kyoya made his apologies to the twins and dismissed himself from the party.

"Give him some time," Hikaru said in a low voice behind her.

She turned to speak directly to him and sighed. "I know. I just wish I could take it back."

"None of us know what happened between the two of you, which is okay by us. It makes it easier to not choose sides if we don't know the details. But it's done now. And we're all still here for both of you."

Haruhi just gave him a small smile.

"Will you come outside with me?"

"Sure, Hikaru. What's going on?" He led her out onto the patio. It was a beautiful June night. The sky was clear and there were so many stars.

"I have a birthday wish," he said with a sheepish grin.

"I brought a gift for you. It's…"

"Thanks, but it's not something you can buy. I'd like to take you on a date, Haruhi."

She was speechless. She hadn't seriously considered moving on romantically from Tamaki. She'd assumed she was done with all of that. Perhaps she was being naive. She was still young and successful, and now affluent. She was an eligible bachelorette of society.

So many questions running through her mind, she just stared at him.

_What?_

_Am I ready to date?_

_If I am ready, do I want to date Hikaru?_

_Is this why he didn't have a date tonight?_

_Was this planned?_

_Was Hikaru ready to deal with her baggage?_

_Was this a big joke?_

But Hikaru wasn't laughing. He was intently staring at her face, a degree of anxiety written across his features. She'd seen this look before, on their class ski trip when he admitted he loved her.  _Does he still love me?_

"You need some time to think about this. I've already made reservations at a restaurant Saturday night, but they can be cancelled. Just let me know in the next few days." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, then strolled back inside.

Haruhi put her hand to the cheek he'd kissed and watched him walk away.  _Surely not. Not after all this time, right?_


	12. From Friend to Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi agrees to go on a date with Hikaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

When she arrived home, she rushed straight to Tamaki's shrine. The room smelled of roses and tears. Hikaru's request boggled her fragile mind.

What was she supposed to do?

When she turned him down before, she was in love with Tamaki, though she hadn't acknowledged it or even understood it yet. But Tamaki had been gone for three years. She considered Hikaru, without Tamaki as context.

He was so much different than his teenage self. He was a busy, responsible, well-travelled man. He was worldly, experienced, and attractive. He'd been with so many other women. What made him want to pursue her when he could date anyone else? Her head was spinning in frustration as she sprawled herself before the shrine.

                                                                                                     ***

Haruhi woke with a start. She was still laying in front of Tamaki's shrine. She didn't know if she was ready to date again, but she was determined to give it a try. She couldn't see a future with Hikaru, or anyone else for that matter, and sincerely hoped he would forgive her if it didn't work out. Before she changed her mind, she grabbed her phone from her handbag and called Hikaru. It rang several times before transferring to voicemail. She hung up and tried again. He picked up up on the third ring and her heart jumped in her throat.

"Haruhi? It's not even 7:00," he grumbled groggily.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't look at the time. Do you want me to call later?"

"No, no. I'm up. I'm here. For you." She could hear him shifting positions.

She smiled to herself. "I just wanted to tell you I'll be there Saturday. For our date. I just need to know the time and place of the reservations."

"Really? You're sure?"

"Yes, really. And no, I'm not completely sure. But you should give me the information before I change my mind. I promise I'll be there." He gave her the details, and when they disconnected the call, they each smiled on their own end.

Hikaru called his twin, who he knew would be awake. Between the demands of Kaoru's career and family, he had become quite the morning person.

"Why are  _you_  calling so early, Hikaru? Did something happen?" Kaoru asked, distracted by a crying Toichi in the background.

"I'm going on a date Saturday."

"So what? You go on dates all the time." Hikaru could practically hear the eye roll over the phone line.

"It's with Haruhi."

Kaoru was silent for a few minutes. Hikaru knew his call hadn't been disconnected because he could hear Hayame explaining to Toichi that he could not eat his oatmeal from the dog's bowl and the toddler whimpering.

"Kaoru?"

"I'm here, processing. Are you sure you want to start this?"

"Why wouldn't I? I've loved her for years. No other woman could compare."

"Right, I know. But I don't think her feelings are the same as yours, even with Milord gone. I'm worried you'll get hurt all over again. She may not mean to, but chances are, she will hurt you."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

"She's not the same as she was either. You haven't been around as much as the rest of us because of all the travelling you do. She works so much trying to manage what she can for Suoh Corp, but it's a big job Yuzuru-san placed on her shoulders, considering she hasn't had any formal training. She doesn't laugh as easily as before, either. Then there's Kyoya. The fallout there, whatever was said and done after Suzume died, that weighs on her as well. And you'll have to manage them. And she has kids. You've never dated anyone with kids…"

"Okay, stop. I called to tell you good news and you're just trying to find ways to turn it on its head. Maybe I can be the one to get her to take some time for herself. Maybe I can make her smile more. Maybe she can love me. Don't ruin this for me."

"I don't want to ruin it. I just want you to be ready for what you're about to get yourself into. Those waters are deeper than any you've ever swam."

* * *

The days seemed to fly and Saturday had arrived. Haruhi hadn't spoken to Hikaru since she called to confirm their date. She had been busy with work and assumed he'd been likewise occupied. The anticipation had been building all week, and had nearly reached fever pitch. She couldn't focus on anything productive, so she opted not to work today.

Instead of working, she spent her morning and early afternoon with her children. Haruhi enjoyed playing soldiers in Kazuki's bedroom blanket fort, then having a tea party with Risa, Beary, and her other dolls. The children were growing so fast and she'd missed so much of it. Kazuki would be six next month and Risa would be four in October. Risa still carried Beary everywhere with her, though she didn't remember who gave her the old teddy bear.

Hikaru was picking her up at 6:00, so she returned to her room to prepare around 3:30. The dinner reservations he'd made were at one of the fanciest restaurants in Tokyo, so she had to give herself plenty of time. She showered and dried her hair. Leaving it down, she put a few curls in her brown locks and sprayed them in place. She applied makeup from a more dramatic color palette than she usually used. In her closet, a dress from Kaoru's spring collection was hanging in a bag.

She donned the fuchsia gown with thin straps and crystal beading on the bodice. For accessories, she chose a white silk shawl, silver open-toed heels, a silver handbag, and ruby and silver dangly earrings. She looked in the mirror.  _I still clean up nicely, but this isn't me._  For the finishing touch, she removed her wedding band and placed it gingerly in her jewelry box. Her hand felt strange without it; she kept running her thumb across the indentation the ring had left after residing there for eight years.

The doorbell rang. A quick glance at her bedside clock proved Hikaru had arrived right on time. She took a deep breath and left to descend the stairs. Hikaru was already in the foyer, allowed in by one of the servants on duty tonight. His jaw visibly dropped as he saw her on the staircase. Haruhi giggled lightly. It had been a long time since someone had looked at her like that.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was smiling. She put a finger under Hikaru's chin and pushed his mouth closed. Hikaru opened the door and gestured for Haruhi to go first. She did so and could feel his eyes watching her walk away. He easily caught up with her and opened the door to the back of the limo. Hikaru could be a gentleman when he wanted. He entered the limo from the opposite side. Conversation was kept light on their way to the restaurant.

At their destination, Hikaru opened her door for her. They were seated immediately in a private half-moon booth in a back corner of the restaurant. Large windows overlooked the city and she could see a park just below. Soft overhead lighting and candles on the tables cast a romantic mood over the entirety of the upscale eatery.

Hikaru ordered a bottle of wine for them to share. He barely looked at their server as he made their food requests, his focus was almost completely on his date. For him, no one else existed tonight.

Haruhi was so nervous. She'd never really dated before. Tamaki had taken her on dates, but not until they were already in a relationship. This was a date to see if they wanted to be in a relationship beyond friendship. Completely different.

"You look incredible tonight, Haruhi. I don't think I've told you that yet."

"Not in so many words, but thank you," she smiled warmly, recalling the look on his jaw-dropped face when she came downstairs, "I should though. This is a Hitachiin original."

"The dress only enhances the beauty of the woman inside."

"Stop it," she blushed. The notorious playboy photographer Hikaru Hitachiin was using lines on her. She knew he had some up his sleeve, but never expected him to use them on her. She didn't know how she felt about it.

Though they'd known each other since high school, they'd drifted apart as they grew older and weren't as close as they once were. So, they spent most of the evening catching up in a more in-depth manner than most parties would allow. She told him the time she spent in America was an experience which really opened her eyes. It inspired her to continue her studies abroad, leading to her choice of Oxford for her undergraduate degree. Because of her desire to practice law in Japan, she'd transferred to the University of Tokyo. When she ended up practicing law in France, her pre-law studies at Oxford made her feel better prepared for the French bar exam.

Hikaru explained he and Kaoru always wanted to follow their mother into the fashion world, so they both chose the Royal College of Art. During their freshman year, their interests diverged. Hikaru didn't have the patience to stick with the entire process of putting together a fashion line. Photography appealed to him because it was fast-paced, but still artistic. A career in photography would allow him to travel and meet new people. He found the subject matter absolutely fascinating, engrossed himself in the study, and excelled to the point that he'd already made a name for himself well before he graduated. He was hired by a top agency, and after two years, had broken into the freelance market where he could have more artistic control.

The conversation eventually veered to their friends as they reminisced and discussed how far they'd all come. They recalled how surprised they'd been upon learning Hunny was transferring to MIT in the middle of his freshman year at Ouran University, leaving Mori alone to complete his education without his cousin. Though Mori's choice to work protecting Hunny's intellectual property was not a shock, his move to a large farm outside the city was. Neither mentioned Tamaki attending the University of Tokyo or Kyoya's time at Harvard and their subsequent careers.

During dessert, the topic of kids arose. Hikaru remarked that he doted on little Toichi whenever he could, spoiling him to no end. He knew it made Kaoru and Hayame's attempts to discipline their child someone ineffective, but he could not help himself. Haruhi laughed and smiled at the stories he told about his nephew. He was a good uncle, but Kaoru would get him back if he ever had kids of his own. She got the chance to boast about her own children. Kazuki was at the top of his elementary class at Ouran Academy, while Risa was already reading short children's books, mostly to her dolls, but it was pretty advanced and absolutely adorable.

Hikaru continued to open and close doors for her as they left the restaurant. In the limo, he sat closer to her than he did on their way to the restaurant. He smelled so good.

"This has been a good date, right?"

"Yes, it has."

"I'm not sure I want this night to end, Haruhi."

She leaned her head against his shoulder. He held her hand in his, brushing the smooth skin on the back of her hand with his thumb. They rode together just like this until they arrived at Kawari. He opened the door for her once more, helped her out of the limo, and walked her to the door.

"Haruhi, I think we should do this, or something like this, again, sometime soon."

She looked into his eyes. He was so sincere right now. Tonight was definitely not a joke to him. This was serious, but she didn't yet know how serious.

"I agree. On one condition. You're not allowed to use any of those cheesy lines on me. I want you to be honest with me always. You don't ever have to try to be someone you're not."

"Agreed." He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. But he lingered, his face close to hers. Her dark brown eyes deeply looking into the depths of his amber ones. He couldn't figure out the emotions he was seeing, and he wanted to kiss her. Really kiss her.

"Hikaru," she whispered breathily, tilting her head back ever so slightly.

That was all the invitation he needed. His left hand rested on her waist, while his right hand held her cheek, tilting her face in exactly the right position. Then, gently, his lips met hers. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before they pulled away, but they didn't go far. She had a playful smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around his torso, then stood on her tiptoes to press her lips against his, harder than the first kiss. The second kiss quickly moved from chaste to something more intimate. Hikaru pressed Haruhi against her front door, deepening the kiss, then moving down to her neck, then back to her lips.

Haruhi ended the kiss, breathing heavily.

"We have to stop."

"Do we?"

"Yeah, we do," she whispered as she straightened herself. She lifted her hand to caress his cheek. "Send me the details of our next date." He leaned in to kiss her again, which she allowed, but it was only a quick peck.

"Good night, Hikaru."

"Good night, Haruhi."

She went in the house and he watched her until the door was closed.


	13. Big Brother Mori

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club

Haruhi's face was flushed, her breathing heavy, and her body warm with a sensation she hadn't felt in years as she shut the door on her date. This night had been wonderful. The way he looked at her made her brain go hazy. The touch of her hand in his sent shivers up her spine. And his kiss! The kisses on the cheek could have been construed as affectionate friendship, but the ones shared at the door were more than that. It was like some dormant beast had awoken within her, one filled with passion and yearning and long-forgotten desire.

Leaning her body against the interior of the front door, grinning and warm, a new beast was born within Haruhi. This one was made of guilt and feelings of betrayal. She gasped in horror at the sudden discovery of this new creature, ashamed of herself, tears rapidly filling her eyes. She fell to her knees and sobbed, covering her face with her hands. Haruhi berated herself.  _I am not just some ordinary single woman in society who can go off galavanting with charming men. I am Tamaki Suoh's widow!_

She had the overwhelming urge to call someone. She ruled out Kaoru for obvious reasons and assumed Kyoya wouldn't care or come to her aid if she reached out. She knew Hunny had left earlier in the week to do a surprise inspection of one of his production warehouses. So, it had to be Mori, but he wasn't in the city. She could try, though. The worst he could do was say no, right?

She extracted her phone from her handbag and began a message to Mori.

**Can you come? I need**

She couldn't articulate the words. What did she need? She collapsed back to the floor, unable to move or understand what was wrong with her and what had happened to her life. She didn't even cry this time. She just laid on the cold marble floor of her foyer, staring at nothing, numb.

Some time later, the front door hit hit her foot. Haruhi absently pulled her leg towards her body and allowed Mori to enter her home. She shifted her blurred gaze to his face, but stared at him blankly.  _How did he know to come?_

"I got your message."

_I didn't send a message._ Her phone was lying under her. She pulled it from under her. The message she had been composing to send to Mori was gone. She flipped through the history and saw it was sent unfinished, just as she'd left it.  _When did I do that?_  She looked back up at Mori, eyes narrowing.

"How did you get here so fast?"

"I was already in town. I had a meeting with a client." A lie, the first he'd ever told her.

"I didn't mean to pull you away. You should go back. I'm fine."

"No. I was done. You're not fine," he stated firmly. He lifted her from the floor and placed her feet on the ground so she could stand. Her legs felt like they weren't going to hold her, but she led him to the library in silence.

"Would you like some tea? I can make us some."

"No, thank you."

"Have you eaten? There's probably something in the kitchen I can put together for you."

"No, thank you."

"Do you want something stronger than tea? Sake or…"

"Haruhi. You had a date tonight."

"How do you know about that?" she asked, taken aback that Mori knew. She sat next to him on the sofa.

"Hikaru told me." Truth.

"Oh." Haruhi looked down at her hands. She was rubbing the place her wedding band should have been.

"Did something happen?"

"Like what? Do you think Hikaru hurt me?" A small chuckle left her lips. "What happened was he was a perfect gentleman, charming even. The date was great. The conversation was never lacking or dull and the food was delicious. The goodnight kiss was electrifying."

Mori's eyes widened at the shock of that last detail.  _That was fast_. But he knew it was a possibility Hikaru would go too far for Haruhi tonight. That was the real reason he was in the city tonight. He knew if Haruhi had a breakdown, she would call him. She had never done so before, but he knew she would eliminate the other possibilities quickly. Being around Kyoya had rubbed off on him some.

"I enjoyed myself. I had fun. I laughed. I was a new Haruhi, except I was more like I was before… I was fine until Hikaru left."

She wanted so much to maintain her strong front, but the look of understanding in his eyes broke her. More tears welled in her eyes. Once she started, she couldn't stop them any more now than she ever could. Mori put a supportive arm around her and let her cry.

After some time, her crying reduced to sniffles, but Mori still held her in his comforting silence. The little composure she gained was fragile, but it was enough for her to speak again.

"I just feel so guilty, like I'm betraying Tamaki and his memory. Maybe if the date had gone badly, or if I wasn't attracted to Hikaru, it wouldn't bother me so much. But everything was so wonderful tonight. I  _wanted_  Hikaru and, for a short time, I forgot about Tamaki and all my responsibilities. When I did remember, it was too much. It's all so overwhelming and I don't know what's right anymore."

"You are not betraying Tamaki. He would want you to be happy."

"Not with Hikaru. Believe it or not, he was worried when we started dating so many years ago that Hikaru was his biggest rival. A part of him was paranoid he'd take me away. And now, maybe his worst fear is being realized."

Mori knew about Tamaki's initial weariness of Hikaru's interest in Haruhi, but it disappeared once they all went to different universities. No one in their group could have truly rivaled Tamaki in Haruhi's heart, though he had reason to be suspicious. Mori, himself, had a small crush on her when she first joined the Host Club, but reasoned that it was just an infatuation. He was correct. Haruhi was cute, but not really his type. Hunny had a similar attraction to her as well, but came to see her more as a little sister.

Kaoru had loved her, but he made way for Hikaru's interests and ended up a close friend. Kyoya never said one way or the other, but his actions showed he deeply cared for Haruhi, even after high school.

"You're being irrational. Regardless of who you date, Tamaki's only wish would be for you to be happy and smile. The only way to betray Tamaki is to use him as an excuse not to be happy or move forward with your life."

"Mori?"

"If Hikaru makes you happy, makes you smile, then Tamaki would approve. If Hikaru does not make you happy, end it. Either way, Tamaki's memory is honored every time you smile or laugh."

Haruhi knew he was right. She was being irrational. Of course Tamaki would want her to move on, even if it was with Hikaru. Did Hikaru make her smile? He did. Did Hikaru make her happy? She'd just have to give him a chance to find out.

"Thank you. I think I want to continue dating Hikaru. He does make me smile and laugh. I want to see where this can go."

"Good." Mori hugged her close to him once more.

She offered to let him sleep in a guest bedroom and he accepted. It was late, and her guest bedroom would be more comfortable than the hotel room he'd book, if only because it was more familiar. They parted ways to go to their separate rooms. Mori didn't have any clothes with him, so he stripped to his boxer briefs and got into the king-sized bed. He turned the night over in his head many times over.

He picked his phone up from the nightstand and called Hikaru.

"Mori. Did you call about my date? It was the best first date I could have hoped for. She was stunning and charming. I wasn't sure she'd be ready to go on a date, but I'm glad I made my move."

"Be careful, Hikaru."

"What?"

"She's not the girl she was. You have to be careful with her and with yourself."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Tonight, she was exactly the girl she was in high school, except somehow more beautiful."

"Hikaru…"

"Thanks for the advice, Mori. But I think I can handle this on my own."

Mori was just holding his phone to his ear. He set his phone back down on the nightstand and sighed.

Mori just couldn't see how this could possibly end well. Hikaru was too focused on how happy he was and Ouran Academy Haruhi. While Haruhi needed someone who understood her grief, her pain, who could be there for her whenever called. She'd been drowning, but Suzume had given her a life raft.

Her death had popped a hole in that raft and now Haruhi was struggling to keep her head above water. Hikaru might help for a bit, but he would get bored and irritated if she couldn't let go of Tamaki long enough to make room in her heart for someone else. If she even let it get that far. He tossed and turned, but eventually fell asleep, silently cursing the mechanical failure that ended Tamaki's life and complicated all of their lives so completely.


	14. The Fallen Ootori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoya has been touring U.S. medical facilities and runs into an unexpected person who offers him a little bit of perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

Kyoya had expected mid-August in California to be hotter than this, but it was mild compared to his previous stops. Tokyo was always miserable around this time, especially in the city, and most of the other cities on this trip had been scorching. He had travelled from the east coast, starting at New York Presbyterian. He had visited Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, Brigham & Women's Hospital and Massachusetts General in Boston, Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, Northwest Memorial in Chicago, Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis, the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, and Houston Methodist in Texas. San Francisco's UCSF Medical Center was his last stop on his three week American hospital tour, where he and a handful of colleagues were attending meetings and touring facilities to get some ideas on how to improve medical care at Ootori clinics, especially diagnostics and procedures for labor and delivery. He didn't want anyone else to experience what he had in January.

Upon entering the hospital with his colleagues and bodyguards, he was led to the office of Dr. Dennis Hollander, the chief of medicine. The rest of the group remained in the lobby. Dr. Hollander seemed to be a jovial older man, considering he carried the weight of an entire hospital on his shoulders. His office was decorated with degrees, awards, and artwork. They quickly went over the purpose of the tour, and then he apologized he wouldn't be the one to go with them.

"I had every intention of leading you around, but alas, it cannot be. But I have tapped one of our promising department managers to show you around." There was a light knock on the office door. "Ah. That's him now, punctual as ever. Come in, come in!"

Kyoya turned as the door opened to see who his escort would be. While he didn't have any expectations about who this mystery manager would be, the person who stood before his genuinely shocked him.

"Akito?" Kyoya whispered.

His older brother was just as dumbfounded as he was. Both men had a difficult time concealing their surprise in those first few moments, but pulled themselves together.

"So you do know each other? I hand-picked Dr. Ootori here to escort you. Ootori is just such an an uncommon name, potentially a familial tie, and I thought you could bond over the possible connection," the chief of medicine boasted proudly. He obviously didn't know how closely he and Akito were already connected.

"This way, if you will, Dr. Ootori," beckoned Akito. Kyoya followed his elder brother into the hallway.

"Dr. Hollander did not tell me the name of his guest, Kyoya. But please, allow me to be your guide and we can discuss more personal matters at a later time."

Kyoya agreed to the request. They went to the lobby to gather the rest of his colleagues and toured the facility. The tour was fairly uneventful, though Kyoya made plenty of notes. Though the childbirth mortality rate in Japan was significantly lower than that of the United States, American research and application were more cutting-edge than anything in Japan, and particularly more than the Ootori-owned private clinics. He meant to change that. Getting out of the country for a while didn't hurt, either.

The estranged brothers and accompanying group completed their tour after three hours. Kyoya wondered why Akito didn't have any patients to attend, or why he hadn't been paged, but he thought it best not to mention at this time. They ended back in the lobby. He stiffly thanked Dr. Ootori for his time and was about to leave, even though he wanted to say so much.

"Kyoya, wait." Akito was addressing him in Japanese, which was unexpected considering the setting, but not unwelcome. Kyoya motioned for the rest of the group to continue without him; he was taking a separate car anyway. He turned back to his brother. "I would like the chance to catch up with you. Will you join me for dinner tonight?"

"My flight doesn't leave until late tomorrow morning, so I don't see any harm in having dinner. Here's my number. Call or text me the time and place and I will meet you there."

* * *

Kyoya's driver dropped him at a small restaurant decorated with a couple of small palm trees. As he walked into the establishment, he noted the cheap decor: generic mass-produced artwork, plastic flowers, and string lights along the walls. He sneered inwardly, disgusted his brother would deign to set foot in this place, let alone dine here. He told the overly perky hostess who he was meeting and she led the way to a table next to a picture window, practically bouncing the whole way.  _These were the best seats he could get?_  He sat across from Akito and greeted him coldly.

Akito must have read his mind. "I know this place doesn't exactly meet your standards, but the food here is excellent and the service exquisite, both of which are more important than the high-class glitz and glamour you're used to. Plus, I don't have the connections I once had. The Ootori name doesn't command as much respect here as you'd think."

The food and service were great, despite the kitsch, so Akito had been right about that. The drinks they were served were also strong, which relaxed some of the tension. Akito wanted to know about Kyoya's life. He escaped their father's grasp years ago, and was cut off financially and informationally. Kyoya detailed his education and his career. He also explained their father's requirements to become heir.

Akito shook his head. "That man. It's just one hoop after another. Does that mean you're married, then? I mean, you're wearing a ring."

Kyoya instinctively touched his ring with the opposite hand, covering it. "I was, but she died. During childbirth. A year ago this past January. At one of our clinics." It was still difficult for him to say the words, to believe she was gone.

Understanding crept into the older man's eyes. "I am so sorry, Kyoya. But I know now why you've been touring hospitals. Will you go to Europe next? European hospitals tend to have better survival rates, especially Italy."

"I will, but not right away. Being away this long has put me behind in other areas, so I will need to put in some effort to catch up on what I missed once I return to Japan."

Akito pulled an envelope out of his pocket and slid it over to his younger brother. It was ivory, and it had Kyoya's name handwritten on it. Kyoya opened the envelope and found a handwritten wedding invitation:

**The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage uniting**

**Sarah Elaine Tate**

**to**

**Akito Ootori**

"You're getting married. Congratulations."

"Thank you. It's on New Year's Eve. We were already out of official invitations since they were sent out last month. I asked Sarah to quickly handwrite something for you when I got home and she forgot the date, but it's an invite. I would greatly appreciate if you came, if you have the time."

"I'm not sure time will allow, but I will let you know. We can keep in touch, at least. You have my phone number now, and I can give you my home address if you'd like to write."

Akito paid their bill and the brothers walked to the street where Kyoya's car was waiting.

"Kyoya, you have my sympathies regarding your wife and child. No one should have to go through that. But that's why you're doing research, right? Well, I know you have a lot of work ahead of you when you return, but don't let it consume you. Try to focus less on what Father wants and more on what you need. Working all the time isn't healthy, and it won't help you heal the pain you seem to still be in. You hide it well, but you are changed, brother. There's a sadness in you I noticed the second our eyes met today. Let people back into your life."

"You don't know what…"

"Don't I? Do you remember how I was before I left? I worked tirelessly to become a doctor and work for Father. He tried over and over again to arrange a marriage. No matter what I did, he never appreciated anything, but if I failed, he was the first to criticize. Only by leaving and making my own path was I able to be free. Now, I have a decent life I've worked hard for here, and a woman I love more than any I could have married in Japan. Father would never approve of Sarah, just as he never approved of anything that wasn't fit for an Ootori. She comes from a modest background, with no society connections. I mean, she's a science teacher at a high school. But she's passionate and intense and pushes me in ways I never knew existed. I wish that for you, Kyoya. Grief takes a long time to heal and even then leaves a terrible scar, but I hope you can find some kind of happiness in this world beyond being the heir."

Kyoya knew Akito was right about this, just as he had been about the restaurant, but he couldn't admit it. He hadn't talked to anyone about Suzume. He couldn't even bring himself to say her name. The only person who wanted to talk, who encouraged him, he pushed away and hadn't spoken to for months. The rest of his friends walked on eggshells around him, but they would have been there for him if he broke down. But how could he let anyone see him like that?

As he processed everything his brother had said and all the feelings that suddenly welled up in him, he just stared into space.

"I didn't mean to bring up painful memories, Kyoya. But I should be off. I have early rounds tomorrow and I haven't seen my fiance today."

Snapped from his reverie, Kyoya looked at his brother. "I'll be there, Akito. At your wedding. I will make it work."

Akito hugged his brother, which was another surprise. He'd never done that before.

"Perhaps, Akito, you have been in America too long," he said, chuckling, as he extracted himself from the older man. Akito just laughed and they parted ways.


	15. Second Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi makes a decision about her new relationship with Hikaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not Ouran High School Host Club.

Haruhi awoke early in the morning, just as the sun was rising, but did not get up. She didn’t want to disturb the man whose arms were wrapped around her. Hikaru had asked her to be his girlfriend after their third date. She’d privately broken down several times since that time. In the two months they’d been together, she’d been able to keep those breakdowns from him. She tried to keep in mind the aftermath of their first date and everything Mori had said.

 

Hikaru was warm, a shell against her nude body. Beyond that, though, he was in love with her. As she laid there, she had to process that. She knew it was a possibility when they started this, but she’d brushed it off. He’d confessed his love when they were sixteen, but that was nearly fifteen years ago. She didn’t think he’d been carrying that torch all this time, especially after she’d married Tamaki.

 

But last night he’d told her. He cuddled behind her when he thought she was asleep and whispered, “I love you, Haruhi,” and hugged her closer. Instead of responding, Haruhi had kept quiet, pretending to be asleep. The revelation stressed her as she turned it over in her mind. Sleep did eventually take her, but it didn’t last as long as she wanted, evidenced by her being awake now.

 

Now, she thought about her situation more thoroughly. Hikaru, though more immature than he’d shown on their first date, was an intelligent, daring, and interesting hot-headed man. Once upon a time, he and Kaoru fancied themselves to be the only people in the world, or at least the only important people, but now he embraced the existence and importance of others, though most never became permanent fixtures in his world. He appreciated beauty in all forms, and attempted to capture it with his photography. He’d once shown her some of his unpublished works: photos of landscapes and animals and people on the street. They’d been taken during his downtime between professional photo shoots. He was truly talented.

 

But she did not love him.

 

Perhaps they had moved too quickly, moving from dating and fairly innocent kisses to a relationship in less than two weeks time, then to the bedroom only a month later. She wondered what went wrong and if there was something wrong with her. Any woman would count themselves blessed to be loved so completely by Hikaru Hitachiin; he was quite the catch, after all. But she was just learning to be content with the way things were going between them, and that was gone now. How could she continue to be with him if her feelings weren’t as strong as his? She couldn’t lead him on so intentionally.

 

Haruhi resolved to break up with Hikaru, but now she wrestled with the question of when to do it. He was leaving this afternoon for a week-long shoot in Rome. On one hand, she wanted to do it quickly so he could start to move on. If she did it today, he could focus on his work as a distraction. On the other hand, she wanted more time to prepare herself and for him to leave for his trip in a good mood.

 

What if a breakup became a distraction and he was fired from the shoot? Hikaru did still have a temper, and she imagined he would take out his frustrations on anyone within reach. Haruhi couldn’t stand others suffering because of her callousness, so she settled on doing it when he returned.

 

She removed herself from Hikaru’s embrace and took a shower. He was still sleeping when she returned, but she let him rest. She went down to the kitchen to begin making breakfast. Hikaru had convinced her to hire some assistants to help with her workload. Since then, she not only spent more time with her children, Hikaru, and their friends, but she rediscovered the joy of making the occasional meal for her family. Plus, she had always hated being waited on hand and foot like some damn rich bastards. She cringed at the thought of being one of _those_ people. She had money now, but she never wanted to take anyone or anything for granted.

 

The chef was already in the kitchen, prepping for the day’s meals. When he saw her, he sighed. If she was down here this early, he wouldn’t be making much in the form of breakfast. He watched carefully as she prepared the food. Her technique was all wrong, but he knew the end result was still pleasing.

Haruhi decided on omelettes today. She made ham and cheese omelettes, but added spicy peppers, onions, and a dash of wasabi to Hikaru’s breakfast dish. She wanted him to start his day off right, and a spicy breakfast would fire him up. She even made one for the silent, brooding chef in the corner, without all the spices, who thanked her in utter surprise when he received the dish. Never had a member of any household he’d worked for, past or present, made him a meal.

 

Once completed, she put them away to keep them warm. She retrieved some juice from the refrigerator and put it on the dining room table. Her next task was to wake everyone. Kazuki was the easiest to wake. He’d smelled the spices from the kitchen, and had already begun to stir. Risa was less cooperative. She snuggled her blankets and Beary back up to her chest before Haruhi was even out the door. So, like the best mothers, she woke her toddler with a storm of kisses all over her little face that just couldn’t be ignored. Finally, the grumpy child made her way toward the family dining room to join her older brother. Hikaru was last.

 

Since she’d decided to wait on the breakup, she needed to not be awkward for only a few hours, starting with waking him. She entered her bedroom and Hikaru, of course, was still sleeping. It was barely seven, so she really couldn’t blame him. A normal person just shakes someone a little to wake them, but that’s not how romantic couples are supposed to do it, even when the relationship was doomed. So Haruhi slipped in behind Hikaru, who hadn’t moved since she’d gotten up, and placed light kisses on his bare shoulders and exposed cheek. Then she hugged him close and whispered, “Time to wake up, sleepy head.”

 

Hikaru inhaled deeply as he regained consciousness. He turned over to face his girlfriend and kissed her lips. He deepened the kiss and would have taken it further than that, but she pulled away.

 

“Your breakfast is done and the kids are waiting.” With that, she got up from the bed and walked to the doorway. Haruhi stood in the doorway watching him, waiting for him.

 

Hikaru groaned and threw the blankets off. He pulled on a robe he’d brought from home. Seeing he was up, Haruhi made her way to the dining room. Hikaru followed a few minutes later, still rubbing his eyes and yawning.

 

Kazuki was waiting as patiently as a seven-year old could, kicking his legs back and forth under the table. Risa had curled up in her chair in an attempt to go back to sleep, which made Haruhi smile. Her little girl was definitely not a morning person. Haruhi retrieved the children’s plates from the kitchen and served them. The smell of mom-made food forced Risa to sit straight up in her chair, eyes the size of saucers, and smile. Haruhi poured juice for everyone and then returned to the kitchen for her and Hikaru’s plates.

 

“You must have gotten up early to do all this,” Hikaru remarked.

 

“I did. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t. So I made myself useful.”

 

“You didn’t have to, though,” he mumbled as he took his first bite. Then he looked at her in astonishment. “This is incredible. And so spicy. It’s really great!” The look on his face was like one of a small child tearing into their newly discovered favorite food.

 

“I thought you could use a boost. You have a busy day and a long flight ahead of you.”

 

Hikaru just looked at her, amazed. She had been through so much and made it to the other side. Now, she was here with him, as happy as he was. If this was what life with Haruhi could be, a part of him regretted not pursuing her more in high school. Why had he stepped aside for Tamaki anyway? Right. Because she loved him.

 

They all enjoyed their breakfast, but then the day had to officially start. Kazuki was off to school, and Risa had lessons with her tutor. Haruhi had some work to do, and Hikaru needed to go home to pack for his trip to Rome.

 

He kissed her goodbye outside the front door. They never kissed or showed any kind of romantic affection around the children. Haruhi was sure they wouldn’t understand, and she wasn’t ready to explain it to them. She watched as he got in his car and drove away. She stared until she couldn’t see the vehicle anymore, drinking in this last time she would send him off in such a great mood.

 

Hikaru watched Haruhi watching him leave from his rearview mirror. She stood there the whole time. What did it mean? He fully focused on the road when he could no longer see her petite figure on the porch of Kawari. _Is she falling in love with me?_


	16. Breaking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi breaks up with Hikaru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

Hikaru would be back in Japan tomorrow. His shoot in Rome seemed to be going well, and he'd called her every day. He never repeated his once-whispered sentiment, but Haruhi knew he wanted to by the way his goodbyes lingered. It was like he was testing her to see if she would say it.

The week had afforded her a little time to figure out how she would do it. She was going to need reinforcements, so she called Kaoru.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Kaoru."

"Good morning."

"Can you come over or meet me sometime today?"

"I'm a little busy today, but I guess I can make time for you."

"I can meet you at your house and talk while you work, if that's better?"

"No. I need a break and it'll be good to get out of the house, away from the craziness. I'll head over this afternoon."

When Kaoru showed up, he had his son, Toichi, with him. The little boy would be three soon, and normally followed Kazuki around everywhere, but since Kazuki was at school, Kaoru deposited him in Risa's room.

Risa was ecstatic to have a friend to play with and watched and fussed over him like a little mother hen. Haruhi, not for the first time, was thankful Risa had inherited her father's open demeanor where others were concerned, even if she could also be extremely dramatic.

Haruhi served tea for the two of them in the parlor after Toichi was settled. It was time to put her plan in motion.

"I'm not sure how to put this delicately, but Hikaru is going to need you when he returns tomorrow. I need you to be available."

"Why is that? His trip has been a success."

"It won't be work-related. Now, I need you to promise to keep a secret. You can tell Hayame if you want, but nothing to Hikaru or anyone else."

Kaoru narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he sipped his tea.  _What is she up to?_  "Okay. I can keep a secret, even from Hikaru. I don't like to, but I can."

"Good." Haruhi took a deep breath. "I'm breaking up with him when he comes back."

"What! Why?" He set his cup of tea down with more force than he had intended, splashing some onto the table.

"My reasons are my own. I don't owe you an explanation, but you'll find out soon enough. I'm sure Hikaru will tell you."

"Haruhi, that's not the point. I'll always be there for my brother, but you have to give me more. I thought you needed help because you were going to surprise him or something. In a good way."

"Fine. He loves me, Kaoru." She broke eye contact and looked at her tea cup.

"And? Is there something wrong with that?" He cocked his head slightly.

She lifted her head to meet his gaze again. "There is when I don't feel the same. I enjoy our time together, but it's not fair to him if we aren't on the same page. Or at least the same chapter." She could feel tears coming, but she pushed them away, but not before Kaoru saw her eyes become glossy.

The silence between the two friends was awkward. Haruhi was looking back at her teacup again, playing with the saucer and running her finger along the pattern. She hadn't taken a single drink and it was getting cold, but she couldn't make herself drink. Kaoru watched her.

Kaoru sighed heavily and shook his head. "I was afraid this would happen. His feelings have always been stronger than yours. I'm glad he finally got his chance with you, but it's going to crush him all the same. Maybe worse than high school because now he's had a taste."

Haruhi's eyes met his again, pleading with him to understand. "I know. But that's why I called you. So you could be prepared and not be blindsided. It's bad enough this will be unexpected for him. But, Kaoru, I can't be in this knowing he loves me and I don't love him back. I can't be in a relationship where I feel like there's a constant pressure to keep up with him. That wouldn't be fair to either of us."

Kaoru pulled Haruhi into a friendly hug. "I know. I'll be there for him and you whenever you need."

"Thank you, Kaoru."

He let go of her and they discussed other topics while they finished their tea. Kaoru was stressed due to the upcoming Fashion Week, and he and Hayame were trying for a second child. Haruhi wished him luck and advised him the second is never the same as the first, offering multiple examples, including Mori and Satoshi, Hunny and Chika, her own children, and even Hikaru and himself.

The crying of one of the children promptly ended the conversation as the pair ran upstairs to investigate. They found Toichi dressed in a baggy dress (one of Risa's) and a bow in his hair, and Risa crying. Toichi had spilled "tea" (actually water) on the dress he was wearing and all over her little table.

Toichi wasn't bothered by Risa's distress, though. He continued to sit at the table, playing in the water, which only made her cry harder. The sight, in its entirety, made it extremely difficult for the adults to keep straight faces as they calmed Risa. Then, as Kaoru disengaged Toichi from the watery table, the boy threw his own tantrum at being removed because Daddy was taking him away from his toy.

Haruhi walked Kaoru to the door and they said their goodbyes. That part was done. She wondered if she should call Mori as well, but decided against it. She didn't want everyone knowing about the breakup before Hikaru, after all.

* * *

The following day, Haruhi received a series of text messages from Hikaru.

**Leaving the airport now.**

**Going home to shower, maybe nap. Jetlag.**

**I'll be there tonight. About 6.**

She simply responded  _ **See you then**_.

Hikaru arrived just after 6:00 that evening. He hugged her and kissed her forehead in greeting. He looked and smelled wonderful, not like someone who had just spent 12+ hours on an airplane. She did miss him, though not as much as he deserved to be missed. The four of them sat down to dinner and enjoyed a pleasant evening. Kazuki left the table immediately following dessert to work on his homework. Risa's nanny had to gently but forcibly remove her charge from the table when she was full, because she had started to play in her food and make a mess of everything. It was bath time anyway.

This left the couple alone. They retired to the drawing room, Haruhi leading the way. Hikaru drew her near to him, kissing her neck. Now was the time and she steeled herself.

"Hikaru, stop," she pulled away and turned around so she could look at his eyes. Those beautiful amber eyes.

"Haruhi. I've been gone for so long. I've missed you," he purred in a seductive tone as he tried pulling her back toward him.

"I know. But I've been thinking…"

He backed off a bit and frowned. His eyes narrowed. "About?"

She sat on the plush sofa and gestured for him to do the same. Haruhi had thought about how this would go all week, but now her practiced words were escaping her, her mind blank. The longer she sat staring at the floor in silence, the more frustrated and confused Hikaru became.

"Well?"

She looked him directly in the eyes, her body stiff.  _Time to rip off the band-aid._

"I don't think we should be together anymore. Not like this. Not as a couple."

It took him a few minutes to digest what he'd just heard. He turned his head and stared at the floor, attempting to process the information, but unable to grasp what she was saying.

"I don't understand. You were so happy when I left. We've been happy. And good together, right?" His voice wasn't seductive or confident.

"Happier than I've been in a very long time. But this relationship isn't fair to you." She reached out to touch his hand, bringing his attention back to her face.

"What do mean? How is it not fair?"

"Your feelings are a lot more advanced than I realized. I heard you when you said you loved me. I didn't say it back or react at all because I don't feel the same. It's not fair because you deserve someone who loves you. That person isn't me."

He jerked his hand away from hers. "Don't tell me what I deserve! I want you! I love you!" Hikaru realized his voice was raised.

He began again, more calmly. "I've loved you for so long, Haruhi."

"I'm so sorry, Hikaru. I never meant to hurt you. I care for you deeply, but as a friend. But I know I'm not ready for where you want this to go. It wouldn't be right for you to hang around for something that may never happen."

They sat in silence again, not looking directly at each other. He had been so sure of himself, of her, of their relationship before Rome, but now that was gone. This was the first time in his life he'd ever wanted something real with anyone, but he couldn't force it.

Despite his anger and hurt, Hikaru knew she was right. He had tried to tell himself he'd seen the same spark in her eyes when they were together that she'd possessed when Tamaki was alive, but he had deluded himself. His feelings did surpass hers. A part of his anger was tempered by the fact his brother and Mori had warned him this could happen.

As he swallowed his anger, a profound sense of sadness overwhelmed him. It was partially for himself and whether he would ever find someone to rival Haruhi in his heart, but it was also for Haruhi. How difficult it must have been for her to admit that she may never truly love again, to accept she may have to live the rest of her long years alone.

"Never alone," he blurted.

"What?"

They looked at each other once again. Hikaru was determined, but Haruhi confused.

"This sucks, and it hurts, but I get it." He let out a slight titter, then his face was serious. He rubbed the back of his neck. "But you will never be alone. We may not be together, but I will always be your friend. There's nothing you can do to ruin that." He hugged her and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and said goodbye.

Haruhi watched him leave the room and only thought  _That could have been worse. He's grown and matured these past few months. Because of me?_  Then she pushed those thoughts out of her mind, never to revisit.

On his way out, he called his twin. He needed some sibling-bonding and Toichi-time to cheer him up.


	17. Breakthrough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family emergency prompts an emotional reunion between long-lost friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

September brought heat and humidity and storms, so it was either too hot or rainy to play outside. But on a Sunday, the weather broke and presented Tokyo with a beautiful day. Kazuki did not want to waste the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors on his day off from school. He played with his little sister for most of the day because her nanny had the day off, but by late afternoon, he was bored with her games and entertainment. He just wanted to explore on his own, though that didn't stop her from following him.

When he thought he'd lost her, he began climbing a maple tree in the backyard. The tree was huge and he'd never been to the top. His grandfather told him the tree had been planted by his grandfather and no one knew how tall it was. Kazuki made it his mission to find out. He had climbed pretty much all the trees on the property and he'd saved this one for last.

It had some low branches, so it was easy enough to start. He'd been climbing for about ten minutes and was making good progress, but then he heard a thump. He looked down and only saw a teddy bear through the leaves.  _Oh no. Risa_. Kazuki made his way back down the tree a bit to see where his little sister was. What he saw was not good.

Risa, ever the resourceful child, had dragged a patio chair to the lowest branch of the tree and climbed on. She probably didn't make it far before she fell, but the fall would have been at least four feet from the ground. Kazuki watched her for a minute and she didn't move.

"Risa!" he yelled, but she didn't answer him.

_Mom's going to be so mad._ Kazuki descended the remainder of the tree. He made sure not to land on his sister. He ran to her and shook her, but she still wouldn't move. She was breathing, though.

He ran hard back to the house and found his mother in her office. He was in tears by the time he reached Haruhi. "Mom! Mom! You have to come outside. Risa fell. She's not moving."

"What?"

"C'mon. Risa's hurt." He didn't wait for his mother to follow him, but it didn't take her long to overtake him. They both ran to the maple tree. Risa hadn't moved.

Haruhi screamed and gently tried getting her to stir, but nothing worked. Kazuki was sitting in a ball on the ground, bawling.

_Who do I call?_

Her mind blanked. Who did she know who could help? She didn't want to move her unconscious baby girl in case that would make it worse. She pulled out her phone and dialed a number she hadn't touched in what seemed like ages.

When the line was picked up, she didn't even wait for a hello. Instead, she hysterically screeched, unable to control the emotion in her voice, "I don't know who else to call. Risa has fallen out of a tree and she won't wake up. Please help."

The line was silent.

"Are you seriously considering if this is worth it to you?"

"Of course not. I'll be there shortly."

* * *

Kyoya's driver took all road signs on the way to Kawari as mere suggestions and delivered his boss in record time. Kyoya let himself into the house. All was quiet, so he rushed through the house to the backyard. He had no problem figuring out where to go. The maple tree could be seen from the back patio. He ran to the girl's aid.

At the very least, she was breathing. He checked her out thoroughly. Nothing was broken or cut, but she would have some bruises. He checked her eyes and then the back of her head. Her pupils were responsive and there was no bleeding. It looked as if she had just knocked herself out.

"How long has she been unconscious?"

"At least 30 minutes."

"We should get her to a hospital. She's probably fine, but I can't rule out a concussion."

Kyoya picked up the little girl and began walking to his car. Haruhi followed him. Kazuki picked up Risa's teddy bear and ran to catch up with his mother. Together, they all went to the closest Ootori hospital. Kyoya personally passed up the emergency room personnel and took Risa to the top doctor at the facility. As he laid her on the table, Risa began to regain consciousness and started to whimper.

He did his best to reassure her everything would be okay. She looked confused. She had seen this dark-haired man, bespectacled man before, a long time ago, but she couldn't remember who he was. Her not knowing who he was broke Kyoya's heart a little. Risa was Tamaki's daughter and she didn't know him.

The doctor checked Risa and ran tests.

"Dr. Ishikawa, I want to make sure those results are top priority." He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and they glinted.

"Yes, Dr. Ootori. I understand."

Risa was settled into a private room while they awaited the results. Kyoya sent a nurse to fetch her mother and brother. Risa was overjoyed to see her family. Haruhi had to calm her down. She laid in the bed with her little girl. Kyoya turned to leave, but Haruhi grabbed his arm. "Kyoya. Please stay." So, he stayed. He took a seat next to Kazuki, who looked like a bundle of nerves.

"She'll be okay."

Kazuki looked up at him with tears in his blue eyes. Tamaki's eyes. "But it's my fault. I didn't want to spend any more time with her, but I was supposed to watch her. She was following me up the tree, but I thought she went back inside." He looked away and started to cry in his hands.

Kyoya hesitated, but then put a hand on the boy's back. Gently, he tried to soothe the boy. "This is no one's fault. Sometimes, these things just happen. People get hurt, but they end up okay. Your sister's already awake and practically back to herself."

The boy stopped crying, but he curled his knees to his chest, watching his sister. Haruhi was still laying next to her daughter, who was huddled against her mother, with her teddy bear in the middle. She was jabbering on it true toddler form. Haruhi would occasionally answer in a soft voice when Risa asked her a question. Kyoya ordered dinner and it was delivered to the hospital room.

Dr. Ishikawa reentered the room. The test results were back. Risa showed no signs of concussion, but he recommended Haruhi watch her for the next day or two to make sure she didn't start to manifest any symptoms. If she did, Haruhi should call him personally and he would meet her at the hospital to take the next step in her treatment. Haruhi and Kyoya thanked the doctor for his time.

The drive back to the mansion was much more relaxed. By the time they arrived, Risa had fallen asleep in Kyoya's lap. It seemed the two of them had bonded some during her trauma. It was late, so Haruhi sent Kazuki to bed and he raised no objections. Kyoya carried Risa to her room upstairs with Haruhi following close behind. She leaned against the door frame and watched as he gently placed her daughter in bed and covered her. He made sure the teddy bear was settled right next to her.

He lingered, gingerly tucking Risa in, and Haruhi noticed how sad he was.  _His own little girl would have been a toddler now._  The thought brought tears to her eyes.

Kyoya looked up just as a tear streaked down Haruhi's face. He knew that tear was different from the ones she'd shed for her injured daughter. That one was for him, and it made him angry. He didn't want her pity. The only reason he had come here tonight was because it was Tamaki's daughter, not because of Haruhi.

He stormed out of Risa's bedroom without saying a word. Haruhi knew he was upset, but she was tired of this. She followed him, running, and finally caught him as he was walking out the front door. She caught him by the wrist and when he spun around, all she could see in his eyes were pain and anger. For a moment, she thought she was looking in a mirror.  _Can anyone else see this? In either of us?_

"Let go, Haruhi. I'm leaving."

"No, Kyoya. Not like this. This needs to stop." Her voice was firm.

"There's nothing here. We aren't friends, and you don't know me anymore."

"I know you still mourn Suzume and your daughter. I know you bury yourself in work as a distraction. I know you don't eat some days because you forget. I know you don't sleep because you dream about them and you wake up crying. I know you sometimes wish you'd never met her and maybe she'd be alive if she'd never met you."

"How could you possibly…?" Kyoya sneered as he finally broke free of her grip.

"Can't you see I'm just as messed up as you are?! Even after all this time," Haruhi screamed at him, hands balled into fists. "I miss him every day. We were supposed to be together forever, and our lives were stolen!"

Kyoya felt guilty. He had blamed her for trying to make his life better. But he'd abandoned her long before that because Tamaki's death pained him as well. His brother's words echoed in his head.  _Grief takes a long time to heal, and even then leaves a terrible scar, but I hope you can find some kind of happiness in this world._  Kyoya needed to take steps to heal, and the first step was to heal the rift between himself and Haruhi. He finally saw through his own pride to find a woman in anguish trying her best to put her life back together, a friend who needed his forgiveness. He moved forward and embraced Haruhi.

He whispered to her, his voice cracking, "I didn't want to see your suffering. I'm sorry. Tamaki was my best friend, and it hurt so much. Everything in my life was going so well, so I couldn't make myself focus on your pain. Then Suzume… and now the pain I ignored in you for so long is the same as mine. I failed you."

"I'm sorry, too. I lost my composure. I said things I didn't mean. I failed you, too, because I pushed too hard. Too soon." Haruhi held tight to him and he could feel her break emotionally and he followed shortly after.

They cried softly in each other's arms for what felt like hours, quietly exchanging more apologies and absolutions. It was the first time Kyoya had broken down with anyone else around, but somehow it was okay because it was Haruhi.

When their tears finally subsided, Kyoya vowed not to abandon her again as long as she offered the same courtesy to him. She agreed.

"I'll call you tomorrow. And Haruhi, when I ask you how you're doing, your answer should never be 'Fine.'"


	18. Renewal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoya calls Haruhi as promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

When Kyoya had answered a phone call only to have a hysterical Haruhi on the other end, he never imagined how much his life would change. At best, he thought he might consider her an acquaintance to be tolerated. He'd hesitated, though, when she asked for help. Her words echoed in his head, even now.

_Are you seriously considering if this is worth it to you?_

He had been considering it, potentially putting her daughter, Tamaki's daughter, at risk because his pride wouldn't allow him to drop everything for someone he'd cut out of his life.

But their subsequent breakdown brought both of them to their knees. Now, just one day later, he reflected on how vulnerable he had looked. He hated he'd shown any kind of weakness. But he knew Haruhi didn't see it that way.

Kyoya took his phone out of his pocket. It was 9 pm. He had promised to call her to check on her, but he wondered if it was too late now. Not just the time of day. Was it too late to salvage their friendship?

He dialed his long-lost friend. She answered cheerfully, but he could hear the facade in her voice.

"Good evening, Haruhi. How are you today?"

"I'm f… Okay. Maybe less than okay. It's so hard to tell sometimes."

"This is true. How is Risa?"

"Thankfully, no signs of concussion."

"Something to be grateful for."

"Yes. And Kazuki has been so attentive. He wanted to skip school today to take care of her, but I wouldn't let him. As soon as he got home, though, he was in her room, playing and doing whatever she wanted."

"He feels guilty. He thinks it's his fault."

"I know. I tried to tell him I don't blame him and neither does Risa. He said he knew it wasn't his fault, but he still felt bad and wanted to do anything he could to help her get better."

"You're raising a fine young man, Haruhi. Tamaki would be proud of all of you."

Haruhi didn't respond for awhile. Kyoya thought he heard a nearly inaudible sob from the other end of the line.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

Haruhi sniffled, "Thank you, Kyoya. I try my best and I wonder if it's enough. Tamaki and I were so involved with the children. We both had more time to devote to them. But now that it's just me, I have such an active role in Suoh Corp. that even when I'm home, I spend so much time in my office and don't see them like I want. It's better now that I have some assistants, but I have missed so much of their lives already."

Kyoya listened to her keenly. The pressures of being professionally and personally successful were immense on her small shoulders.

"Kyoya?"

"Yes, Haruhi?"

"You haven't said anything in ten minutes."

"I didn't want to interrupt you."

"I haven't been talking, either," she giggled a little. A pretty sound.

"I apologize. I must have been lost in my own thoughts."

"Care to share?"

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. You have taken on immeasurable responsibility and have asked for little help from your friends or your staff. I was thinking how I would have managed in your situation. I admit I haven't handled Suzume's death in the best manner. I lost a part of myself. But I honestly don't know what kind of father I would have been to my daughter without Suzume. She made me a little softer. In my condition, I may not have even looked at that little girl. I would have employed an army of nannies to take care of her every need and spoil her with anything she could ever have wanted as long as I didn't have to personally deal with her." The mere idea of this and speaking them aloud seared his eyes.

"Oh, Kyoya. I don't think so. She was a part of you and Suzume. I think you would have doted on her. She would most certainly have been spoiled, though. She would have been your life."

"An interesting notion."

"She would have had playmates as well. The rest of the club members, myself included, would have brought children around to play with her so she had friends."

Kyoya smiled at the image that played in his head of Kazuki, Risa, Toichi, Fumiko, and Hiroki playing in the nursery he and Suzume had prepared in expectation of their little girl.

Haruhi and Kyoya continued to talk over the phone for hours that night. They mostly discussed Tamaki and Suzume and reflected on good times. It was an emotional conversation for both of them.

Around midnight, Haruhi yawned and decided it was time to say goodbye.

"Can I call you again tomorrow, Haruhi?"

"Sure." Haruhi was a little taken aback by the request. First that he wanted to continue this attempt at their friendship and second that he asked her permission.

"Is nine too late?"

"Actually, that was a perfect time. I put Kazuki to bed around 8:30. Plus, I don't get much sleep regardless of the time I go to bed."

"I'll call you tomorrow then."

With that, a friendship was renewed and became stronger than it had ever been.


	19. Missing Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi has a cold, causing Kyoya to ponder his feelings for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

A month passed and the newly-bonded friends talked nearly every night. The topics ranged from their friends, limited conversations about work obligations, reminiscing about their time at Ouran Academy, and Haruhi's children. All conversations ended up including, at some point, discussion about their deceased spouses.

Ripping open old wounds was painful for both of them, but they comforted each other. Both had dealt with their grief similarly: anger at their respective spouses, resentment toward their friends' happiness, isolation, and throwing themselves into their work. They recognized and acknowledged the suffering they had both endured matched and their bond grew deeper because of it. They related to each other in ways they couldn't with anyone else.

Haruhi detailed her relationship with Hikaru. Kyoya had overheard Mori and Hunny discussing that the two of them had started dating, but never inquired further. At the time, he wasn't interested in her life, though he knew they wouldn't last. When asked about his own romantic life, he tried to skirt the subject, but Haruhi would not allow him to evade the question. He explained there were a couple one-night stands right after the one year anniversary of Suzume's death. Meaningless sex didn't ease his pain, so he didn't pursue any more trysts.

Kyoya explained his mission to improve his family's medical practices in obstetrics. If he could work so no one else lost a wife or child in an Ootori clinic, he could be professionally fulfilled. While Haruhi thought that was a noble goal, she also believed it was unrealistic. Sometimes life just happened and those kinds of things are out of anyone's control.

Then, he told her about his trip to America and reconnecting with his brother. Haruhi was surprised at his mentioning Akito. Kyoya easily could have described his American tour without including his older, estranged, disowned brother. He confided the visit with Akito had been eye-opening, but hadn't affected the way he conducted his own life. Kyoya was happy his brother had landed on his feet and was making a good life for himself. They had their problems growing up, but he truly respected the man Akito had become.

Over the weeks, the phone calls were longer and more in-depth. They both looked forward to each other. Kyoya found himself wishing the days would go by more quickly so he could talk to her that night.

Haruhi invited Kyoya to Risa's fifth birthday party and he agreed to come. Their host club friends were at first shocked, then relieved the two of them had made up.

* * *

One Saturday evening in late October, he received a text from Haruhi cancelling their phone plans. She had a cold, so her throat was sore and voice gone. He was disappointed at first, but decided to work. There was always so much to do, and he went on with his night. But when he looked at the clock and saw it was just after 9; he couldn't focus. He sat at his desk with his fingers on the keyboard of his laptop, staring at the screen, but no work was done.

There was a feeling there he couldn't explain. It was something he hadn't felt in a while. A pang. He missed her. He missed her voice, her laughter, the way her tone always betrayed exactly the emotion she was feeling, the way he could read all of those emotions.

_What is this?_

He'd missed Suzume, but that was different. She had been his wife and they were friends, but this wasn't the same. It was more like how he missed Tamaki. Tamaki had been his best friend and he loved him in that way. Kyoya never missed him, though, if he'd just talked to him the day before. Or even the week before because a little of Tamaki exuberance went a long way.

_So what is this? Am I falling in love with Haruhi?_   _No. I mean, I have never felt this particular way about anyone, but that does not mean it's love. I have never been in love before, so there's no way to definitively say one way or the other. No, it's not love._

He recalled how Haruhi had looked the day she called. As they drove in silence back to her home, she had looked beautiful, though he hadn't noticed at the time. How much she had changed since their time at Ouran. Her hair was longer and her body feminine. While her bust size hadn't expanded by even a full cup size, two pregnancies had given her a little bit more there. She'd always had some curves elsewhere, but the uniform had concealed those. But now, she wore Hitachiin everything so her figure was flattered in every piece of clothing she selected.

Realizing he had been imagining Haruhi's body for such a long time, he admitted to himself there was at least a romantic, physical attraction there. Was it more than that, though?

He had long admired her for the person she was. Determined, ambitious, independent, forgiving, compassionate, intelligent. These described Haruhi in high school. Time had not dulled any of those traits. Now, though, there was something else. She challenged him, found ways to push his buttons. He was able to confide in her without judgment. She offered him honest opinions and he never doubted the truth of anything she said. He trusted her. But did all of that equal love? Maybe. He couldn't say for sure. All he knew for sure right now was that he missed her everything.

But how was he supposed to deal with even the possibility he was developing serious feelings for her. They'd only reentered each other's lives a month ago. It was too fast, wasn't it? Probably, but not unheard of. He didn't want to ruin what they had just spent a month building.

Then, there was was the guilt.  _If I pursue Haruhi, am I betraying my best friend? He's gone from this world, but not in our hearts._

His mind was racing. Was he really thinking about pursuing Haruhi? Hadn't she told him she wasn't ready for a serious relationship? Wasn't that why she'd broken up with Hikaru? Suddenly, he wished he had taken notes during all of their phone conversations so he would be prepared to answer all of these questions. He reminded himself he'd promised Haruhi he wouldn't take notes on their conversations when she'd heard him tapping away at his laptop during one of their early conversations.

_I'm losing my touch if I can forget anything anyone says, but especially her._

He opened a blank document on his laptop and began typing up all the things he could recall during their conversations. He promised he wouldn't take notes at the time, not that he wouldn't try to make notes after the fact.

* * *

The following day, Kyoya texted Haruhi.

**How are you feeling?**

_Better. Did you get some work done last night?_

**I actually got a lot accomplished. Thank you.**

_Good. I'm glad the night wasn't a total waste._

**Are you up for a day trip?**

_It depends. What do you have in mind?_

**Taking the kids to the zoo.**

_We can do that. I'm sure they would love that._

An hour later, Kyoya arrived at Kawari. He had just opened the door to his car when the front door swung open and Risa was running to him. He bent down for a hug, but she barrelled past him and piled into his backseat.

"Ready to go!"

He turned around and let free a chuckle. "Well, get yourself buckled in. We have to wait for your brother and your mother."

"Okay!" He walked to the house as she struggled with her straps. She had turned five earlier in the month and he knew better than to offer help. Haruhi had mentioned Risa didn't want help with anything. Someone (Kazuki) had convinced her she was a big girl now and she shouldn't need so much help. She was convinced he only told his sister this so Risa would stop asking him to do stuff for her. Kyoya had to admit the boy was clever.

Kazuki was coming down the stairs as Kyoya entered. He was less excited than his sister, but still had a smile on his face. He was looking forward to the trip, but he didn't want his mom or her friend to know that.

"Where's your mom?"

"In the kitchen. Packing lunches."

"Of course she is." He sauntered into the kitchen to find Haruhi. She wasn't hard to miss, though the chef sitting in the corner directed his attention to her. There were six bento lunches packed neatly sitting on the island. She was in the process of wrapping them up.

"You made them yourself, Haruhi?"

She looked back at him and smiled. "Yes."

"You didn't have to. I'm sure your chef would have been happy to prepare them."

"I know. But he does so much. And I like cooking. It's only been the last few months I've been able to do this more often. The kids really love when I make their food, too." She looked at the chef, "They love everything you make, too," returning her focus on her task, "but it's more special to them when their mom makes them food, even if it isn't as fancy."

Haruhi was amazing. With everything else in her life, she took time out of her busy day to make meals for her children and herself? His own mother never took on such a menial task, even when she did have time off work. He remembered her cooking. It was exceptional, though unrefined.

"All done. You carry these three and I'll carry the others." She handed him three perfectly wrapped boxes while she carried three.

"You made me one?"

"Of course."

"Who are the others for?" he asked, confused why there were six.

"Tachibana and your driver eat, right?"

"How thoughtful," he murmured. What high society woman made her own lunches and made lunches for a bodyguard and driver? Haruhi Fujioka-Suoh, that's who.

Their outing was a success. The weather was beautiful and the children skipped ahead of the adults, marvelling at the myriad of animals. They had grown so much and he regretted not being there for them or their mother for so long. Before they left, Kazuki had to buy a souvenir for Fumiko. He chose a bunny because she'd inherited her father's affinity for the creature. Because Kazuki was buying something for Fumiko, Risa wanted to buy something for Toichi and Hiroki. Haruhi convinced her to get them both identical giraffes so they wouldn't fight over their gifts.

When he dropped them back at the mansion late that afternoon, Haruhi insisted he come in for dinner. There was always more than enough and it would not be an inconvenience. So, Kyoya joined the Suohs for dinner. It was just the first dinner he would enjoy with this family.


	20. Butterfly Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The former Host Club members and their spouses begin to suspect there's something happening between Haruhi and Kyoya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The zoo outing was just the first of many outings, just as dinner at Kawari had been. Kyoya and Haruhi took every opportunity to take the children to parks for bike riding and picnics, amusement parks to ride roller coasters and explore, and recreational centers so they could swim and ice skate despite the increasingly dreary weather.

On a particularly fine day in the middle of November, Kyoya asked if Haruhi wanted to take the children on a picnic at a local butterfly garden. She thought that was a wonderful idea, but Hunny's family was supposed to be joining them for lunch. He extended the invitation to the entire club. Hunny loved the idea. Mori was more than willing to come to town with his family since he'd received enough notice. Kaoru's family would also be joining them. Hikaru was the only one missing. He was at a shoot in Spain.

With so many in attendance on short notice, Haruhi did not attempt to make the picnic lunch for everyone. Kyoya arrived outside the mansion and once again Risa was rushing toward the car. She was getting better and faster at buckling herself in. Maybe Kazuki was onto something. She was growing, and it was important for her to learn to rely on herself a bit. He started for the front door, but Haruhi and Kazuki exited the house, ready to go. Kyoya smiled. The picnic basket Haruhi carried was nearly as big as her.

"Did your chef appreciate you letting him make this?" he joked with her as he took the oversized basket.

"Yes. He did. I still don't understand why he gets so anxious when I'm in the kitchen."

"He's not used to it yet. Most great ladies of great houses don't prepare their own meals. They tell their chefs what they want and when and expect it to be there as arranged."

"I can't do that. Not all the time. And I make him food when I make everyone else food."

"You make your chef food?" his eyes narrowed in confusion. Who…? Right. Haruhi does.

"It's only right. He puts in so much hard work and I like to show my appreciation with more than just a paycheck."

The ride to the butterfly garden was lively. Risa excitedly told Kyoya about her upcoming school year. She was going to Ouran Elementary and would have the same teacher as Kazuki did. She was going to get a pink backpack that looked like a teddy bear. She went on and on the entire trip as Kyoya listened, enraptured by the little blonde's enthusiasm.

Haruhi, ignoring her daughter's ravings because she'd been listening to them since she'd enrolled her three days ago, watched Kyoya. He seemed interested in what Risa was saying and he responded in a gentle tone. In general, she admired how he was with her children. Hikaru had never really taken much of an interest in the kids, especially Risa.

_Why am I comparing him to Hikaru?_  She thought, shocked at her train of thought.

Changing the subject within herself, she told herself he took an interest because they were Tamaki's children.

* * *

Kyoya and the Suohs were not the first to arrive at the butterfly garden. They met Kaoru, Hayame, and Toichi in the parking lot. They waited for the others in front of the entrance so they could all go in together. Within twenty minutes, Hunny, Reiko, Fumiko, and Sachika arrived, shortly followed by Mori, Hisa, Hiroki, and their newborn, Rin.

The garden was beautiful and the butterflies enchanting. The children were instructed not to touch the butterflies, but could otherwise run around as much as they liked. Toichi and Hiroki, both three, tried following Kazuki and Fumiko, but were quickly left behind by the older children. Risa took charge of the younger boys and gave them the giraffes she bought them at the zoo. The bribery worked, and they followed her and did her bidding.

The adults, meanwhile, sat on blankets extended on the ground, eating and catching up. They cooed over the nine-month-old Sachika who was crawling all over the place. Kyoya noticed the way the others looked at him and Haruhi, but they hadn't said anything. Not yet, at least.

"Haru-chan. It's great you and Kyo-chan are friends again." Hunny piped up, breaking into the topic.

"I agree. It's much better this way, I think," she offered.

Her answer didn't satisfy the group's curiosity. If anything, it raised more questions. They wanted to ask so badly, but they didn't want to overstep. As far as they knew, the renewed friendship between Haruhi and Kyoya was fresh and fragile, and they didn't want to say something that would start another feud. Haruhi seemed oblivious to the line of questioning.

"I need to go to the ladies' room. Haruhi, Reiko, Hisa, would you join me?" Hayame inquired. With that, all the fairer sex left the men to discuss manly things and watch the baby.

Once out of earshot, Hayame built up the courage to ask Haruhi what they'd all been burning to ask, "What is going on between you and Kyoya?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and the kids showed up here with him."

"And he hasn't left your side. Not until now since we've dragged you away," Reiko interjected.

"He looks at you. You look at him. Never at the same time," added Hisa.

"I still don't know what you're talking about. Kyoya and I are friends. We've spent a lot of time together, but we've had a lot to catch up on."

"It's more than that, though. There's something else there," Hayame stated.

"No. Just friends. Now will you drop it?" Haruhi said, irritated.  _How could they think Kyoya and I are together? Is there something on his end?_

 

*****Meanwhile*****

 

Once the women could no longer be heard, Kaoru was the first to break, "What is going on with Haruhi?"

"Whatever do you mean, Kaoru?" There was no way Kyoya was going to give these guys a straight answer. It's not like he could, anyway. There were mysterious feelings on his end, but he and Haruhi really were just friends.

"The two of you showed up here today together," Kaoru answered.

"Haru-chan and I had plans for a play date for the kids, and she changed them because you asked," Hunny pointed out.

Mori remained stoic, but regarded Kyoya with suspicion that would have made him cower if he were not Kyoya Ootori.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. His face revealed no emotion. "Nothing is going on. We are friends."

The guys continued to harass him and he remained calm. They heard the girls' laughter approaching in the distance, so they changed the subject. The group finished their meal and joined their children running around the garden. Even Kyoya loosened up and chased Toichi and Hiroki, whose little legs couldn't carry them fast enough and giggled uproariously when Kyoya caught and tickled them.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Kaoru wished Kyoya a happy birthday. He was going to be out of town, as he always was on Kyoya's birthday, due to another Fashion Week show. Kyoya thanked him, as he always did.

Before Kyoya got in the car, Mori approached him. He led the shorter man away to speak to him away from where Haruhi and the children sat.

"Kyoya. If you and Haruhi are friends, you are friends. If you become more than that, be careful. It takes a strong man to deal with his own grief, an even stronger one to deal with someone else's." Kyoya nodded and Mori walked away.  _Have I become that transparent?_

"When's your birthday?" Kazuki asked when Kyoya got in the car. "I heard Kaoru-sama wish you happy birthday."

"My birthday is next week, November 22, Kazuki-kun."


	21. Birthday Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuki has an idea for Kyoya's birthday celebration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

"Mom, I want to do something for Kyoya-sama for his birthday." Kazuki was standing in the doorway of his mother's office. He knew she was working, but it couldn't wait.

"Why is that?"

"He helped Risa. He's nice to us. And he doesn't have a family to help him celebrate."

Haruhi looked up. She was so proud of her son's compassion. "He might already have plans. He does have parents and siblings who may want to spend time with him."

"No. He has to come here! He can't spend his birthday with anyone else!" Kazuki exclaimed, offended by the idea Kyoya would go anywhere else for his birthday.

Haruhi tried not to smile. It was not easy to ruffle her son, but when you did, he was a force to be reckoned with, much like his father, much like herself. "I'll ask him to dinner that evening. What did you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise. Thanks, Mom." With that, he ran from her office. She shook her head. Haruhi made a note to ask the chef and other staff members for a heads up on anything Kazuki asked for in regards to Kyoya's birthday. She sent a text message to Kyoya.

_Do you have birthday plans?_

**Not yet. Any ideas?**

_Kazuki wants you to come here for dinner._

**Kazuki?**

_Yes. He wants to do something special for you because you helped Risa._

**I'll be there.**

_Are you sure? Please don't cancel any plans you might have with your family._

**My father and brother have not contacted me with any plans. If they do, I will just tell them I am otherwise engaged. I'm having lunch with my sister, so my evening is free.**

* * *

Kazuki's idea of doing something special was a lot like his mother's idea would have been. He wanted to learn how to make food for Kyoya. This stressed the chef immensely, but he taught the young master how to make sushi every day after school. The chef instructed the young master how to steam and cook various parts, and helped him assemble the pieces into the nori, then the chef cut it into pieces, not willing to let the boy handle a knife.

While there were other foods the chef prepared, the spicy tuna roll was made almost completely by Kazuki. He was proud of himself and had fun doing this. Kyoya was impressed when presented with this treat. He had never taken the initiative to learn the art of cooking at an early age, and it showed now. He was taught to appreciate fine food, but had never really made any himself. His father would have frowned upon it if he had shown any desire to make food.

There was also cake, but Kyoya only took a small slice. He didn't care for sweets. But Risa ate enough for all of them. She had given him a card she'd made herself with construction paper, crayons, glued macaroni, and glitter. So much glitter. He accepted it graciously.

Once again, Haruhi admired how he treated the children. He didn't talk down to them. It was like he tried to be on their level. It wasn't just her children, either. She'd taken note of how he'd interacted with the children of the other former hosts.

_Was he always so great with children? I don't remember him being like this at all when we lived in France. We didn't see him much, though, and the children were so little. I've told him before he would have been a wonderful father. He still could be if he gave someone a chance._

Preparing to leave, Kyoya addressed Haruhi. "Thank you for a great birthday. I couldn't have asked for a better evening."

"You should thank Kazuki. He arranged it," she admitted shyly.

"I did thank him. But I know he didn't do it alone."

"You're welcome, Kyoya. Happy birthday."

"Thank you again, Haruhi." He gave her a quick hug and walked into the night.

As she tried sleeping that night, she reflected. Though the hug had been quick, her face had flushed, and she still felt warm more than an hour later. She tried to think if Kyoya had hugged her before. There was that night they cried together, but that wasn't so much a hug as both of them holding onto each other for dear life.

Could she be developing feelings, more than friendship, for Kyoya? He was so much warmer and had a bigger heart than most people knew. She knew Hikaru and Kaoru were still scared of the occasional glare they would receive from the former Shadow King, but Haruhi wasn't scared of him, or his glare, or his connections.  _He even makes me smile. And laugh. No one has really done either of those since Tamaki. Hikaru did a little, but not nearly as much as Kyoya. Who knew Kyoya was funny?_ She was comparing Kyoya to Hikaru again, but this time, she was comparing him to Tamaki a little, too.

Tamaki. Was she betraying Tamaki for harboring feelings for his best friend? She had been able to get past most of her guilt when she dated Hikaru, but Kyoya had been so much closer to Tamaki. On top of that, was she betraying Suzume? She had befriended Kyoya's deceased wife, and now she was thinking about Kyoya in a romantic light.

_What is wrong with me? Is it even possible for me to be happy? With Kyoya or anyone else?_

* * *

Less than a week later, Kyoya was invited to dine with the Suohs again. He accepted the invitation and enjoyed their company. Haruhi had been listening more intently to him during phone calls since his birthday, and watching him closely during dinners to see if she could decipher his feelings. He was so hard to read sometimes, but his eyes lingered, and his hand brushed hers, and he smiled. These were little things, but for Kyoya, they could be everything.

They said good night at the door again, and he gave her another hug. This one lasted a little longer, but not by much. As she prepared herself for bed, she hummed a melody. Off-key and off-beat, but she hummed anyway. She hadn't done that in so long. She couldn't even remember the last time, not that she tried remembering, because she didn't realize she was doing it.

Sleep overtook her almost as soon as her head touched her pillow. The dream invaded her slumber shortly thereafter. This one was different that her formerly recurrent nightmare.

 

_She looks down. She's in her wedding gown. She looks around. This is her wedding day. She smiles, nervous and excited, with butterflies in her stomach as she walks down the aisle. She looks forward and Tamaki is smiling brightly, looking at her like she's the only woman in the entire world. She looks down, blushing into her bouquet of roses, and when she looks up, Kyoya is in front of her dressed in a tuxedo. Tamaki is standing behind Kyoya._

_An ethereal voice from everywhere and nowhere asks "Who gives this woman to this man?" Haruhi looks around. Her parents are in the front row with the other hosts seated behind them, but no one makes a move. When she turns to face Kyoya, Tamaki grins, "I do."_

_Kyoya reaches his hand out to take Haruhi's hand. She hesitates, looking back at Tamaki, who is still smiling. Tamaki whispers to her, "Everything will be okay." She turns back to Kyoya, takes his offered hand, and takes the last step to stand next to him - equals. She turns back to Tamaki, but he is dematerializing into a bright white light, still beaming. Tears in her eyes and slightly panicked, she turns back to Kyoya._

_He takes her face into his hands and wipes her tears, saying, "Everything will be okay."_

 

Haruhi woke herself. Her face was streaked with tears, but she was smiling. These were happy tears. She had to tell Kyoya how she felt about it. Right now. Everything would be okay.


	22. A Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by a dream, Haruhi calls Kyoya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

Kyoya's phone rang on his desk, drawing his attention from his laptop. Confused, he looked at the clock.  _Who is calling at midnight?_  He picked up the offending device and a shred of fear gripped him.

"Haruhi, are you okay? Has something happened? The kids…?" The thought of Haruhi or her children being in trouble made it nearly impossible for him to keep his composure.

"The kids are fine. I called to talk to you."

"You had me a little worried for a moment. I only left your house two hours ago." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Did you miss me?"

Was that flirtation she heard in his voice? She didn't know how to react to that question.

"Haruhi?"

"I don't know how to start," she blurted. They each sat in silence as Haruhi gathered her courage while simultaneously second-guessing her decision to call in the first place. After several minutes, she began, "I think Tamaki sent me a sign."

"A sign? I didn't think you believed in such things."

"I normally wouldn't, but it felt so real. He felt real."

"What was this sign?"

"I don't want to talk about it over the phone. Can I see you tomorrow?"

"I was just there earlier tonight. Do you me to come over for dinner again so soon?"

"Um… No. No kids. Maybe dinner at your house?" Suddenly her face was warm with embarrassment. "Or out somewhere? I don't want to interfere with your schedule. You're a busy person. I shouldn't assume you have the time. I should go. I'll talk to you later."

"Wait. I always have time for you. I have meetings all day tomorrow, but I will be free for dinner. You can come here and I'll have my chef prepare something special."

"Okay. I'll see you then. Good night."

She disconnected the call and the embarrassment receded. Feeling accomplished, she settled back into bed, and fell back to sleep only to have another dream. But this one was different.

 

_She's in her old Ouran uniform. She's standing in music room three alone. She sits at the piano stool and plays a note. She hears a pencil writing on paper and looks over to see Kyoya standing near her, writing in his notebook. She stares at him, without saying a word for what seems to be an eternity. Then he looks up and his lenses glint in the sunlight as he pushes them up the bridge of his nose. He smiles. A real, honest, true Kyoya smile, not his hosting smile. He looks back down at his notebook, but she can still see he is smiling._

 

She woke up again, but there were no tears, only a small smile on her face. She fell back to sleep and slept until her alarm.

* * *

Haruhi woke well-rested for the first time in years. She showered and dressed herself, kissed her children as they slept in their beds, and headed to work. She was needed at headquarters for some meetings and to review upcoming year-end reports. She was in a good mood all day, though a little more distracted than usual, so not as productive as her employees had become accustomed. But no one complained.

Upon returning home, she took another shower to freshen up. She wanted to change, but stopped in front of her wardrobe, unable to decide. She'd never had this problem before. She never had to guess at the tone she had to present. This was a casual dinner with a friend, but it was also someone she maybe wanted to pursue romantically. They hadn't defined what tonight would be, but she hadn't told him what she wanted to discuss.  _Is this a date? It can't be a date if you don't tell the other person it's a date._ Her heart sank.  _I don't know._

In the end, she chose a long navy and white chevron skirt with a navy sweater. She left her hair down, her makeup natural, and spritzed on a light, floral perfume. Once ready, she found the kids to spend time with each of them before she had to leave for dinner. Shortly before it was time to go, she called for her car. Once she was in the car, she practiced breathing exercises to keep herself calm.  _Why am I so nervous? It's just Kyoya._

Haruhi arrived at his doorstep with her heart in her throat and butterflies in her stomach. She felt like a teenager again, a girl she didn't know existed anymore. The crisp autumn air played with her brown locks as she waited.

To her surprise, Kyoya answered the door instead of a member of his staff. He had a nervous smile on his face. Until recently, she wouldn't have been able to tell what kind of smile this one was beyond whether it was fake or real. It was definitely a real one, and he was trying to conceal his anxiety.  _Why is he so nervous?_

He was wearing dark jeans and a maroon button-down shirt, so he wasn't overly casual, but not formal either. He gestured for her to come inside. As she passed him, she could tell he had recently showered and was wearing cologne. They made small talk as he served her something to drink, then guided her to the dining room.

The long formal table, meant for entertaining large parties, was set with two place settings at one end across from each other. Between the settings, candles and red roses had been used as decoration. The food was also on the table so Kyoya could easily reach it.

He pulled out a chair for Haruhi, and then took the seat directly opposite her. Kyoya began serving her.

Astonished, Haruhi said, "You are full of surprises." Kyoya looked up at her, raising his eyebrows.

"Where are all your staff? I'm used to having a small army underfoot when I come over."

"I gave them the night off after all the preparations for the evening were complete."

"Oh."  _Did he give them the night off because of me? Or was this already planned?_

They kept their conversation light and easy throughout the meal, but both of them felt a sense of tension because something was coming. She knew she had to tell him about her feelings and her dream. He knew she had something to say, and he could only hope it was good news of some kind. They finished their meal, and Kyoya took the dirty dishes into the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher, further surprising his guest. He returned with strawberry shortcake for dessert.

As he set the confection in front of her, he felt the need to finally bring up the elephant in the room.

"So, are you going to tell me what this is about, Haruhi?"

"I still don't know how to start," she mumbled as picked at her cake, and he sat in his chair.

Kyoya reached across the table to put his hand on hers. "I'm here. Whatever it is."

She looked down at his hand on hers. Her heart was beating faster, her face flushed. "I know. That's part of the reason this is so difficult." She withdrew her hand and put both hands in her lap. He kept his hand where she left it.

"The best and worst things are. You said Tamaki gave you a sign."

"Right. I had a dream. He was there."

"Isn't he in all your dreams?"

"Yes, but this one was different. It was our wedding day again. But he wasn't the one waiting for me." She looked down at her hands, unable to meet Kyoya's intense gaze. She whispered, "He was giving me to the man waiting for me."

"I see." He withdrew his hand from its place on the table.

She looked back up at locked eyes with him. "Kyoya, that man was you. I took your hand, and when I looked back, Tamaki was disappearing in a beam of white light, smiling like an idiot."

Kyoya remained silent, processing. He hadn't expected this. Dreams were fickle at best and hard to interpret, but this one seemed straightforward.  _She seems to believe_ _Tamaki wants her to be happy with me? Where would she be if the man who was waiting for her had been Hikaru, though?_

Haruhi interrupted his musings, "Please say something, Kyoya."

"Are you only here because dream-Tamaki gave you permission? Do you even feel anything for me?" His voice was rough and raw.

"What? Of course I have feelings for you. I've been falling for you for months. But I was scared and guilty and confused and in denial, and I don't want to lose you. My dream-Tamaki just gave me the nudge I needed."

Again, Kyoya was silent. He was insulted she needed a dream to spur her forward like this. He almost wished she hadn't called. He almost wished she hadn't told him the why, only that she had feelings. Almost. What was he supposed to do with feelings encouraged by her dead husband and his dead best friend in a dream?

"Unless I've overstepped." She was trying to hold back the emotion in her voice and push back tears. "You don't feel the same, and I've made a complete fool of myself and ruined everything." She stood up to run away from the table, away from Kyoya, away from this house.

But he grabbed her by the waist as she tried to pass him. He pulled her closer to him, but didn't look up at her when he asked, "Haruhi, was this a date?"

The tears that had been forming disappeared. She proudly answered him. "I don't know. Maybe I wanted it to be, but I didn't know what you wanted. I couldn't ask. I didn't want you to say no."

She looked down at him and he was looking back at her. He had a playful smile on his face. "I could never say no to a date with you."


	23. Definitely a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi and Kyoya's first date continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

Haruhi sat back down and ate her strawberry shortcake. Afterwards, she and Kyoya took their plates back to the kitchen. When she put her plate in the dishwasher, she saw it was in total disarray. She couldn’t help but laugh. He had tried so hard, but the man had obviously never loaded one before. According to Haruhi’s instructions, Kyoya rearranged the dishwasher. They washed their hands and headed to the library to talk. 

There was a bottle of wine chilled in a corner with two glasses. There was also a fire going. The pair sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, sipping wine. 

“So, you’ve been falling for me?” His eyebrows were raised and he was looking at her from the corner of his eye. 

“You caught that, huh?”

“Yes, I did. There’s not much I don’t catch.” 

Haruhi put her head down and spoke quietly. “I know.” 

His hand was on her jaw, tilting her head back up so her eyes met his. “I’ve been falling for you, too.” 

“What does it mean though?” 

“It means I want a future with you, whenever you’re ready for it.” Kyoya’s thumb caressed her jaw. “You determine the pacing. I don’t want to push you. Your marriage was different than mine. Tamaki was your heart and soul, you chose each other. My wife was a newly made friend, not originally an object of devotion. She was a good person and deserved more than what she had in me.” 

“I don’t know how fast or slow I want this to go, but I do know I want to be with you.” Haruhi moved her hand to cover the one caressing her face and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I will give as much as I am able, but there will always be a place in my heart for Tamaki. A part of me will never stop loving him. I can’t go into this without you understanding this. I still miss him every single day, but spending time with you has dulled that yearning.” 

“I know what being with you entails, Haruhi. It may be difficult at times, but the best things in life are worth the effort. Tamaki knew that. Even Hikaru knew that. You are worth it. You are an amazing human.” 

Haruhi leaned over and kissed Kyoya’s lips. The kiss was innocent, but it was too long to be a kiss between two friends. Her entire body tingled with electricity. She pulled away and they both opened their eyes. He saw there were tears trailing down her face. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Kyoya whispered as he wiped her tears with his thumbs.

Haruhi smiled, her face in his hands. “These are happy tears, Kyoya.” 

Kyoya pulled her back toward him, kissing her this time. It was another long, innocent kiss. But the spark between them was undeniable. They both felt like their bodies were on fire. 

When the kiss ended, Haruhi grinned. “So, what does this mean? Does this mean you’re my boyfriend or something?” 

“If that’s what you want.” She settled in beside him as he put his arm around her. 

“I’m over 30, and a widow. That word seems so odd.” 

“Hikaru was your boyfriend for a while, and that was less than six months ago.” 

“Sure, but that was different. I didn’t love him, I mean, as more than a friend. We dated, and we called each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but it felt different than this. This is already more serious than anything Hikaru and I ever had.” 

“There was something there. You slept with him.” 

Haruhi pulled away, frowning. “I know. That was probably a mistake. I was trying so hard to move forward, to be normal again, I used him to do it. I was inconsiderate of his attachment, and ended up hurting him in the process. But he was a stepping stone on my path here. I wasn’t ready for something serious then, with Hikaru or anyone. But now, there’s only you.” 

Kyoya smiled at her and moved to kiss her again. This time, they met in the middle. Haruhi considered taking the innocent kissing further, but she’d made that mistake before. She ended the kiss and rested her forehead on his. 

“I think I should go home now,” she whispered. 

“Please stay,” Kyoya whispered back to her, barely audible. 

“I don’t want this to go too fast.” 

“I’m fine with that. But please, don’t go. Not yet.” 

“Okay.” 

They finished their wine,and Kyoya put out the fire. He led her to his entertainment room where they sat together on the luxuriously oversized sectional couch, lounging and watching television. Occasionally, they would look at each other, smile, kiss, then go back to watching the TV. 

Haruhi fell asleep curled against Kyoya. He smiled and reached into his pocket – quite a feat since it was in the pocket under Haruhi. He called the garage and advised her driver to go home. He would arrange transportation when she was ready to leave. He held her closer to him and fell asleep. 

Late the following morning, the still slumbering couple were rudely awoken by the sound of Haruhi’s phone. She answered groggily to hear her panicked assistant. Haruhi was two hours late to work,and no one had seen or heard from her since the previous night. Haruhi was about to tell her assistant she would be in by noon, but Kyoya took the phone out of her hands and told the woman on the line Haruhi was taking the day off. 

Haruhi couldn’t even be mad at him. She could spend all day with him, snuggled on that couch, or in front of the fireplace, or anywhere. She curled back up, and he kissed her on the cheek. 

“I’ll be back.” But he was gone for a while. When he returned, he was carrying a tray. 

“Breakfast,” he announced as he set the tray in front of her. It had a rose from the previous night in a vase, a bowl of steaming miso soup, and a fried egg over natto and white rice. 

“Is your chef back?” 

“No, I made this myself.” She took a bite and her jaw dropped. It was delicious. He enjoyed watching her eat, especially something he’d work so hard to create. 

“When did you learn to cook?” 

“Suzume taught me a few things. She craved miso soup at all times, and eggs at night after the chef had already left. So, she patiently walked me through how to make a few simple dishes.” 

Haruhi chuckled. “I did the same thing. I had to teach Tamaki how to make a few things, but I think his mother helped him a lot, especially during my first pregnancy. He was pretty hopeless.” 

“I was too, but I kept practicing and perfecting until I had it right.” 

After breakfast, they spent the morning walking the grounds of the estate. They thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company, sharing light, flirty touches and kissing when they thought no one was looking. 

Before he took her home that afternoon, Kyoya asked her to go to San Francisco with him as his date to his brother’s wedding on New Year’s Eve. Haruhi agreed, but expressed a bit of apprehensiveness. She wanted to be Kyoya’s date, but she was weary of airplanes and hadn’t been on one since she’d moved to Japan.

 


	24. Sarah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi travels with Kyoya to America for Akito's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The flight to America went well. It didn't hurt that Kyoya spent the majority of the nine-hour flight holding Haruhi's hand, even as they napped.

The pair checked into the Marines Memorial Hotel, which was absolutely beautiful. The wedding and reception would be held in their grandest ballroom in just a couple of days. Kyoya felt a sense of irony and history upon entering the establishment. This place was built and maintained as an operational memorial in honor of American soldiers who fought Pacific forces during WWII.

Now, a Japanese man was marrying a woman whose grandfather had fought and was wounded at Iwo Jima.

Upon entering their room and seeing the single king-size bed, a rush of panic rushed over Haruhi. Until now, she hadn't considered Kyoya may expect to share a bed for more than just sleep. They had been together for just over a month now, and he'd never pressured her, but they were in a different time and a different place now.

Kyoya took her hand and smiled. He led her to a door on the side of the room. It opened into another, identical room. Anticipating how anxious she would be about the sleeping arrangements, Kyoya had booked adjoining rooms. He didn't want to force her to share his bed in any way if she wasn't comfortable.

Haruhi gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand. No words passed between them, but they both felt her relief. Though, she was a bit disappointed in herself for doubting him even for a moment. Then she wondered why she'd let herself be put in this situation in the first place.

_Why didn't I just book my own room? That's right. Kyoya insisted on making the arrangements because I am his guest._

Neither liked the idea of living out of their suitcases for the next few days, so they both took the time to put away all their clothes. Kyoya called for a light meal from room service, and they dined mostly in silence. Exhausted, they separated and slept in their own rooms.

* * *

Haruhi was the first to wake. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, warming the room. The clock read 9 am. Kyoya wouldn't wake for at least another two hours.  _What am I supposed to do with myself until he gets up?_  she asked herself as she flipped through brochures left on the desk.

She heard a giggle and a rustling noise coming from the hallway. As she looked up, she saw an envelope being slid under her door. She picked it up and read:

**Good morning!**

**You don't know me, but I wanted to get to know you. This is rather improper of me, but I simply couldn't wait to meet my future brother-in-law's girlfriend. Please meet me for lunch and a bit of a girls' day at noon in the lobby.**

**Always, Sarah**

Haruhi now had something to do later, but she still had time to kill. Her stomach growled a little, and she decided she couldn't wait until lunch to eat. She showered and dressed.

Before leaving to go downstairs, she checked on Kyoya through the adjoining door. He was still sound asleep. She tiptoed into his room to kiss his forehead. She then tiptoed back to her room, and soon left for the dining room. She enjoyed fruit and yogurt from the breakfast bar as she flipped through a fashion magazine someone had left behind.

Haruhi returned to her room around 11 to see if Kyoya was awake. He was still sleeping, and she felt a pang of disappointment. She wanted to spend a little time with him before she met with Sarah, but it was better for everyone if he got his rest.

She smiled down at him, and kissed his forehead again. As she moved away, however, a hand seized her wrist and pulled her back toward the bed. Kyoya's eyes were still closed, but he was smirking.

He pulled her into the bed next to him. His eyes opened and he kissed her cheek.

"I couldn't let you sneak away with just a kiss on the forehead."

"You could have."

"I don't think so."

With that, he pulled her close and kissed her lips. His lips were soft and gentle, but hungry. The electricity between them was more than anything either of them had ever experienced. They opened their mouths and deepened their kisses, tongues lustfully fighting for dominance. Kyoya ran his hand through her hair, then down her spine, causing her to shiver. He shifted himself on top of her. His lean body enveloping hers. He kissed her neck and collarbone, and Haruhi's nails scratched his bare back.

She could feel his arousal and wanted him, but this was not the time. Even if her body wanted it, she didn't want it to be this way. Not yet.

"Please, stop Kyoya," she whispered into his ear, panting.

He lightened his kisses and shifted himself back to the bed beside her. He sighed and kissed her cheek. Kyoya smiled. He wanted her in every possible way, but he would wait.

It was nearly noon, so Haruhi rushed to freshen up. She filled Kyoya in on the note she received and her plans for the afternoon while she splashed her face with cool water, dried it, reapplied her makeup, and brushed her hair. She kissed him and left the room as he was pulling out his laptop to get some work done.

Haruhi made her way to the lobby, but she wasn't sure what to expect. She didn't even know what Sarah looked like.  _I should have asked Kyoya._

"Haruhi?"

"Yes?"

"I'm Sarah. It is so great to meet you. Akito showed me a picture of you."

Sarah was taller than Haruhi, but only by a few inches. She had wavy light brown hair that fell to the middle of her back, and bangs framed her heart-shaped face. Her skin was a pale pink color, lightly freckled all over except her face, and her large eyes were green.

"How does Akito have a picture of me?"

"Kyoya sent him one of the two of you. You are the cutest, you and Kyoya!"

"Thanks, I guess."

Sarah locked armed with her and led her to the dining room. "I am so glad to meet you. Akito said his brother was in the biggest funk and you brought him out of it."

Before Haruhi could respond, they were accosted by Sarah's sister and friend. They ate lunch together, and the other ladies gushed about the wedding plans. Though Haruhi felt completely out of place, she naturally fell into her host mode to keep the bride happy. These ladies were much easier to charm than Ouran girls.

After lunch, the quartet went to the spa. They all received manicures, pedicures, and massages. Before they all parted, Sarah asked Haruhi if she would come to her room tomorrow to help her get ready for the ceremony. Haruhi agreed, and left to prepare herself for the rehearsal dinner.

Once inside her room, she collapsed on her bed.

Kyoya entered her room wearing only a pair of black dress pants and socks. He had recently gotten out of the shower. "Did you have fun?"

"So. Tired."

"You've been gone four hours. You can't possibly be."

"I forgot how much hustle and bustle happens just before a wedding. Also, I forgot how overly friendly some Americans can be."

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. "Well, thank you for sacrificing your time and energy to be here with me."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else. And I would have been upset if you'd have brought another date."

Kyoya chuckled and offered his hand. "Come on. We have more Americans to mingle with at the rehearsal dinner."


	25. Assistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning of Sarah and Akito's wedding day and Haruhi is helping the bride as requested, but it brings forth unexpected emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

Sarah and Akito's rehearsal dinner commenced without any major issues. The rehearsal part was before the dinner, so the flower girl and ring bearer were cranky before all the walkthroughs were done.

During the dinner portion, Kyoya and Haruhi met so many new people. Sarah's entire immediate family were in attendance, as well as a few of her colleagues. Some of Akito's friends were there as well.

No one mentioned the absence of Akito's family the entire evening. However, when the guests discovered Kyoya was Akito's brother, many were interested. They asked him questions about Japan and his career. They wanted to know all about Akito as a child, and how he was before he left Japan.

They wanted amusing anecdotes about brotherly bonding. Unfortunately, Kyoya was unable to regale them with such stories. Akito was five years his senior, and they had been in competition with each other and their eldest brother Yuuichi since he could remember. Their parents didn't foster an environment that encouraged tight emotional bonds between siblings.

The guests were still fascinated, though, and kept Kyoya talking for the better part of the evening. He didn't mind. As he mingled with the guests, he watched Akito. His brother wasn't the same man who had left Japan. He was visibly happy, smiling and laughing freely. He'd landed a respectable career and found the love of his life. While he may have had a lucrative career in Japan if he'd stayed, Kyoya doubted his brother would have found anything close to the happiness he had with Sarah.

Haruhi was nearly as interesting as her boyfriend, if only because of her connection to Kyoya and Akito. She had never met Akito before tonight, but she enjoyed his company for the short time she was allowed to converse with him. She didn't have to know him to see how happy he was. Upon meeting, he was much more open than any other male Ootori she had ever met.

The guests were kicked out of the ballroom by the hotel at 10pm. The cleaning crew had much to do in preparation for the wedding tomorrow.

Haruhi and Kyoya were completely spent by the time they made it back to their room. They went to their rooms and changed into pajamas, but Haruhi wasn't ready for sleep just yet. She had barely spent any time alone with Kyoya all day. The couple curled up in Kyoya's bed and flipped on the television to a late-night talk show.

Comfortable in each other's arms, they were asleep within minutes of getting settled.

 

* * *

 

Haruhi woke around 8am the following morning. Kyoya's arms were still wrapped around her and she loved the feeling. She cuddled closer to him to enjoy his warmth a little longer. He stirred a little, but did not wake.

At the urging of her bladder, she finally got out of bed, placing a kiss on his cheek. She took a shower, and put on jeans and a sweatshirt; she would change into her wedding attire later. She again ventured into the dining room for breakfast, then headed to Sarah's bridal suite to be of assistance where she could.

She spent the morning with Sarah, her mother, her sister, and her three bridesmaids. Sarah already had so much help, so Haruhi wasn't sure how she was supposed to be of any assistance. The wedding party was having their hair and makeup done by a professional, and they'd all had their nails done the day before.

Haruhi mainly fetched one thing or another, or poured tea. The rest of the time she sat awkwardly, listening to the party.

She learned Sarah came from a modest, middle-class family. Her grandfather had fought in WWII, and her grandmother had been able to get a discount on the ballroom and hotel rooms. Her wedding dress had been purchased from another woman on eBay. Her parents were florists, so her flowers were their wedding gift to her. Akito had started a savings account right after he told her he loved her, and started putting away money for a ring. After she agreed to marry him, he'd told her about the savings account. He added her to it the following day, and they began saving money for the wedding together.

Sarah wasn't nervous at all. She told Haruhi she knew she and Akito were meant to be. She didn't care if anything and everything went wrong today, as long as she and the man of her dreams said 'I do.' If this day ended with her married to Akito, all would be right with the world.

The group helped Sarah into her dress and trappings. Once she was all put together, Sarah was an absolute vision. Her lace-and-tulle ball gown had floral details all over. The neckline plunged, but Sarah's ample bosom held the fabric nicely. The top of the dress, above the defined neckline, was tulle accented with lace that created sleeves. Her hair had been teased and arranged in a loose braid accented by a diamond and aquamarine tiara. She held a bouquet of light blue roses interspersed with white orchids and tied together with a silver snowflake ribbon. She looked like a princess.

As Haruhi left the bridal suite and walked back to her own room to get ready, memories of another wedding filled her eyes. She walked faster until she reached the safety of her room. She leaned against the door, trying to keep her tears in check.

Kyoya had just exited the shower when he heard the door close, but he didn't hear any other movement. He dried himself and wrapped his lower half with a towel. Then he grabbed another towel to dry his hair as he walked into Haruhi's room.

She was against the door and obviously upset. He pulled her away from the door and against his body. As he embraced her, Haruhi broke and she began sobbing. He held her until she calmed down. When she pulled away, sniffling, he cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

"Nothing. It was all going so well. We were actually having a great time. She's such a beautiful bride."

"I'm sorry. I don't understand."

Haruhi took a deep breath. "On my way back, I was thinking about my wedding day to Tamaki. About how dad refused to let me see or talk to him for two days before the wedding, about how much Dad gushed about me looking like my mother on their wedding day, about Mei helping me with my nails and makeup and hair because I couldn't keep my hands steady. And Tamaki's mother was amazing. Anne-Sophie made sure everything was perfect, and gave me a beautiful diamond brooch that had been a Grantaine family heirloom, one they managed to keep when the family's fortunes took a turn, passed down to every woman on their wedding day, saying it was mine and I would one day give it to my own daughter."

She sighed again, voice cracking, and she began sobbing again. Kyoya silently held her. He liked that she was able to open up to him, to be comfortable enough to be vulnerable with him. At the same time, he hated to see her cry, especially when there was nothing he could do.

Haruhi whispered into his chest, "I just miss him so much. The memories I have are wonderful and I cherish them, but they are painful, too. Just when I think I've gotten past this, something else reminds me I'll never be free."

Kyoya pulled her away from his chest, put his hands on her arms, and looked her directly in the eyes. "This is something you won't get over, and you don't need to. I know losing Tamaki will always be difficult for you, that you think about him. I miss him, too, and Suzume as well, though not as much as I once did. You've helped with that."

She pulled herself together. "You've helped me, too."

They intensely stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds.

"Kyoya. I love you."

He hesitated, taken aback. When they started dating, he knew she said she was falling for him, and he was, too, but neither of them had said the actual words.

His slow response was disheartening and she dropped her gaze to the floor. He shifted his hands so that one was on her waist and the other lifted her face to meet his gaze.

"I love you, Haruhi. More and more every day. I just didn't want to push it if you weren't ready."

She gave him a grin, and stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. They shared steamy kisses until an alarm went off. They had to get ready for the wedding.


	26. An Ootori Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi and Kyoya attend Sarah and Akito's wedding and reception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

The hotel ballroom was decorated with light blue and silver decorations, which included the flowers, the chair upholstery, and the tulle along the aisles of chairs. It was almost a winter wonderland. It was lovely, but it was nothing compared to the incredible woman on Kyoya's arm, at least in his opinion.

Despite her earlier tears, Haruhi was breathtaking. She wore a lavender floor-length silk gown with a sweetheart neckline and halter straps that tied behind her neck. The bodice was ruched, and she was wearing a silver snowflake wrap and silver open-toed heels. She had curled her hair and pinned it back, leaving a few ringlets down to frame her face.

Kyoya felt drab next to her in his silver dress shirt, black dress pants, and black Oxfords. He wasn't even wearing a tie. Had Haruhi stood next to Akito, she would have put him to shame as well. Akito stood at the altar, talking with the officiant, waiting for the wedding to start. He was wearing a black suit with a light blue dress shirt and a silver bow tie. Aquamarine cufflinks completed his ensemble.

The wedding ceremony proceeded perfectly. Sarah and Akito became husband and wife. Haruhi was right – Sarah was a beautiful bride.

As Kyoya was leading Haruhi into the reception area (and the open bar), he was hailed by Sarah. She wanted him to be in some of the pictures. He obliged, leaving Haruhi to go to the reception alone. She went to the bar alone for a glass of wine, and then found her assigned seat to await her boyfriend's return.

The reception area was decorated in the same manner as the wedding. Haruhi sat at her table, quietly sipping her wine and watching the other guests converse. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone approaching, but thought nothing of it until he sat next to her in Kyoya's assigned chair.

The stranger had pale blonde hair, sparkling light blue eyes, and a perfect smile. His voice was smooth. "A beautiful woman such as yourself shouldn't be sitting alone."

"I am waiting for someone, but I appreciate your concern." She gave him a small smile and started to turn away.

He didn't leave though. Instead, he kept talking. Apparently, his name was Kevin. He was a stockbroker. He and Sarah were next door neighbors and childhood friends. Their parents were also friends. He hadn't been able to make it to the wedding, but made a point to be at the reception.

Haruhi smiled politely, but zoned out as he kept talking. She often shifted her gaze to the door to check for Kyoya.

Then Kevin touched her hand. It wasn't an accidental brush or mistake, but a deliberate caress. He had taken his finger and ran it the length of her hand as he spoke in a flirtatious tone. Haruhi had had enough of this arrogant jerk. She moved her hand away.

"Please do not touch me. I am with someone, and am not interested in leaving with anyone else but him."

"You could though. You're not married."

"True. But my boyfriend is the groom's brother."

Kevin's tilted his head slightly and his eyes shifted momentarily and she could see the wheels turning in his brain trying to make the connection. She leaned in, once again making eye contact, and spoke in a low tone, smirking. "Have you heard of the Ootori Group in Japan?" He nodded yes. "Do you know how powerful they are there?" Again he nodded. "It would be a shame if their heir decided he needed to extend their reach here. And if the Suohs from Suoh Corp joined them, what would that do to the stock world?"

Kevin paled. "W-w-why would Suoh Corp join them?"

"That's right. You never asked my name, so I didn't get to introduce myself." She put her hand out for a handshake. "My name is Haruhi Fujioka-Suoh." He shook her hand, but his hand was clammy and he'd turned as white as a ghost.

"N-n-nice to meet you. But I think I need to get a new drink and find my own table."

With that, Kevin got up from her table and quickly walked away. Haruhi sat back in her chair and smiled to herself. She didn't like using her name as a threat, or Kyoya's for that matter, but she did get some satisfaction in this instance. By the time Kevin reached the bar, Kyoya took his seat next to her, smiling, hardly able to contain his laughter.

"You handled yourself well."

"He was more persistent than most."

"When I saw him touch you, I wanted to punch him in the nose."

"Kyoya Ootori. You've never been so openly violent."

"This is true. But I would do it to protect you." He kissed her cheek.

"I can handle myself. I've had years of practice. You forget, I'm not really an unknown commoner anymore. I'm a Suoh. I have a powerful position and receive unwanted advances at every gala and event I attend, especially since Tamaki passed."

"I hadn't considered. I would have thought Japanese businessmen would have more respect and tact."

"They are less persistent than American and European businessmen, but they still make advances. Respect and tact mean nothing if they could improve their business or social standing by being with me. Whether their interest was marrying me to take over my position because it's not my field, or appropriate for a woman, or to have some influence over Kazuki, who is the Suoh heir, or to date or sleep with me or tarnish me and blackmail the company, I've never found out. I'm better at recognizing their overtures, and have become adept at shutting them down, politely of course, so I don't damage the business relationship."

"You're incredible. Definitely not the Haruhi from Ouran Academy."

Sarah and Akito entered the reception toward the end of cocktail hour. They greeted each group of guests in turn. Eventually they made their way to Kyoya and Haruhi. Sarah asked for Akito to get her a drink from the bar.

"Kyoya, I know this is sudden and you won't be prepared, but can you give a speech later? After the best man and my sister? It would mean so much to Akito to have you do this, even if he would never say so. I'm only sorry we couldn't make you a part of the wedding party."

"I'm not prepared, but it would be an honor."

"Oh, thank you, thank you," she squealed. She gave Kyoya a hug and moved along to the next table.

While they ate dinner, Kyoya struggled with what he would say. He still didn't have any amusing childhood anecdotes to share, and he'd only met Sarah last night at the rehearsal dinner. Haruhi saw how tense he was and reached over to take his hand. When he looked up at her, she smiled and squeezed. He knew what he wanted to say.

The cake was cut and served, and then it was time for the speeches. The best man, a friend of Akito's from the hospital, entertained the room with stories about meeting Akito and misunderstandings that arose early on due to the language barrier. The maid of honor, Sarah's sister, was sweet and didn't overly embarrass the couple. When her sister sat down, Sarah motioned for the microphone.

"Thank you, Rachel. Now, I have asked for one more speech tonight."

Kyoya stood and walked to the head table, taking his wine with him. Sarah was smiling, but Akito was confused. Kyoya admitted to himself he liked seeing his brother confused. He took the microphone from his sister-in-law and turned toward the crowd.

"For those of you who don't know, I am Kyoya Ootori, Akito's younger brother. I admit my brother and I were never close growing up. The age difference and demands our family placed on us made that all but impossible. He left for America several years ago, and we lost touch. Then, in August, I was on a tour of top American medical facilities. The chief of medicine was supposed to be the guide for my group, but he had 'overbooked,' and tapped another, capable person to lead us. Cue a knock on the door and Akito enters. The chief told us Ootori was such an unusual name, at least here, so he thought we could bond. What he didn't know is he reunited two brothers. It was tense and awkward, but we made it through the tour. Akito asked me for dinner that night.

"We talked about many things but one thing stuck out. He said, 'Her name is Sarah.' When he said it, there was a shift in demeanor, his eyes lit up, his mouth formed a smile. He truly enjoyed telling me he had found this wonderful woman who he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Sarah, who was an intelligent, beautiful, caring woman who was crazy enough to fall in love with him.

"Now some congratulations are in order. First, to Sarah's parents. I congratulate you for adopting a new son. Second, to Sarah's siblings, I congratulate you on the addition of a new brother. I haven't always been the best brother, and I live so far away, so I'm glad he has some better ones close at hand. To Sarah, I don't offer congratulations as much as a thank you. Thank you for picking Akito and improving his life. Ootori men need amazing women in their lives who push them to be their best selves, and Akito is no exception. To Akito, congratulations for finding your amazing woman and your life. You are not the man I knew in Japan. You are a better man now, and I think she's had a lot to do with that. Now, we raise our glasses to the newlyweds to offer our sincerest hopes of a successful marriage filled with happiness and love. You both deserve the best things the world has to offer."

Everyone raised their glasses and toasted. Kyoya returned the microphone to Sarah, who was dabbing her tears with a handkerchief. Akito's eyes were glistening, but he would be damned if he let his little brother make him cry, especially in front of so many people. Instead, Akito put his hand out and Kyoya shook it firmly.

Kyoya took his seat next to Haruhi, who hugged his arm and kissed his cheek.

The rest of the event was a joyous celebration. Haruhi was coaxed into standing in a group of younger, single women to try to catch the bride's bouquet. She was less enthusiastic than the others, so she didn't catch it. She was fine with that.

She and Kyoya danced close, like there was no one else in the world.

"You need amazing women, huh?" Haruhi playfully inquired during one of their slow dances.

"Yes. I've found mine, too, you know?"

Haruhi and Kyoya stayed for most of the reception, but excused themselves shortly after the bride and groom left the party. They entered through Kyoya's room, but Haruhi went to her own room to change. She was tired, and her feet ached from wearing heels all night. Upon reaching her room, she immediately removed her shoes, sat on the bed, and rubbed her feet.

The halter ties were easy enough to undo, but she couldn't reach the zipper. Earlier, she had been able to zip the dress most of the way, but Kyoya had to help with the last inch or two. Now, the top of the zipper was out of her reach and she needed help. She called him into her room to help her.

He was already shirtless and shoeless when he entered her room. Kyoya stood behind her as she held the front so it wouldn't fall. He slowly unzipped her dress all the way down. He ran the back of his finger down her bare spine. Haruhi wasn't wearing a bra, so he didn't have to stop to accomplish this. He could feel her shiver.

She turned around, still holding up the front of her dress, and smiled. But the smile was uncomfortable, conveying an It's-not-going-to-happen attitude. Kyoya understood. He wasn't going to push it. He leaned down to kiss her.

"I just want it to be right. I do want you, but I don't think I'd be able to fully enjoy it or give you the proper attention right now. I'm about to drop."

Kyoya sighed. "Okay. Good night." He kissed her cheek and walked back to his own room.

When he was in the doorway, Haruhi spoke up. "Kyoya." He turned to look at her. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Haruhi." He closed the door. In their separate rooms, they both changed into pajamas and went to bed. But neither could sleep, despite being tired. They were going to have to check out in the morning and be at the airport by 3 pm.

After tossing and turning, unable to sleep, Haruhi went to Kyoya's bed. She laid next to him. He put his arm around her, and she laid her head on his chest. He kissed her forehead. She was asleep almost instantly, and Kyoya followed her into slumberland shortly after.


	27. Haruhi's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Host Club finds out about Haruhi and Kyoya's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

The next two months wore on as they had before. The couple ate most of their evening meals together. They took the children on Sunday outings, often inviting one or more of the other former hosts and their families. No one asked Haruhi and Kyoya about the amount of time they were spending together, and they didn't offer the information, but there was some suspicion, especially from the ever-watchful Mori.

***

For Haruhi's 32nd birthday, Kyoya wanted to do something special. He planned a dinner party and invited their mutual friends. He hired a team of nannies to look after all the children.

Hikaru brought a new girlfriend. He introduced the Spanish socialite, Gemma, to the group for the first time. She had dark brown hair, dark eyes, and olive skin. Unlike any of the other women he brought to their functions, Gemma was fluent in Japanese and English as well as her native Spanish, so she could easily understand and participate in the party's conversations.

As servers went around the room with champagne, Kaoru's wife Hayame politely declined. Hayame was typically the first to indulge in adult beverages, so her rejection was highly unusual and caught the group's attention. When she noticed all eyes were on her, she took Kaoru's hand. She looked around with a grin on her face, and announced they were expecting and due in August. The party heartily congratulated the couple.

During dinner, Gemma made an attempt to get to know the long-time friends, but one in particular had caught her interest. While she did want to know more about her boyfriend, she was intrigued by Haruhi as well. She wanted to know how a young woman of common birth became so close with all these handsome young men, and then rose to be a top executive at Suoh Corp.

"Hikaru said you went to school together and were in a club, but not much else. What is a host club, and how exactly does something like that come about?" Gemma asked the party.

"We entertained young ladies after school, usually serving them tea, but often participating in cosplay and events outside normal school hours, like weekend beach vacations and balls," Kyoya offered.

"The idea was Tama-chan's. He convinced all of us to join. It created problems for some more than others, but we all had so much fun," added Hunny.

"What kind of problems?"

"My younger brother, Chika, and I were expected to be strong fighters and deny ourselves. But Tama-chan told me true strength was more about being true to yourself. I gave up the karate club, and Chika didn't like that I ate sweets and carried my stuffed bunny."

"Kyoya's father wasn't pleased when he learned about it, either," Kaoru asserted. Kyoya pushed his glasses up with two fingers as he glared at Kaoru.

"What about you, Haruhi? How did Tamaki convince a girl to entertain other girls?"

"Oh. It wasn't so much that he convinced me. It was more like I had to pay off a debt due to my own clumsiness. I wandered into their club room looking for a place to study. I freaked out a little bit and broke a vase. At first, Tamaki thought I was a boy. It was his idea to let me host. It was at least a week before he realized I was a girl, and he only did because I dropped my ID and he picked it up."

"How could he have possibly thought you were a boy? You're so beautiful."

Haruhi chortled. "Thank you. But I was a scholarship student at the time. I had chopped all my hair off because a neighborhood kid put gum in my hair over break. I wore large glasses that covered a lot of my face. I also couldn't afford a uniform, so I walked the halls wearing jeans and an oversized sweater. I didn't care about my appearance, or if anyone thought I was a boy or girl. I only cared about studying and doing well in school."

Gemma nodded in understanding and asked follow-up questions. The more they talked, the more she wondered about this marvel Tamaki Suoh. She hadn't heard of him, and he wasn't at the table. Finally she gathered the courage to ask about the mystery man.

"So, where is Tamaki now?" The table went silent. She blushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to ask? Hikaru never…"

"Tamaki died in a plane crash, four years ago in May," Hikaru said, looking down at his plate.

Kyoya glared at Hikaru now.  _How could Hikaru be so inconsiderate?_ This evening was going so well. How could he have not told his girlfriend about Tamaki? This was not what he wanted Haruhi to have on her birthday. He turned his gaze from Hikaru to Haruhi, softening.

Haruhi was staring at her own plate, playing with the food. He knew she had been thinking about him. How could she not when they were reminiscing about Host Club days. Those were the good memories, but now, she was focused on the negative, the loss. He could wring Hikaru's neck for this.

Gemma was confused. They'd lost their friend, but the room was more tense than that. No one was saying anything, and she was feeling worse by the second. She didn't know what to say or do to make everything less awkward.

Haruhi looked up from her plate and saw Gemma was struggling. The Spanish beauty needed more than the explanation her boyfriend offered her.

"Gemma, it's okay. You didn't know. Tamaki and I dated throughout high school and college, and married after I graduated. We were living in France and had two children when his plane…"

Haruhi's voice caught in her throat. This was not a conversation she expected to be having tonight. Kyoya took her hand, assuring her, and giving her confidence. "I was a lawyer, and Tamaki's father asked me to move back to Japan to take Tamaki's place at Suoh Corp."

"I see. Oh, Haruhi, I am so sorry. If I had known..." Gemma now had her answers about Haruhi, and she regretted being so nosy.

"You didn't, though. And now you do." Everyone else was quiet, and Kyoya still held her hand. She wouldn't let him let go. If he let go, she would feel the need to flee.

Hikaru broke the silence. "I thought you two were just friends." Everyone looked at him. His arms were crossed, looking annoyed at Kyoya's hand on Haruhi's.

"We were when you asked. Things change," Haruhi responded matter-of-factly.

"When?" He was jealous. It had only been six months since Haruhi had ended their relationship, and now Kyoya was swooping in.

"November, right after my birthday," Kyoya added.

"Congratulations, you two. It's about time! Let's celebrate!" Hunny exclaimed.

"Mitsukuni. We are already celebrating," Mori informed his cousin.

"You've been together for three months already, then? You gave no hints at Christmas. Why haven't you said anything?" Kaoru asked. His face was directed at the couple in question, but his eyes were watching his brooding twin.

"We're adults and don't have to explain ourselves. But we wanted to see if it was going anywhere. Everything has been going at snail speed, and we... I wasn't ready to add anyone else's opinion in the matter. But we are together, and you know now." Haruhi's voice was defiant.

Haruhi wasn't expecting to have this conversation tonight, either, but it was out there now. She didn't appreciate Hikaru's attitude. This relationship wasn't something she and Kyoya had planned, but it was going well and important to her.

After dinner and dessert, the group was led into the library. Kyoya had arranged for tables to be set up in the elegant room with options for guests to choose to play cards or board games or to sit and converse. Haruhi, Kyoya, Hayame, and Hisa played cards at one table while the other guests played board games at other tables.

The atmosphere in the library was lighter than the dining room. Multiple conversations were happening all over the room. Laughter and teasing filled the library. Now that she and Kyoya had made it known they were an item, Haruhi made eye contact with him more.

Hikaru stole glances to the newly announced couple. He still wasn't happy about this development, but Gemma did a good job distracting him when she caught him looking. He hadn't told her he'd dated Haruhi, but she was a perceptive woman. As he watched, though, he noticed something about her he hadn't seen when they were dating. It was something he hadn't seen on her face since before Tamaki died. It was a twinkle in her eyes when she smiled. She was truly smiling.

_Did she ever really smile when we were together? I don't even remember. Kyoya makes her happy. She deserves that._ Now, he only glanced over to make sure he still saw it. Every time he looked, every single time, he saw it there. She loved him.

Kyoya had invited everyone to stay at his house, so as the night wore on, the group grew smaller. The children had long since been put to bed. Haruhi and Kyoya were the last to leave the library. They held hands as they walked up the stairs to his wing of the floor. The other guests were given rooms on the opposite side so they wouldn't wake him when they got up in the morning. He stopped at the room just before his own and opened the door. He'd given Haruhi her own room.

"Mm, I think I'll stay with you tonight," she said, unsure of the words.

"Are you sure? You don't have to. I didn't want to assume you would."

"I'm sure. I sleep better when I'm with you."

There was no more discussion of the matter. Kyoya closed the door to Haruhi's room and they moved further to his bedroom. Once inside, Haruhi positioned herself in front of him and embraced him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Tonight. Everything."

He pulled her away from his body far enough to look her in the eyes. "There's really no need to thank me. I love you, Haruhi. It is my pleasure to do anything within my power to keep you happy."

Kyoya leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips. As his face pulled away from hers, her hands went to his face and brought it back. She kissed him, this time with more passion, catching his bottom lip in her mouth. He brought her closer to him, moving his hands to the small of her back. Her hands shifted from his face to the back of his neck, then into his hair.

She broke the kiss and he kept his forehead on hers. Haruhi grabbed him by the tie and walked backwards toward his bed. There was something different in her eyes. It was determined but mischievous. When the back of her legs were at the bed, she stopped. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

"Are you sure?" Kyoya whispered in her ear.

She nodded. He grinned.

***

Afterward, the naked couple laid entwined for hours. Haruhi had fallen asleep and Kyoya didn't dare move. He wanted to remember this forever. He wanted to remember the feel of her skin on his, the smell of her hair, the peaceful look on her face. Kyoya could spend forever like this.

He whispered to his sleeping love, "I want to be with you always."

Haruhi whispered back, eyes still closed, "Me too, Kyoya."

He smiled and kissed her forehead before falling asleep.


	28. Telling the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi and Kyoya make their relationship known to their families, everyone except Haruhi's children. The only problem is her son finds out anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

After the announcement of their relationship to their friends, Haruhi and Kyoya's lives continued on as their new normal. Kyoya began having meetings with his father regarding better procedures at Ootori facilities. Haruhi worked closely with her father-in-law on projects that had once been close to Tamaki's heart.

The couple spent more and more time with each other. Kyoya had dinner and slept at Kawari almost every night of the week. On the nights he didn't come over, Haruhi went to his home.

The couple, after dating six months, told their families. Yoshio, Kyoya's father, naturally already knew, and had been waiting for his son to tell him. He miraculously approved of the match. It probably had more to do with Haruhi's professional experience and her connection with the Suohs that made it acceptable to him.

Ranka was thrilled. He had always liked Kyoya, and would have preferred if his daughter had dated him instead of Tamaki when they'd been in high school.

Yuzuru had a sadness about him when she told him. He had noticed a change in her since Kyoya had re-entered her life, but he didn't realize how strong the connection was. She made sure he knew she hadn't forgotten his son, and neither had Kyoya. Haruhi had even told him about her dream and how she believed Tamaki would have wanted her to find a new happiness. Further than that, he wouldn't have wanted anyone other than his best friend to take care of her. In the end, he smiled and hugged her, and wished her the best of luck.

In early June, someone else learned of the pairing. Haruhi didn't know how to approach the subject of Kyoya being more than a friend with her children, so they kept it a secret. One night, however, Kazuki woke and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He heard talking coming from the library and found his mother and her "friend" kissing on the sofa. Instead of saying anything, Kazuki ran back to his room, confused, angry.

Kazuki started to rebel. School was out for summer break, but he refused to do his summer homework. He was distracted during his piano lessons. All his tutors were frustrated by his new complacency, and, sometimes, utter disregard for their teachings. There were times he wouldn't attend his lessons at all, choosing instead to run to one end of the property or another and hide.

The tutors brought their complaints to Haruhi, and she grew concerned. She tried talking to him, but he would grunt at her or give her monosyllabic answers. He refused to even look at Kyoya when he spoke to him. Haruhi confided in her father, but Kazuki ran the other direction when faced with an overly dramatic Ranka demanding his grandson tell him what was bothering him.

Haruhi had to call in the big guns. She called Hunny to see if he would bring Fumiko over. Surely Kazuki's best friend could make him feel better.

Hunny agreed to come for lunch. While the two adult friends talked about whatever came to mind, Fumiko ran to find her friend. He was in his room, but he wasn't being himself. He was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"What are you doing?"

Kazuki didn't move, but he shifted his violet eyes to the doorway. He was happy to see Fumiko, but he really didn't feel like moving. He shifted his eyes back to the ceiling. "Nothing."

"My dad said you're being a brat."

"He did not. Hunny-sama wouldn't say something like that."

"True. He said you were causing some trouble. I called you a brat."

"I'm not a brat." He furrowed his brow and shifted his gaze back to the tiny blonde in the doorway.

"Really? Your mom called and wanted me to help. What's going on?"

"Why? So you can tell her?"

Fumiko sassily placed her hands on her hips. "I wouldn't tell her anything, and she didn't ask. She just wants to see if I can help. She's a grown-up. But when a grown-up asks a kid for help, it's serious."

Kazuki sighed and sat up. He turned toward his friend. She had only just turned seven, but they'd known each other their whole lives. Fumiko could see right through him.

"I saw mom kissing Kyoya-sama."

"So?"

"So. That means she's forgotten my dad."

"I don't think so. She still has that shrine, doesn't she?"

"Yeah."

Fumiko grabbed his hand and dragged him to the shrine room. The path from the door to the shrine to Kazuki's father was well worn, and there was a new rose in a vase of water.

"Look. She hasn't forgotten."

"Fine." Kazuki crossed his arms and looked away from the shrine. "Maybe she hasn't. But Kyoya-sama has. He was my dad's best friend and now he's kissing my mom."

"I don't think Kyoya-sama has forgotten your dad, either. It probably makes stuff harder, you know? You're my best friend. If you died, I wouldn't ever forget about you."

The small boy turned and stared at his friend. He hadn't thought about that. "I wouldn't forget you, either, Fumiko."

"My parents talk about your dad sometimes, and your mom, and Kyoya-sama. They don't think I can hear them, but I'm pretty sneaky. I think you should talk to your mom."

Kazuki shook his head. "I wouldn't know what to say. I just don't want Kyoya-sama to replace my dad. He isn't my dad no matter what he does or how hard he tries."

Fumiko sighed, not sure what to do. "You can do what you want, I guess, but your mom seems happy. When we were at Kyoya-sama's house for her birthday, I saw her smiling. I think that's the first time I've ever seen her smile."

"She smiles," Kazuki retorted defiantly.

"Some, but before she started kissing Kyoya-sama, those smiles were just on her face. Her eyes were never smiling. Her eyes smile now, even when her face doesn't sometimes."

The boy was quiet for a little bit. He would be eight next month, and this was too much to deal with. Why couldn't things just be like they were?

"Let's go outside to play!" Fumiko grabbed his hand again and dragged him out of the shrine room and then out of the house.


	29. Out to the Ballgame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At her wits end with her son's rebellion, Haruhi enlists Kyoya to bond with him more, man-to-man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

"I don't know what to do," Haruhi complained. She had been laying her head on Kyoya's chest and thinking about her son for an hour.

Kazuki had gone from subtle rebellion to open hostility toward everyone over the past month. Most of his tutors resigned their positions when he completely stopped doing his work. Risa attempted to love on him to help cheer him up, but he tolerated her less and less. He yelled at her and pushed her away enough that she now avoided him.

Kyoya kissed her forehead and caressed her arm. He didn't know what to tell her.

"He's so surly. Maybe you could talk to him?"

"Me? I'm not sure that's the best idea. He is rude toward everyone, but it's because of me." Kazuki knew about his mother's new relationship, and he was old enough to have an opinion.

"I still don't think he knows. How could he have found out about us?"

Haruhi was in denial. She simply didn't want to believe her Kazuki knew about her relationship with Kyoya. They'd been so careful. They were going to tell the kids soon, but she still wasn't ready. She also didn't want to think her son would take it so badly if he did know.

"No idea. But you should still try. Maybe a man-to-man talk will help." She was grasping at straws.

"I will try, but I can make no guarantees."

Three days later, Kyoya and Kazuki were on their way to a baseball game at the Tokyo Dome. Kyoya's own father never took him to baseball games or did anything fun with him or his brothers. Yoshio Ootori was all about business.

Kazuki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms the entire trip to the Tokyo Dome, but he was excited for the game. No one had ever taken him to a game, but he had watched them.

He gave short answers to Kyoya when he was asked questions, but he still had fun. Kyoya let him have a hot dog and a giant soda at the beginning of the game. It wasn't fine cuisine or anything like his mother's cooking, but there was something about the ballpark food that made it a treat.

The game was thrilling. There was a vast difference between experiencing baseball in person and watching it on television. The energy of the crowd was electrifying and there were so many people from all over the country in attendance.

Kyoya almost caught a home run ball, but the ball bounced off the tip of his glove, allowing a kid a few rows back to catch it. He pretended he meant for it to happen exactly that way, but Kazuki had seen the briefest glimpse of disappointment on Kyoya's face. Kyoya would have loved for Kazuki to be able to take home a rare home run ball, maybe even signed after the game.

Kazuki was impressed that Kyoya got them VIP passes, so they were able to meet the players once the game was over. Many pictures were taken and Kazuki had the biggest smile plastered on his face.

After the game, Kyoya took Kazuki to get dinner. Appealing to the child's simpler tastes, Kyoya chose a ramen shop. The boy chattered about the game in the car on the way to the ramen shop, but didn't say much once they arrived, feeling Kyoya's ulterior motive and a talk was coming.

Kyoya knew he had an important topic to tackle before this outing was over. He broached the subject after their meal was delivered to their table.

"Kazuki. I'm vaguely aware you may have learned something about your mother and me. Something you are not happy about."

Kazuki slumped in his chair in sullen silence. He didn't want to talk about this.

"I want you to know your mother and I have been seeing each other. She didn't know how to tell you, but you're an intelligent young man. I know you know."

Kazuki stared at Kyoya, but said nothing.

"I want you to know I love your mother. I love her more than anyone else in the world, and I would never hurt her. I love you and your sister as well, as much as if you were my own."

Kazuki crossed his arms and squinted his eyes at Kyoya, suspicious.

"I would do everything in my power to make you, Risa, and your mother happy. And, Kazuki, I know I could never replace your father. Tamaki was a great man, and I could never hope to fill his shoes. But I do want to be a part of your lives."

Kyoya pulled a box out of his pocket and set it down in front of the child. Kazuki uncrossed his arms and opened the black velvet box to find a diamond ring. He'd seen enough movies and read enough books to know this was an engagement ring. Kyoya wanted to marry his mom. He pushed the box away, closing the lid on the precious gem. He recrossed his arms.

"I want to ask your mother to marry me, but I won't do so until I have your permission."

"I'll think about it. And I won't tell mom about the ring." He didn't really approve of Kyoya-sama's relationship with his mother, but he knew it was important that he not spoil the surprise.

"I appreciate that. Here's my card. You can call me anytime, day or night, though I do sleep late, so it's probably best not to call early in the morning."

Kazuki took the card from the table and put it in his pocket. The pair finished their ramen and returned to Kawari. Kazuki went straight to bed, ignoring his mother's questions about how his day was.

Kyoya watched the boy race up the stairs. Haruhi turned to him and sighed. He pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I think everything will be okay. He just needs time to process a few things."

In his room, Kazuki plopped on his bed. He had a lot to figure out.

Before he saw him and his mom kissing, he had liked Kyoya-sama. He was always nice to him and his sister. He didn't play as much as he remembered his dad playing, but he treated them well. Tonight, he had spoken to Kazuki as if he were an adult. No one had ever really done that. Everyone treated him like a kid, even though he was going to be eight in only two weeks. He had a big decision to make, and he was going to need to prepare to do some research.

Operation Mom and Kyoya-sama would be underway starting tomorrow!


	30. Watchful Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazuki studies his mother's relationship and finally talks to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

The bright boy with brown locks kept a watchful blue eye on his mother and Kyoya over the next couple of months. He had plenty of opportunity to observe. Unbeknownst to Kazuki, Kyoya had convinced her they didn't need to hide from the children, so they held hands and stole innocent kisses on occasion. Haruhi had been apprehensive about showing affection in front of the kids, but neither of them seemed to mind much.

Kazuki was processing, and Risa was perfectly fine with it. Kyoya had helped her when she was hurt, and had been in her life ever since. Risa began hugging and kissing Kyoya on the cheek in the form of greeting and good night before she went to bed.

For his birthday at the end of July, Kyoya gave Kazuki a poster of his favorite baseball team signed by all the players and a baseball glove. He offered to practice with him as well. In his observations, he saw Kyoya treated his mother well. His mom smiled and laughed a lot when Kyoya was near. He realized how much he had missed that. Haruhi's laughter was like music to his ears. Even better, her smiles and laughter replaced the tears he knew she cried in secret.

_If I let Kyoya-sama marry my mom, will she always smile and laugh like this? Will she be happy?_

Kazuki had never been granted so much power. The potential happiness of his mother and Kyoya rested on his eight-year-old shoulders. He didn't know what to do.

One night in late August, Haruhi and the children returned from visiting Kaoru and Hayame, Toichi, and their newest addition, a baby girl they named Hana. Kyoya had not gone with them. The group was tired when they arrived home. Risa had fallen asleep in the car, so Haruhi carried her to her bedroom, changed her, tucked her in, settled Beary next to her, and kissed her forehead. Kazuki had also fallen asleep in the car, but woke when the car stopped at the house. He went straight to his room and dressed in pajamas of his own accord.

He was just sneaking under his blankets when Haruhi walked in. She sat on the bed next to him to tuck him in and kiss his forehead. She was about to get up when Kazuki's little voice squeaked, "Mom?"

She turned to her little boy. "Yes?"

"Mom, do you love Kyoya-sama?"

She gave him a soft smile. "I do."

"More than you loved Dad?"

Haruhi took a deep breath. She knew this was the conversation she'd been wanting to avoid. This was why she wanted to keep her relationship secret. "Not more than Dad. The only ones I'll love more than Dad are you and your sister. But I love him in almost the same way, almost as much."

"If you marry him, will he be our new dad?"

"He would be your stepfather, but he won't be your dad. What makes you think I'll marry him? Where did that idea come from?"

"Do you want to? Fumiko's parents are married. All of my friends' parents are married."

Haruhi sighed. "Kazuki, people don't just get married to be married, or I don't. I married your dad because we loved each other and wanted to be together forever. We wanted to share our lives and create a new life. Fate allowed me to be with him for his forever, but he wasn't able to be mine."

"So you do want to marry Kyoya-sama?"

Haruhi looked away from her son, staring out into space. She had thought about the idea, but not a lot. It was difficult to focus on any kind of picture of the future. She didn't want to give herself false hope.

"Yes, I think so, if he asked. He makes me happier than I thought possible after your dad died. It took a lot of time, and we've both had to heal so much to get to where we are, but I do love him, and I want him to be my new forever. Tamaki is forever in my heart, and Kyoya will never replace him there. He knows that and wants to share my heart with your father's memory."

There were tears streaming down her face. Kazuki couldn't stand that he'd made his mother cry. He sat up and hugged Haruhi, shedding his own tears.

"Mommy, don't cry. I love you."

Her attention was brought in full back to her young son. She wrapped her arms around Kazuki, rocking him.

"Oh sweetie, I love you too. But, listen, don't you worry. No matter what happens, I'll always love you and your sister. Whether I marry Kyoya or not, if I stay single forever or find someone new, I will always be here. My beautiful boy, you have such an amazing heart. But please, don't worry so much about this complicated world of grown-ups. I just need you to be you, to play with your friends, and be nicer to your sister. Mommy is pretty sure she knows what she's doing. Now," she kissed his forehead, "it's time for sleep. You have school tomorrow, and it's way past your bedtime."

She flipped his light off as she left the room, and then closed the door. She propped herself against his door. She had revealed a little too much to her son. Haruhi never wanted her children to be burdened with growing up too fast, but it seemed she couldn't stop Kazuki from taking a little too much after her in that department.

 

* * *

 

The next day, after school, Kazuki snuck into Haruhi's home office. She was at Suoh Corp headquarters working with his grandfather today. He pulled out Kyoya's card and dialed.

"Hello?" Kyoya answered. He didn't recognize the number, but answered because not just anyone had his personal cell phone number.

"Kyoya-sama?"

"Yes?"

"This is Kazuki."

"Where are you calling from, Kazuki?"

"Mom's home office. She's working with Grandfather today."

"I see." Understanding washed over Kyoya. He didn't recognize the number because Haruhi never called him from her office phone.

"Kyoya-sama, you can marry her. But don't make her cry sad tears. You have to make her smile and laugh forever."

"You've got a deal, Kazuki."


	31. Reaching Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoya struggles with how he's going to propose to Haruhi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

Kyoya set his inactive cell phone on his desk after speaking with Kazuki. Alone in his office, he smiled. That instant of joy was followed by a wave of anxiety, something he didn't often feel.

_Am I really thinking about asking my best friend's widow to marry me? Yes, definitely. And when am I supposed to do that?_

If the world hadn't been so cruel, Tamaki, ever the romantic, would normally have been the person to give him this kind of advice.

_What would Tamaki do?_

_No. I can't think about what he would do. I am not Tamaki. I just need to be me. How do I want to do this?_

Kyoya was exasperated. He needed help, something he didn't often admit. He picked his cell phone up and dialed Kaoru, who agreed to meet him at his house later that evening. Haruhi had a business dinner tonight, so he was confident she wouldn't show up and interrupt the extremely personal conversation he would have with Kaoru.

Kaoru entered Kyoya's house without knocking. Though some things change, some things remain the same. He strolled into Kyoya's office.

"So, what's the emergency?"

Kyoya looked up from his laptop and adjusted his glasses. "Not an emergency, but I do need assistance. But you can't say anything, not to anyone, not even Hikaru."

Kaoru crossed his arms. "I don't tell Hikaru everything," he spat, defiantly.

"You tell him enough. And I don't want this out. Can I trust you?"

"Yeah, yeah. What is it?" He plopped himself in a chair opposite Kyoya.

"I want to ask Haruhi to marry me. I have a ring, and Kazuki has given me permission. But I don't even know where to start."

"Wow. Well, you know Haruhi better than anyone else. Start with something she'd like. First decision is if you want it to be public, private, or semi-public?"

"Semi-public?"

"You take her to a restaurant, just the two of you, and ask. A somewhat private moment that might be overheard by others. If someone does see or overhear, they'll come over and congratulate you after she says yes. If she says no, they won't say anything, just feel embarrassed for you. Word would probably get around, too, because people know you're an Ootori and she's a Suoh."

"Private. Just the two of us. Maybe at my house or hers, or where there aren't spectators."

"Haruhi would probably appreciate that, too. There's less pressure. She might want to think about it. A public setting might force her to say yes when she isn't sure. Are you sure she wants to marry you?"

"I won't know unless I ask."

"What about your father? How does the great Yoshio Ootori feel about you marrying Tamaki Suoh's widow?"

"Father hasn't said much. He approves of the match and he wants a secure lineage. Haruhi has proven herself over and over to be an asset in the business world. He drops hints on occasion about marriage and children, but he's not ready to give up the reins and retire just yet, either. Once I am named heir, he knows he'll have to back out of the majority of the daily operations in the company. He will still be available on a consulting basis, but he's not quite prepared for a life of leisure, so he hasn't pushed too hard for anything."

"Fair enough, but I'd hate for you to go through all of this only to discover your father has arranged another marriage for you or decides Haruhi isn't good enough. He'd be an idiot to do either of those things, but it would make all this effort a waste of everyone's time."

"My father is a lot of things, but an idiot is not one of them. Back on topic, Kaoru."

"Okay, okay. If you want to be private, you just have to think of when. Are you going to plan ahead or do something special? Or do you just want to wing it?"

"That's what I don't know. I'm not a fan of 'winging it,' though. What did you do?"

Kaoru chuckled, imagining Kyoya proposing to Haruhi in the same way he proposed to Hayame. "No. You aren't me and my wife isn't Haruhi. Before we were married, Hayame was a bit of a wild child. She was up for any adventure, so the circumstances leading up to our engagement were no exception. Haruhi would never skydive."

"She likes the beach. Maybe we could take a break and head to my family's private beach for a few days to unwind. That wouldn't be too out of the ordinary. It would be nice to go before the weather starts cooling down."

"She'd probably go for that. Good luck getting her to take time off work, though, and not take the kids."

"The kids could come along. I wouldn't mind. I just wouldn't want them around when I do the actual proposing. Haruhi is low-key, so I don't want to do anything fancy or over-the-top. But if the children were watching, it would be more pressure. I'll figure it out. Thanks for coming over."

"No problem. This new baby has a really good set of lungs. She hasn't let anyone in the house get any sleep since she came home two weeks ago. We had to send Toichi to stay with my parents for a while. The poor little guy was so crabby because he couldn't sleep and he was so worried about his baby sister. But I should go now. I promised Hayame I would help her as much as I could in our newest adventure, the impossible baby Hana."

Kaoru left, and Kyoya had a plan. Now all he had to do was put it in motion.


	32. Beach Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoya invites Haruhi and the children to his private beach house where he has a big question to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

Convincing Haruhi to take time off work was more difficult than Kyoya thought it would be. She was extremely busy and working directly with Yuzuru Suoh. She expressed an interest in the idea when he brought it up because it had been a long time since she had been to the beach, but couldn't fathom leaving with so much going on, even for an extended weekend.

Seeing his carefully laid plans disintegrating, Kyoya called Yuzuru himself, who later suggested to Haruhi that she take a little break and some time for herself. Only then did she agree on the trip.

The couple and the children left Friday after school let out, and would return the following Monday. The children were excited for the trip. They loved the beach, and love that they would get to spend more time with their mother. Their nanny was invited to join them, which they were not so thrilled about.

At the beach house, the only hired help was the nanny they brought with them and a maid. Haruhi had persuaded Kyoya to not get a chef for the weekend. She wanted to do all the cooking for her family for the next few days.

It was early September, so the weather was still warm. The family spent the days on the beach and swimming. Even Kyoya left his laptop behind and joined in the fun. Haruhi helped the children comb the beach for seashells, and Kyoya assisted the construction of a sandcastle.

Their evenings mostly consisted of bathing to get all the sand and saltwater off their skin and out of their hair, then sitting around playing board games or watching television until they fell asleep.

On Sunday night, the last night of the trip, Kazuki and Risa were engrossed in a children's program on television they could actually agree on. The nanny sat in a chair with a careful eye on her charges.

Now was the time. Kyoya entered the bedroom where Haruhi had dragged her luggage out.

"Let's go for a walk along the beach," Kyoya offered.

"I'd like to start packing."

"We'll have plenty of time to pack tomorrow."

"I might, but  _you_  will sleep until noon and have no time."

"Let's enjoy our last night. A walk on the beach, just the two of us, to relax before we have to return to the real world." He slipped his arms around her back. "The kids have eaten and bathed, and the nanny is watching them."

Haruhi sighed deeply. "I guess." She grabbed a thin wrap to cover her arms, and they walked out of the beach house hand-in-hand.

They walked along the beach, still holding hands, out of sight of the house. The salt air was warm and refreshing. The night was clear, and the stars were out. It was a private beach, so it was deserted. It was only Haruhi and Kyoya.

Kyoya stopped, laid a towel down on the beach, and sat down. He beckoned for Haruhi to join him. As she sat, she kissed Kyoya. The couple leaned against each other and drank in the view of stars and ocean waves.

"If it were in my power, we would stay like this forever," Kyoya said in a soft voice.

"If only you had that kind of magic. This break was long overdue and this night has been perfect."

"Not even an Ootori has the power to stop time. But I may have a thing or two to say about the forever part." Kyoya pulled something out of the pocket opposite of where Haruhi was sitting. He put it in her hand unopened.

Haruhi glanced down at the velvet box in her hand, then stared into Kyoya's eyes, but she didn't say a word. What could she say? Her heart sped up and a million thoughts raced through her mind, but none that she could put into coherent words.

"Haruhi, I love you more than I ever thought possible to love anyone. In all the time we've known each other, we've individually experienced some of life's greatest highs and lowest lows, but I want us to face the rest of our lives facing them together."

Kyoya shifted himself so that he was sitting in front of her on his knees. "Will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?"

She gave him a weak smile, then averted her gaze to the velvet box. She stared at it for what seemed an eternity to Kyoya, then whispered, "Yes."

"If you don't want to, or you need to think about it, you can." Kyoya allowed, not hearing her verbal response.

She quickly looked up at him. Her eyes were watery. "I don't need time to think about it anymore," Haruhi stated, louder this time. "I've thought about it enough. I want to marry you, Kyoya Ootori."

Smiling, trembling, Kyoya opened the box. A simple engagement ring sat inside. It was a single solitaire princess cut diamond with a simple white gold band. It was beautiful and understated, just like Haruhi.

He took the ring out of the box and slipped in on her finger. They were both shaking, and when they looked up from her hand they were looking into each other's eyes. They kissed once, twice, three times. The initial awkwardness wore off and their kisses became more passionate, more intense.

Upon returning to the beach house, they took a shower together. Their passion on the beach left sand in all the wrong places. Once they'd rinsed the majority of the sand off each other, they made love again.

 

* * *

 

The following morning, Haruhi began packing for the trip home. She kept getting distracted by the new ring on her finger. She couldn't help comparing to her first engagement ring, and last night's events to her first proposal.

_Tamaki had just successfully completed a project for Suoh Corp. There was going to be a gala in celebration. Haruhi, a first-year graduate student at Todai, was expected to attend on the arm of her boyfriend. It was supposed to be business associates and clients, but it didn't surprise her that Tamaki had also invited their closest friends._

_Mori and his girlfriend, Hisa, attended, as did Hunny and Reiko, who had married earlier that year. Hikaru and Kaoru with dates, but Kyoya had been unable to get away from his studies at Harvard. The evening was as normal as any other gala she had been to, full of small talk and fake smiles._

_Yuzuru took the stage after dinner and dessert had been served and enjoyed, but before the dancing portion of the evening would begin. He offered his heartfelt congratulations to Tamaki and told him how proud he was, then asked him to come up to say a few words._

_The speech given by Tamaki was full of gratitude to those who had helped him become successful in his endeavor. Guests applauded graciously. He had looked like he was about to leave the stage and then he added, "I nearly forgot. To the woman who makes all things in my life possible, Ms. Haruhi Fujioka!" He raised his glass and then asked her to come to the stage._

_Haruhi blushed at the attention, but couldn't deny the request. When she stood on the stage next to Tamaki, this ridiculous, beautiful man she loved, he took her hand and got down on one knee. Her eyes widened. He spoke to her directly, but still held the microphone to his mouth in one hand._

" _My darling Haruhi, I could not imagine my life without you in it. You are my everything, and you showed me a world I could never have dreamed when you stumbled into my life. Please marry me!"_

_He put the microphone down and pulled a ring out of his pocket, never releasing her hand, but she didn't even glance at the ring in his hand. She had looked at his face, into his eyes. Tamaki was still the showman, but he had grown so much. In that moment, despite a room full of people, no one else had existed. She agreed and he put the ring on her finger._

_The weight of that ring dragged her hand down, and then she finally saw it. It was humongous. It was a yellow gold double halo ring with a 2-carat center-set cushion diamond and smaller diamonds all around the band._

The reverie brought her a sense of sadness, but she didn't cry. Sooner rather than later, she would be Mrs. Ootori instead of the widow Suoh. She would also be at the head of two families while raising her son to become the Suoh heir, and marrying the Ootori heir and raising any children they might have.

A big future question mark dawned on her. Did she want more children? She and Kyoya had never discussed it, but she assumed he did. She recalled his excitement about becoming a father when Suzume was carrying his child. He had said he loved Kazuki and Risa as his own, but they were not Ootoris. In addition, his father had told him he would be the heir if he produced one of his own. Yoshio Ootori would be damned if Suohs inherited his empire.

She stopped packing and sat on the bed, mulling over the idea. She glanced over at Kyoya, who was still sleeping. His bags were already packed.  _He must have done that after I fell asleep last night._

Haruhi smiled at the thought of a new baby, one that looked like Kyoya. He was amazing with her children and their friends' kids. He would be an awesome father.

_Why did I even pause to question this? Of course I want to have children with Kyoya_.

She leaned over and brushed the hair out his face and placed a kiss on his cheek. Then she moved back to the edge of the bed to finish packing.


	33. Announcements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi and Kyoya announce their engagement to those most important to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

They returned from the beach vacation late Sunday afternoon. Servants came out to carry their luggage as soon as they pulled up to Kawari, which still caused Haruhi to shake her head.

As they entered the house, Kazuki started to race upstairs to play a video game his mother had forbidden him to take along. Haruhi stopped him and told him and Risa to go to the drawing room. She wanted to discuss something with them. Kazuki grumbled, but did as he was told.

The children sat on the sofa while the adults stood opposite them. Kyoya was excited to tell them the news, though he didn't show it. Haruhi could see his excitement, though, and it made her that much more nervous.

It was something they had to do eventually, and she did want her children to be the first to know. The kids exchanged anxious glances, worried they were in trouble, racking their brains as to what they could have done wrong.

Haruhi kneeled down to meet the kids eye-to-eye and reached out to hold each of her kids' hands.

"Kazuki, Risa. Something big is coming soon and it will mean a lot of changes, but I want you to know I love you and that will never, ever change." She gave them a soft smile, let go of their hands, and then stood next to Kyoya. "Kyoya-sama and I will be getting married."

Risa squealed and jumped from the sofa, releasing her brother's hand. She ran to Kyoya and gave him a big, teary hug and kiss on his cheek. Then she did the same to Haruhi and ran out of the room. Kazuki's reaction was more subdued. He smiled at them, then stood to give his mother a hug. He shook Kyoya's hand and gestured for him to meet him face-to-face.

"Remember. No sad tears," he uttered in a low whisper when Kyoya was close enough. Kyoya nodded. Kazuki walked out of the room with a smile on his face. He had a warm feeling, a good feeling, that he had done the right thing.

"What did he say?"

Kyoya straightened and cleared his throat. "Guy stuff."

Haruhi pursed her lips, but dropped the subject. Kyoya and Kazuki had a secret that bonded them. That was perfectly fine in her book. They needed to figure out how and when to tell the other people in their lives now.

 

* * *

 

Haruhi would have told Yuzuru when she returned to the office on Tuesday, but he had taken the opportunity to go on his own vacation and wouldn't return until the next day. She met him in his office Wednesday morning. She wasn't sure how to broach the subject until he asked how she enjoyed her time away.

"We went to the beach, and Kyoya proposed." The words had just spilled out. She covered her mouth, and watched his gaze shift to her recently adorned hand, then back to her face, eyes wide. Yuzuru rushed around his desk to Haruhi, tears glistening in his eyes, and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I am so happy for you, Haruhi! I had an idea that he would ask, and I am so thrilled he did!"

"Yuzuru, you aren't upset?"

"No, my dear girl. How could I be? You are happy, right?"

She nodded, unable to produce the words, but also unable to stop smiling.

"Well, then. That's all that's truly important. Plus, Tamaki would be ecstatic you are so loved in his absence."

Once they'd dried their tears and freshened their faces a bit, the Suohs went back to work. In her office, Haruhi still couldn't stop smiling.

 

* * *

 

The following week, Kyoya and Haruhi sat at his parents' table at the Ootori mansion. Kyoya had requested the dinner the same day Haruhi spoke with Yuzuru, but this evening, nearly a week later, was the first date available for both his parent and siblings. Around them sat his parents, his brother Yuuichi and his wife, Masako, and his sister Fuyumi and her husband, Isao. The plates were cleared, and it was time for Kyoya to tell his family why he'd gathered them.

"I have asked Haruhi to marry me. She has agreed," Kyoya stated formally. He didn't get much of a reaction.

His father wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin. "I already knew that. She did wear the engagement ring, after all. I do congratulate the two of you, and welcome you into the family, Haruhi. Now, if you will excuse me." Yoshio Ootori retired into another room.

His mother, now that his father was gone, was more cheerful about the announcement. Yuuichi mumbled his regards, while his wife just stared at her glass. Haruhi guessed they were seeing Yuuichi's future as heir to the Ootori empire slipping away. Fuyumi and Isao congratulated them with genuine enthusiasm. Fuyumi got out of her chair to give Haruhi and Kyoya a hug at the same time. Just as she was about to sit, Yoshio returned. He had the closest thing to a smile Haruhi had ever seen on his face, and he was carrying a bottle of champagne to celebrate the occasion.

Later in the evening, Masako caught Haruhi alone. Out of the blue, she hugged Haruhi. Haruhi was confused, but her future sister-in-law explained.

"Don't you see? Kyoya's marriage to you takes so much pressure off Yuuichi. He just wants to be a doctor. He wouldn't be any good at running all of it. Kyoya has always been much better suited to the position, even if he is the youngest. When you have your own children, Yuuichi can relax and just be the best doctor he can be."

Haruhi never saw that one coming. She decided to keep it to herself as well. She didn't think Yuuichi would want Kyoya to know something so intimate just yet.

 

* * *

 

Haruhi visited her father the next day with the children. Kyoya was supposed to come along, but was called away to work. As soon as Ranka opened the door, Risa latched herself to his leg, and Kazuki jumped up to wrap himself around him in a hug. They loved their Papa Ranka. In turn, Ranka loved them to pieces. Once he detached himself from their hold on him, he gave them candy.

"Dad, I've told you over and over not to give them so many sweets."

"Oh! But Haruhi! I want to spoil my grandbabies when I can. Besides, I can spend my money however I want, so why wouldn't I want to spend it treating these darlings?"

"Guess what, Papa Ranka!" Kazuki exclaimed, already on a bit of a sugar high after eating two pieces of candy.

"What, Kazuki?"

"Mom's getting married! We went to the beach, and Kyoya-sama asked her, and she said yes!"

Suddenly serious, Ranka turned to Haruhi. "Is this true, Haruhi?"

Haruhi flashed the ring at her father.

The concern on his face was unmistakable. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Well, as long as you're sure!" Ranka was back to his upbeat self, gushing about the ring and all the planning that needed to be done while still feeding Kazuki and Risa candy.

 

* * *

 

Haruhi was worn out by the time she got home. The car ride back to the house was not pleasant. Both of the kids were basically bouncing all over the vehicle, distracting the driver and giving Haruhi a headache. They were always like this after a visit with her father, so she should have expected it.

When they got home, she sent them both outside to play to run off all their sugar energy. She made a mental note to make dental appointments for both children. Kyoya was there waiting, apologizing for missing the announcement to Ranka. The call he'd received had been a false alarm, but it was too late to join her by the time he was done at the hospital.

"It's okay. All's well, and Dad sends his love."

He wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned into him, enjoying his calm, listening to his heartbeat and his steady breathing as they stood together.

Then she pulled away. "We need to tell our friends. But I don't want to personally visit every one of them."

"We don't need to." Kyoya pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned the camera on. "Smile, and show the ring." He stood next to her and took the picture.

He sent the picture to Mori, Hunny, Hikaru, and Kaoru with the caption "There will be a wedding soon!" He received immediate responses from all of them with congratulations and offers to help, though most of the offers weren't actually very helpful.

The guys told their wives, who all privately messaged Haruhi and Kyoya with their own well wishes.


	34. Future Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

"Where are we going to live?" Haruhi asked Kyoya one night a few weeks after their engagement announcements. She and Kyoya hadn't made any plans beyond the decision to get married. She didn't mind; she like the idea of just being engaged.

What did bother her was the incessant questions from everyone else in her life and the pressure to make plans. And she was starting to cave, even if it was just to shut them up.

Kyoya hadn't received the same amount of attention regarding their plans (sometimes it was good to be the Shadow King), but he knew several people were pushing Haruhi. He had opinions on some of the issues, but didn't want to bring them up until she was ready to discuss them.

They were laying in her bed, side-by-side, and his arm was around her. He caressed her arm with his thumb as he answered. "I thought you would live with me at one of the Ootori estates before eventually moving into the mansion. Or did you want want to continue living here at the Kawari?"

"Well, my office is here and I'd hate to leave Yuzuru. He stops by often and dotes on his grandchildren because we're so close to the main house."

"He can dote on them anytime he wants in the new house."

"The kids' rooms are here. Risa doesn't even remember living anywhere else."

"They'll be fine. Kids are resilient. They will still attend Ouran Academy and have the best of everything."

"Your parents still live in the Ootori mansion." She didn't want to move, but she didn't want to argue about it with Kyoya. She hoped to convince him with solid, sound reason. If anyone could be swayed in such a manner, it was Kyoya.

"We wouldn't move there until I am officially the heir. At that time, my parents would move into the smaller mansion, the one I'm currently in. It would be a trade. They wouldn't need that much space or want to be around small children full-time, anyway."

"Your parents don't like my children?" Her tone was playful, a sly smile formed at the corner of her mouth.

"I didn't say that. I said they wouldn't want to be around children all the time. Not just yours, or ours, when we have them, but our friends' kids when they visit as well. No, they'll want to live elsewhere."

"So, why don't you move in with me until you're named the heir? Instead of picking up my kids and my life to move to your house, then move again to the Ootori mansion, possibly within the next couple of years?"

Kyoya sighed and she knew she had him. Haruhi was being stubborn on this, but she had a point. "Fine. I will live with you at Kawari, but only until the Ootori mansion is available. I will have a discussion with my father regarding their plans once I'm named heir."

Haruhi turned on her side to look at him. She wrapped an arm around his bare chest and kissed him, grinning like she had just won a big case.

 

* * *

 

Haruhi was poring over bridal magazines and travel brochures in her home office when Kyoya arrived one late October evening. She heard him enter, but barely looked up. She was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information stacked in front of her. How could there be so many options?

During the planning phase of her wedding to Tamaki, she had been busy finishing her degree, so his mother arranged most of the details. Haruhi barely had a say in anything, which is how she liked it. She didn't care about the little things as long as she got to marry Tamaki.

But this time, she had all the say. She wanted to be more hands-on this time around because she didn't want it to be the extravaganza she'd had before. Haruhi wanted small and intimate, and if she asked anyone else to help, their tastes would conflict with her simpler ones, but she underestimated the task she had taken on.

Kyoya could see the frustration on her face and tension in her shoulders. Without a word, he slipped behind her and began rubbing her back. She leaned back into the massage a little, and he could feel her relax a bit under his fingers.

Feeling her muscles loosen, Haruhi tilted her head back to look up at Kyoya, who placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She smiled up at him, and he returned the gesture.

"So, where are we getting married?" His voice was light, almost teasing.

"Ugh." She pulled away from his strong hands and slumped toward her magazine-littered desk. "I don't know. Somewhere in Japan. That would be convenient for everyone."

He sat in a chair opposite her, and pushed his glasses up with a slight frown on his face. "You know, I don't care what's most convenient. I care about what  _you_ want."

"I want to not inconvenience our guests."

Kyoya sat in silence. It would be more convenient to marry in Japan, for him, her, and everyone else.

Haruhi flipped through more magazines. "A garden wedding might be nice."

She showed him a magazine article of a couple getting married in a forest-like garden with orange, red, and yellow leaves on the trees. "Maybe in autumn with bright fall foliage," she flipped to another page in the same magazine and showed him an image of a couple in a flower garden surrounded by cherry trees, "or even a spring wedding in a garden when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom."

That surprised him. "I thought you didn't care about cherry blossoms."

"Eh." She shrugged, and that was the end of that discussion.

"Spring or fall? That narrows down a date. It's too late to have a fall wedding this year, but we could do spring or fall next year."

"If we wait until fall, we'll be engaged for over a year. I'd rather not have a long engagement. I'm not set on the garden wedding. I like this, too." She handed him another magazine. This one had several sticky notes on its pages with Haruhi's scribbles all over them. She turned it to a page advertising a resort in Okinawa specializing in beach weddings.

"You do love the beach. Also, this would be very little trouble to book. It's owned by Suoh Corp, after all."

"Huh?"

Kyoya pointed out a logo at the bottom of the page.

"I still don't know about all of the holdings. There are so many. I don't want to bother Yuzuru with this. I'll find somewhere else."

"I guarantee Yuzuru would be honored if you were married at one of his finest resorts. If nothing else, it will show Japanese society he is completely accepting of his daughter-in-law's remarriage."

Haruhi glanced at the two magazines. The one with the beach wedding had significantly more sticky notes marking things she liked. She shrugged, admitting defeat.

"We've settled on the venue, then. We'll want to avoid the rainy season in May and season rules out September and October. That leaves the summer months. How about early August?"

"Sure," she nodded.

"What about guests? How big do you want this to be?"

"As small as we can. Our friends, their wives and children, my dad, Yuzuru, your parents, your siblings and their spouses, some colleagues, and a few business associates we know would be offended if they didn't at least receive an invite." She took a deep breath. "I'd love for Akito and Sarah to come."

He looked up from the magazine and notes he had been skimming. "Me too, but don't count on it. We'll send them an invitation, of course, but they both have hectic schedules. My father would make it difficult for them as well. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to keep them from leaving the country out of spite. But he's just as likely to freeze them out."

Haruhi's eyes met Kyoya's, and she shook her head. "Don't be so hard on your father. He isn't an easy man, but I think he still loves Akito. He did the best he could, and thought he was doing what was best for his family. He was disappointed in Akito's choices, and he probably regrets being so hard on him that he drove him away. I'm sure he would be delighted to know he has a grandchild on the way."

"My father doesn't really do  _delighted_."

Haruhi gave him a withering look.

"Sarah isn't very far along, but I don't think Akito wants Father to know. When he told me, he asked me not to mention it to anyone but you. Perhaps, after the baby is born, he'll want me to tell Father. Even then, I won't do so without Akito's permission.

"We should honeymoon in America then. We can spend time with them."

"A honeymoon in California? A family visit doesn't romantic in the least. We can make a trip there sometime when we can take the children. Our honeymoon should be just the two of us."

Haruhi thought about the suggestion for a moment and approved. "Sounds good. But where will we honeymoon?"

"Bora Bora," Kyoya stated without hesitation. He had given this topic quite a bit of thought.

"Ok then. Decision made." Haruhi grinned as she started picking up and organizing her magazines and brochures. She couldn't stop smiling. Her future was once again full of possibility and plans.


	35. Another Ootori Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruhi and Kyoya's wedding day at the beach is picture perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

August of the following year, not quite a year after the proposal, brought everyone together for Kyoya and Haruhi's wedding.

Many years prior, while still in Ouran Academy, Kyoya had thought to teach Haruhi a lesson about vulnerability and naivete at a beach house, one belonging to the Nekozawa family. While she understood his teachings, Haruhi proved to Kyoya she'd seen past his feigned villainy and his cool facade. She had gained valuable insight into Kyoya's character when he let his mask slip

If only they had known then what they knew now. The beach was also the place where he had asked her to spend the rest of her life with him.

Kyoya reflected on the life he'd lived, and the life he wanted with Haruhi, as he stared at the ocean from the balcony of his room. This day would be the catalyst for their new adventure together. It was already starting out wonderfully. The sun was shining, but fluffy white clouds decorated the sky. A light breeze wafted around him, caressing him with the salty scent of the sea. He wanted today to be perfect for Haruhi. She truly deserved it.

***

On the day of her wedding, Haruhi sat in her dressing room staring at her own reflection in a vanity mirror. All she wore was a slip and a hair comb. The comb had amethysts set in white gold in the shape of a butterfly. She had forgotten about it, but Risa had been going through her jewelry box. It was nestled in the bottom, and needed to be cleaned. She smiled, remembering Kyoya had given it to her after his class trip to France. He'd purchased it for her as a souvenir.

So much had changed since she'd accepted his gift. She had continued her education, lived in France, married Tamaki, became a mother, became a widow, and returned to Japan to help run her late husband's father's business. She had suffered and grieved and found her way to the other side.

She had found Kyoya, but not the same Kyoya who had given her this treasure. He was a Kyoya who had been broken, much like she had been. They found each other and put each other back together, but added a part of themselves to each other's puzzles along the way.

The door to her room swung open. "Why aren't you dressed?"

Haruhi looked up to see Reiko, holding her six-week-old son, Sora, standing in her doorway. She didn't have time to answer before the woman was gliding around the room trying to get everything together for Haruhi while keeping the newborn cradled in her arms. Hayame, Hisa, and Gemma followed only a few minutes later, all squawking about everything that needed to be done.

They helped Haruhi into her dress. The dress was a simple white sheath dress, fitted to what curves she had, custom-made by Kaoru. There was beading on the bust that extended over her shoulders to create cap sleeves, then down the entirety of her back. The beading was a mixture of amethysts, diamonds, and pearls. She wore open-toed white flats with purple accent embellishments.

A stylist entered an hour later. Her makeup was done in pinker hues that she would normally have worn, but still looked natural. It made her miss Mei, who had moved to New York City to be a makeup artist on Broadway. The stylist removed the comb from Haruhi's limp locks and rolled her hair in large curlers. Once the heat left the cylindrical rods, the stylist spritzed hairspray all over Haruhi's head and removed the styling implements. Soft, oversized brown curls bounced around Haruhi's face, which the stylist combed, and shaped, and sprayed. Before she was done, the stylist replaced the French comb on the left side of Haruhi's head.

It was time. All the women exited the room except Hayame. Haruhi had asked Hayame to stand up with her. Hayame wore a simple light purple strapless gown with beading on the bust that echoed the beading on Haruhi's dress. Hayame handed Haruhi her bouquet, an oversized bunch of irises, bellflowers, and sprigs of lavender tied together with a small white bow. Hayame's bouquet contained the same flowers, but was much smaller.

Haruhi followed Hayame out of the room, closing the door behind her. So many emotions were coursing through her veins, doing backflips on her stomach, and bombarding her brain. She was anxious, nervous, sad, excited, and determined.

Hayame led Haruhi to the exit of the resort, down to the beach where a pavilion had been erected to shield the guests from the sun. The path from the resort to the beach was artfully landscaped, so she was hidden from view until she was nearly opposite the pavilion. Kaoru and Kazuki were waiting for them. They were dressed in black suits with dark purple shirts, light purple ties, and light purple pocket squares.

Hayame stepped into the aisle with Kaoru, leaving Haruhi and Kazuki behind a bush and signalling the beginning of the ceremony. The music began playing. Kaoru walked his wife down the aisle.

Kazuki looked so proud and full of responsibility. It was a big job to walk his mother down the aisle. Kyoya-sama had asked him personally, and he took it very seriously. Haruhi's heart was filled to the brim at the sight of her little boy. She bent over and gave him a hug, eliciting a "Mom! Ugh!" from the boy who had turned nine last month.

She held Kazuki's hand as her song played. They steadily walked down the aisle, meeting the faces of friends and family alike with wide smiles. Haruhi was aware of all the eyes on her at first, and she looked around, but after only a few steps down the aisle, her eyes met Kyoya's.

From far away, it looked like maybe he had tears in his eyes, but she may have been mistaken.

 

The ceremony proceeded without much ado. It was short and sweet.

By the time they walked out of the beach pavilion, hand-in-hand, Haruhi and Kyoya had been pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Kyoya Ootori.

The couple faced challenges from Yoshio and Yuzuru. Both wanted an extravagant celebration, though for different reasons. Yoshio wanted to use it as a show of power. A Suoh/Ootori marriage was going to be the event of the year. Yuzuru wanted to use it simply because it was his nature. He was incredibly proud of Haruhi, and wanted to indulge her every whim.

Unfortunately for Yuzuru, Haruhi's whim was to have an intimate wedding. The couple compromised though. The wedding itself was an intimate beach affair, but the reception was held at an upscale hotel further down the beach, since the resort did not have accommodations for essentially the entirety of Japan's high society.

The ballroom had an ocean view and was filled with purple and white flowers and accents. The former hosts dined and danced through the night. Kyoya took the opportunity to show off pictures of his infant niece, Amy Ootori, to a few of the hosts after he'd had a few drinks. Kazuki was dragged onto the dance floor by Fumiko, while Risa (properly attired in a white tulle dress with a purple sash and ribbons in her blonde hair) simultaneously forced Hiroki and Toichi (Mori's and Kaoru's sons, five and four respectively) to dance with her by sheer force of will and personality.

Ranka switched between sobbing and dancing with joy. Yuzuru spent most of his time at the reception talking business with a few clients who had attended. Kyoya's parents kept mostly to themselves, as did Yuuichi and his wife. His sister and her husband joined in the revelry of the night.

By the time the night ended, Kyoya had to carry Haruhi into the elevator when they returned to the resort, and then into their suite. She was asleep within seconds of gently laying her on their bed. A part of him was disappointed, but he knew they had plenty of time for fun.

* * *

When their flight landed in Bora Bora, Haruhi and Kyoya turned their phones back on and they practically buzzed out of their hands. The first messages were congratulations from people who hadn't been able to make it to the wedding or reception. Those were followed by pictures of various drunk people at the reception, including Kyoya. Haruhi covered her mouth and laughed at a particularly hilarious one of Kyoya dancing,  _twirling_ , with her father, who was also inebriated.

The text after that was from Hikaru, which read  **She said yes!**  This was followed by a picture from Gemma of a massive engagement ring. Haruhi texted a quick congratulations to both of them and put her phone away. Apparently, the wedding weekend atmosphere had inspired Hikaru.

They checked into their resort and didn't wait to unpack before they made use of their overwater bungalow. Afterward, they laid together in the bed, exchanging "I love you's" and whispering sweet nothings.

They changed into swimwear and dove into the ocean from their deck. Over the course of their two-week honeymoon, they went parasailing and snorkeling and stargazing. The newlyweds went on sunset cruises and scuba diving adventures, and ate top-notch cuisine.

For the most part, the couple forgot the world they left behind, but Haruhi did call her children every other day. They both missed the kids, but this was no place for children.

For two weeks, Haruhi and Kyoya soaked up the sun and enjoyed nearly every activity the resort had to offer. Even more than the resort, they enjoyed being with each other. They were together at all times, and they couldn't get enough of each other, whether it was making love or just basking on the beach while they read.

But it had to end, and soon they were on an airplane back to Japan, back to the real world and their new lives together.


	36. The Honeymoon's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of the newlywed's life after they return from their honeymoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. 

Life in the Kawari changed forever when Kyoya and Haruhi's plane landed in Tokyo. Kyoya had already packed most of his belongings, but he began moving them into the mansion by calling his staff and giving them the order.

Tamaki's shrine was kept intact, and Kyoya was given another room to act as his office. It was still near Haruhi's office, but it was less than ideal. The children's playing and various music lessons were often a distraction, but he tried not to be bothered by it too much. He adored them, and loved their laughter.

The family visited Akito and Sarah only days after their return from Bora Bora in mid-August. School was still out in America and Japan, so it was a perfect time. Kyoya was excited to finally meet his niece, Amy, who was already five months old. She had the Ootori black hair, but her eyes were hazel – not quite grey like Akito's, but not green like Sarah's either. She had chubby cheeks, and cooed when anyone smiled at her. Risa found her new favorite person, but Kazuki was less impressed. She was, after all, just a baby.

The Ootoris and Suoh children spent most of their vacation at the beach in San Francisco, but they made trips to Seaworld, the San Diego Zoo, and Disneyland. The adults engaged a babysitter so they could go on a day trip to wine country. Sarah hadn't left little Amy alone overnight, and Haruhi understood her reluctance to do so. While on their trip, Akito pulled Kyoya aside.

"You are happier than I've ever seen you, brother."

"I could say the same to you," laughed Kyoya.

"There's something I need you to do for me," Akito admitted nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Kyoya narrowed his eyes. "I will, if it is within my power."

"I need you to tell Father about Amy. I've made a lot of mistakes, but my life here is not one of them. I want him to know that I may never return to Japan, but I have a family now, and a fulfilling life. If you would give him my phone number and email address, too, that would be greatly appreciated. I'm making the first move here, and I won't again unless he contacts me. I'd like him to know his granddaughter, and any others we may have. Amy doesn't deserve not to know her grandparents just because I messed up their plans."

"I will tell him."

"Thank you."

***

 

When Kyoya returned to Japan, he went to his father's office. He hadn't made an appointment, so Yoshio made him wait. He was finally allowed inside, but Yoshio demanded to know what could prompt Kyoya to be so informal and just show up without notification.

"Personal matters," was all Kyoya said as he handed his father a picture of Amy.

"What is the meaning of this? Who is this child? Do you have a love child?"

"You have a wild imagination, Father. This is Amy Akira Ootori, your granddaughter. She is the daughter of Akito and Sarah Ootori."

Yoshio was silent as he held the baby's image in his hand. Kyoya made no attempt to fill the noiseless void, but after several minutes, he saw a drop of water fall onto his father's desk.

Haruhi had been right. His father regretted driving Akito to flee Japan, and now regretted he had missed his first living grandchild.

Yoshio collected himself and cleared his throat, but still didn't look at Kyoya. Instead, his eyes were fixed on the little girl he might never have met if not for Akito's approval. Kyoya relayed the message his brother gave him for their father. He gave Yoshio a business card from Akito with a phone number, email address, and home mailing address written on the back. The last item Kyoya gave his father was a picture of Akito and Sarah holding Amy between them, all of them smiling – a bright, happy family.

Then Kyoya left his father to his tears and shame, feeling the one thing Yoshio Ootori never thought any of his children could feel for him: pity. This, however, was mixed with something else – hope.

 

* * *

 

Kyoya's birthday rolled around, and was a low-key affair. He was turning thirty-five, but he didn't think it was anything to celebrate with an elaborate party. Instead, it was just a small dinner at a Suoh-owned restaurant with Haruhi and his host friends and their wives. All children had been left at home.

Hikaru ordered a bottle of champagne and poured each attendee a glass. He was in high spirits, having just returned from his honeymoon a week prior. He was about to give a toast when Haruhi stood and cleared her throat.

"I'd like to make a toast."

Hikaru sat back down and deferred to Kyoya's wife for the first toast.

"If not for Kyoya, we may not have ever been friends. If not for Kyoya, our controversial high school club may not have made it long enough for me to join. If not for Kyoya hanging a debt over my head, I may never have stuck around to see how amazing all of you were and still are. He is a motivated, ambitious, driven man who is intelligent and passionate. He has proven himself to be a wonderful husband, and a loving step-father, and a caring friend. I am sure he will prove himself even further in being an incredible father." With one hand she raised her glass, while she rested the other on her abdomen. "To Kyoya."

Everyone raised their glasses and drank, except Haruhi, who had set her untouched champagne on the table, and now stood with both hands on her abdomen. She was looking at Kyoya, who was sitting next to her.

Kyoya noticed the full glass first, after he set his own down, and then his wife still standing. The lightbulb in his head finally went off. He quickly stood, pushing his chair behind him, knocking it over. He embraced Haruhi as she squealed with delight.

"Congratulations Haru-chan, Kyo-chan! Your little one won't be much younger than Sora, and he'll have someone to play with!" said Hunny with a grin.

"Wait! You hijacked my toast with a pregnancy announcement?" Hikaru crossed his arms, trying to look mad. He didn't quite pull it off though. Between the high of being newly married and finding out this news, how could he possibly make an angry face?

 

* * *

 

Kyoya and Haruhi welcomed identical twin boys at the end of July of the following year. They named them Hibiki and Naoki. They had black hair and grey eyes like Kyoya.

Kyoya was named his father's heir shortly thereafter, and the young Ootori family replaced the older family in the Ootori mansion. He resigned his position at the University Hospital to take on some of his father's responsibilities. He still employed his brother, Yuuichi, and treated him well.

Only two months after the Ootori twins were born, Hikaru and Gemma welcomed their own addition, a little red-haired baby girl they called Amaya.

Haruhi was nothing but overjoyed when she found out she was pregnant again only six months after the birth of the twins, though Kyoya was a little overwhelmed at the thought. On Kyoya's 37th birthday, Haruhi gave birth to a brown-haired, grey-eyed little girl they named Chiaki.

Life was more than Kyoya or Haruhi had ever thought possible. Their family meant the world to them. Kyoya excelled in every task he took over from his father.

Haruhi finished the project that was closest to Tamaki's heart, the whole reason she had been helping Yuzuru at Suoh Corp. Tamaki's dream was to protect the workers of Suoh Corp because he had once witnessed a restaurant patron a waiter be fired on the spot. Tamaki hated the injustice, but his interference in the matter was forbidden by his father. He wanted to have protections in place that would keep those employed on the lowest levels from being overworked and unjustly fired. He didn't want anyone to take advantage of those beneath them. His dream was for his father's company to be a family where everyone respected each other and did their best to help.

After completing the project, Haruhi demoted herself to her previous profession. She still worked for Yuzuru, but in a strictly legal capacity. Her lawyer skills were rusty, but it didn't take her long to get back into the swing of it. Yuzuru made her the head of the legal department, which she wasn't happy about until he pointed out she could delegate as much as she wanted, leaving her more time to spend with her family, provided she had enough people under her to not overwork the staff.

She had left Tamaki's shrine in Kawari, so she visited him once in awhile. She still had a key, but the staff let her in without it. Haruhi would ask his advice on various matters, or just sit in silence with tears trailing down her face. She would give him updates about their children and her younger ones, about Kyoya and his family, and about their friends. Maybe he already knew, but she liked to think she was offering new information or insight. It was cathartic for her to tell him, just as she had once confided to her mother's shrine.

Tamaki had forever changed her world when he entered it, then altered it again when he left. The cavernous hole he had left had been hard to fill, but five years and two weeks after she laid him to rest, she'd married Kyoya. Less than three years after her marriage, the hole filled more with the birth of the twin boys and her daughter. Occasionally, she still felt the pain of how deep that hole had once been, but more often than not, she felt the joy of being almost whole once again.

* * *

 

**A/N** : All that's left is the epilogue, which I will post later this week.

When I was figuring out a title for this story, I wanted to make some kind of reference to the manga/anime relationship between Haruhi and Kyoya wherein he is always calculating how much Haruhi owes the club for various infractions. But this story is obviously not so much about monetary costs. When I was explaining to my beta/editor this title, I explained what nuances I could see. Like the description of the story states, the cost of love for Haruhi is grief. She loved Tamaki and lost him. Her love for him cost her so much happiness for a long time, though the gains were significant while he lived. Falling for and marrying another after such a profound loss was a risk for her, but it did pay off.

Beyond Haruhi, though, Kyoya had to put aside his pride to allow Haruhi back into his life. He also made sacrifices and allowances knowing he would never possess all of Haruhi's heart. Hikaru had to give up Haruhi. His love for her could have cost them their friendship if he hadn't been willing to let her go when she wanted out. In the end, he found his a new love with its own rewards.

I wanted this fanfic to be real. I wanted you to FEEL the sadness, the joy, the tension. I wanted you to SEE what was happening. I hope I did not disappoint you because I don't feel as if I've disappointed myself with my finished product.

Thank you for sticking with me!


	37. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The host club and their families gather for a New Year's Eve wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the last time, I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.

  _Twenty years after the death of Tamaki Suoh_

 

Haruhi grabbed a blanket from the closet in the hallway and wrapped it around herself as she sat on the floor in front of Tamaki's shrine. Over the years, she had visited less and less often, though the rose was still changed every day. It had been several months since she'd been to the mansion. Kazuki lived in the main Suoh mansion with his grandfather, and had considered moving it there, but she had convinced him to leave it so she could visit without intruding on his life.

This visit was special. Though she knew Tamaki was still watching over all of them, she still liked to catch him up on the events in her life. It was cathartic to speak to him. She had a busy day ahead of her, so she made the time to come before all the chaos got out of hand.

She shifted herself until she was comfortable, wishing she had brought a chair from another room, cursing her aging body.

She sighed and began her one-sided conversation. "You've been gone twenty years, my beloved prince. It seems so long ago, but sometimes just like yesterday. Some days, I don't recognize myself, and it's not just the gray strands in my hair, or the wrinkles that have formed on my face. It's just that some days, I don't feel like that girl you fell in love with, or that fell in love with you."

Haruhi sat quietly for a while as the grandfather clock in the hallway ticked away the minutes.

"We celebrated Christmas last week. As you know, we moved it to the Ootori mansion after Kyoya and I moved there. It's still done Tamaki Suoh-style. The kotatsu is so much larger now that when it started when it was just the two of us and our single friends.

"Risa announced she would be bringing her boyfriend tonight. She didn't tell us his name, but it's a big step for her to bring someone to such an important family event. She's surprisingly secretive where her love life is concerned, or maybe she's as dense as her mother. I know Kazuki is, or was, until Fumiko blindsided him. A part of me has always known they loved each other, but I thought it was as friends." Haruhi paused and softly chuckled, "I guess I was blindsided by her confession, too."

Haruhi sighed again. "And now they're getting married. Tonight, our little Kazuki Suoh will marry the only girl he's ever loved - Hunny's daughter, Fumiko Haninozuka."

She smiled at the shrine. The pictures had faded, but Tamaki hadn't aged a day. Her beautiful, lonely prince was still vibrant at twenty-nine, while she was fading at nearly forty-eight. She wondered what her life would have been if Tamaki had never boarded that plane, but she pushed the thought away. At this point, she couldn't imagine her life without Kyoya. She had long ago decided Tamaki would never begrudge her the happiness she'd found with the Shadow King.

Just then, her phone began to buzz. She pulled it from her pocket and answered. "Kyoya?"

"I know you're visiting Tamaki, but your father has just arrived and is demanding to see you." Her father, now sixty-seven, was beside himself that his grandbaby was getting married. Since the engagement, he'd pulled all his usual dramatics, and it was becoming more and more difficult to deal with his antics as the New Year's Eve wedding date grew closer. And Kyoya's patience with the aging diva was becoming thinner and thinner.

"I'll be there soon. I'm just finishing up here."

The call was disconnected and Haruhi slowly rose from the floor, her muscles protesting the movement. "I am too old to sit on the floor like this. Next time, I need a chair." She picked up a picture of Tamaki and gave it a kiss. "Until next time."

* * *

All the bustle at the main Suoh mansion was a lot to take in. People were everywhere in preparation for the impending nuptials. The winter had been mild, so there was no snow on the ground, though there was a chill in the air. Yuzuru had arranged for several large, heated tents to be set up in the back of the estate. There was one for the wedding ceremony, one for the kitchen staff and caterers, and another large enough for a dining area and dance floor. All the tents were windowed so the scenery of the estate could be enjoyed. Each tent was also adorned with flowers and tulle, inside and out.

Kazuki, now twenty-four, and his grandfather's apprentice and heir, stood stoic amongst the organized chaos. He was already dressed in his formalwear, awaiting his guests in the ceremony tent.

Haruhi and Kyoya were the first to arrive, along with the twins and their daughter, now fourteen and thirteen, respectively.

Ranka arrived in a separate car after them. He had been calmed down by Haruhi before they left the Ootori estate. The twins wasted no time leaving their parents behind to cause trouble for the staff. Kyoya and Ranka trailed the boys in an attempt to curtail their subterfuge, while Haruhi made her way to the room where Fumiko would get ready for the ceremony.

Hunny and Reiko were the next to arrive, bringing the bride and their younger children, Sachika and Sora, now seventeen and fifteen. Hunny quickly scouted the area to make sure Kazuki was nowhere in sight so he wouldn't see Fumiko before the wedding.

Mori and Hisa followed shortly after Hunny with their youngest son, Rin, now seventeen, who bore a striking resemblance to his father. Their eldest son, Hiroki, now twenty, didn't want to come with his parents like a child, so he drove to the event in his own vehicle.

Several other guests arrived as the afternoon dipped into evening. Suoh, Ootori, and Haninozuka business associates were in attendance. Hunny's parents arrived to watch their granddaughter's wedding, as did Chika and his wife and family. Mori's parents also attended, since Fumiko was their niece. Mori's brother Satoshi and his wife and family were invited as well, and they heartily accepted and sat with Mori. Yuzuru made his way directly to the ceremony tent. At eighty, he couldn't risk being in the cold for too long.

Kaoru, Hayame, and their sixteen-year-old Hana didn't arrive until well after the entire Morinozuka clan had settled into their seats. Toichi was twenty now, and not as easily entertained as when he was three, so he took a separate car so he could leave when the event became boring.

Most of Kyoya's family were in attendance. They had watched Haruhi's children grow over the years, and had formed a tight bond with them. Yoshio admired Kazuki's serious nature and quiet determination, and Risa's dramatics were as endearing to him as those of Fuyumi when she was growing up.

Akito had long ago patched the rift between himself and his father, but turned Kyoya down when he'd offered him a position within the Ootori Group if he moved back to Japan. He loved his life in America, and didn't want to uproot his children and wife or himself. Their lives were no longer in Japan, and Kyoya understood. Akito and Sarah had been extended an invitation, but they had declined, promising to visit again when their schedules were less hectic. Their son Ben had a sports tournament commitment over the holiday break, so the American Ootori family couldn't get away.

Hikaru, Gemma, and Amaya, now fourteen, arrived at the mansion fashionably late, just before the ceremony was supposed to begin. But for Hikaru, "fashionably late" was on time, so he didn't see a problem with it.

Everyone took their seats and waited for the ceremony to begin.

***

In a bedroom overlooking the grounds, Haruhi, Reiko, Risa, and Sachika assisted Fumiko with the finishing touches. Fumiko was a stunning bride. She wore her hair down in big, soft curls that flowed to the middle of her back. A diamond tiara was set in her golden locks with a long veil. Her dress was a tiered ball gown confection of white organza detailed with diamond beading.

_Our little prince has found his princess._  Haruhi couldn't help thinking to herself as she watched this young woman who would soon be her daughter.

Reiko and Haruhi sent Risa and Sachika ahead to take their places, then they walked with Fumiko to the back door of the mansion. There, Hunny was waiting in a cart to take them to the ceremony tent. At the tent, Haruhi smiled at Fumiko and squeezed a sniffling Reiko's hand. She went inside and took her seat between Kyoya and their children.

***

The ceremony was beautiful and left most of the guests in tears, or at least attempting to hold back their waterworks. There was something truly moving about a couple who had known each other their entire lives, who had grown up together, who had been the best of friends, who had found love with one another. Afterwards, the guests filtered into the reception tent.

Haruhi and Kyoya were seated with their friends and their wives. Their children were seated together, mostly by age. Risa, Sachika, Hiroki, Rin, and Toichi sat together since they were the oldest, while Hibiki, Naoki, Chiaki, Sora, Hana, and Amaya were seated together, upsetting Hana. Toichi refused to let his little sister sit at his table, though.

There was food and dancing and speeches and cake, much to Hunny's delight. The old Host Club members spent some amount of time catching up and reminiscing about their own past experiences and recalling Kazuki and Fumiko's lifelong courtship. But eventually, their attentions were focused more on the younger generation who seemed to be attempting to figure out love.

The first one Kyoya noticed was his own daughter. Chiaki was thirteen and seemed to not be able to pull her eyes away from Mori's son Rin. He was seventeen, and sat at a different table, but that didn't seem to matter. He began watching Rin to see if the little punk had any ideas on his little girl, but he wasn't even looking at her. She didn't exist. Instead, Rin was focused on Kaoru's daughter Hana, a beautiful sixteen-year-old redhead who had been upset when her older brother wouldn't let her sit with them.

Haruhi put her hand on his arm, drawing his attention back to her, and asked what was on his mind.

"I think I'm starting to channel your father's overprotective dad ways. And Tamaki's. Chiaki seems to be smitten with Rin, but he is ignoring her in favor of Hana. At first, it ticked me off because I don't want our little girl interested in boys, not yet, at least. But now, a part of me is upset the boy in question doesn't return her feelings."

Haruhi laughed. "It'll be okay. Rin is not her first crush. Last month, she was obsessed with Yuji Nekozawa, who is a year above her in middle school."

"How did I not know this?"

"She didn't want me to say. This infatuation with Rin will pass, but you should get used to this feeling."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and sighed. He looked around and noticed there was more going on than he saw before.

Hunny's son, Sora, and Hikaru's daughter, Amaya, sat across from each other at the end of their table exchanging shy, awkward glances. There was a mutual attraction between the two and they managed to hold conversation, but they were both too embarrassed to make a move. He just shook his head.

Haruhi and Kyoya attempted to keep a sharp eye on their twin boys. Though they were fourteen, they weren't nearly as interested in the opposite sex like their younger sister. Instead, they had been inspired by stories told by Hikaru and Kaoru about the hijinks they had pulled when they were growing up. Hibiki and Naoki were always looking for new, though relatively harmless, ways to cause mischief for those around them. They were very much their own people, but the Hitachiins had shown them how useful being an identical twin could be. Luckily for Haruhi and Kyoya, they had both mastered how to tell their twins apart.

Risa approached her mother and stepfather with a tall young man in tow. She introduced him as Kenji Kuze. Kyoya's eyes grew wide. What were the chances his stepdaughter would be dating the son and heir of his high school rival, Takeshi Kuze?

Risa explained they had attended Ouran together, but he was a year above her, and they didn't have the same circle of friends since she was always more creative and artsy and he was into sports. He had dined at her restaurant a few months prior and requested to compliment the chef in person. When he found out Risa was the chef, manager, and owner of the establishment, he was intrigued. She was a Suoh, after all, and didn't have to work as hard as she did. He was impressed with her passion for the culinary arts, and fascinated by her drive to succeed.

The young couple dismissed themselves from her mother's presence so they could dance. Haruhi smiled again as she gazed at Kyoya, who still looked shocked. There were only subtle hints of this, but after knowing him so long, she knew the signs.

Haruhi couldn't ease his mind. She saw the way her daughter looked at the young Kuze, but she had also noted how he'd looked at her. "They're in love, Kyoya. They didn't say it, but I see it. She's never talked about anyone like that, and her eyes lit up and her smile was brighter. There will be another wedding in three or four years."

Kyoya didn't respond. They sat back down at the table. Eventually, they eased back into conversation with their friends. The older club members watched as the young ones fumbled. Toichi, trying to stave off boredom, asked Sachika to dance. The request surprised the girl, because most boys were intimidated by her. She was a skilled martial artist, and exceptionally talented at the Haninozuka style. Boys mostly challenged her to karate matches, not dancing. For her, at least, the grace of her martial arts training did translate to her dancing, which surprised Toichi.

Rin finally worked up the nerve to ask Hana. She enjoyed the attention, and enthusiastically said yes. Chiaki fumed the entire dance, never breaking her stare. During the next dance, Hana asked Hiroki to dance, and he shrugged in agreement. It was Rin's turn to be jealous as his older brother waltzed with Hana. Sora asked Amaya to dance, and she agreed, but they stood as far apart as possible and didn't look at each other. When they did make eye contact, they both immediately looked away and blushed redder than they had before.

The last dance of the reception was at midnight. Kyoya held Haruhi in his arms as they danced. Haruhi was tired, and her emotions were starting to get the best of her as tears welled up in her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

She tilted her head toward Kazuki and Fumiko, who had a tight hold on each other on another part of the dance floor, exchanging little kisses and whispers. "I can't help thinking how much Tamaki would have loved to be here, to watch his son get married." Then she shifted her gaze to Risa and Kenji, who were dancing a respectable distance apart, but were gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. "And to meet his daughter's boyfriend." She paused and said with a light giggle. "Okay, maybe not so much meeting the boyfriend, but to know she was happy."

Kyoya pulled her close to him in a strong embrace and whispered in her ear. "He is here, my love. That idiot wouldn't miss this for the world."

He kissed her cheek, and she hugged him even closer, happy tears trailing down her face.

 

_**THE END** _

* * *

**A/N** : THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. You, my readers, have been incredible. Thank you so much for sticking with me these past four months. It has been a wonderful journey.

At this point, I don't know what else to say. Please leave me a review or send me a message. On to the next project...


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